Rules and Guidelines

Imamother is for the private use and enjoyment of Jewish Orthodox married or once married women.


Posts that do not conform to the rules should be reported immediately, and will be deleted or edited. Users who engage in rule-breaking activity will be warned or deactivated without notice depending on the severity of the situation. If you find that a thread or post violates the rules below, please report it to the moderator of that section. Rule breaking posts that have not yet been reported cannot be assumed to have been judged ok to stay up. Our mods cannot possibly read everything posted every day. If a member repeatedly posts comments which are against the rules, she may be asked to leave, or refrain from posting such comments. It is up to the administrator to decide when and if a banning should occur.

1. Treat each other with dignity and respect. All participants have the right to engage in heated and even passionate debate, as long as you can address issues, not people. Launching personal attacks against another participant is unacceptable and will be reported and moderated. Avoid words of incitement. Language meant merely to mock and insult should never be used.

2. All posts must conform to the Torah. Imamother caters to Jewish Orthodox women, adheres to the strict guidelines of our Torah, and continues to be molded upon the feedback of orthodox women. Posts that contradict the teachings of our Torah, or even interpretations of the Torah that do not follow our strict laws, are forbidden. We require posts to be predicated upon the belief in the 13 Principles of Faith as outlined here.

3. Intimate issues: In order to keep a tznius atmosphere where everyone can feel comfortable, we do not allow explicit intimate topics to be discussed. However we recognize that the intimacy forum on Imamother is the only anonymous resource available to married women who are having trouble with intimacy or have questions. Therefore we do allow women to get answers for their questions. Anything intimacy related should be posted only in the intimacy forum, so that those wishing to skip over these topics can do so easily. When starting a new thread, please mention the purpose of your question, whether it is to get advice, support or you need information. Please do not include explicit details that are not needed. It is up to the moderators to decide what is acceptable and what isn't. If you post explicit posts, you will get flagged for verification. Before starting a new thread please search through the topics already posted, since chances are, your question has already been asked. When enough varied answers have been provided the thread may get locked to avoid discussing intimacy only for the thrill. Sometimes a topic not normally allowed, will be left open for a short while so that the original poster (after being verified) can get the help she needs. As soon as the mods feel the thread has served its purpose, the thread will be hidden. If you are the OP and have not seen the replies to your thread before it got hidden, you can ask Yael to send them to you. Be aware that Yael will verify your username before doing this.

4. Controversial topics: Although we do believe in free speech, please avoid anything controversial or political in the regular forum. However, we do have a controversial topics section. In this section you are permitted to debate highly controversial and passionate topics. This section is also un-moderated. Please do not enter this section if you are sensitive or will take an attack to heart. By posting in the controversial topics section you understand that anything you post can and will be held against you. We have a very diverse group of women who have very different opinions on most topics. There will always be someone who does not agree with you. Please make sure you are willing to take the flak before posting. By posting you understand that you may be attacked for your opinions. Avoid launching personally insulting statements about any posters, or the very same thing could happen to you too. These comments will not be moderated, unless the administrator decides, at her sole discretion, to do so. When a thread in this section has run its course and begins to run in circles, or spins out of control with degrading remarks, it will be locked. Topics that are not controversial should not be posted in the controversial section simply to avoid getting moderated. These types of threads will be moved elsewhere. Please respect the Rules even when posting in the controversial section.

5. Spam and Advertising: Please do not post links to for-profit websites. Posting about your website or business is considered taking a free ad, and is not tolerated. Posting about a friend's business is also not acceptable. Do not email or private message any members with this information either. This is considered spam, and is unacceptable. If you'd like to advertise or post an announcement (text ad) please email us for rates. Using your signature for business: It is not permitted to include a link to your website in your signature. This includes links from which you make a commission. This also includes messages such as "Pm me for great prices on clothing", or "ask me how you can make money", etc. To pay for a yearly signature ad please email me. In your profile there is a place to post your website. You may do so there. Posting a thread or post encouraging women to check out your blog is considered taking a free ad, and is not permitted. Responding to a woman's question with a helpful link to an answer which is located on your blog, is only permitted if the link takes you directly to the page with the answer. For example: posting "go to www.myblog.com to see what I say on this topic" is not allowed. But posting "go to myblog.com/youranswer is ok as long as the link is truly helpful, AND you post at least part of the answer in your post above the link. Avoid overusing this option, since it tends to annoy many members.

6. Trolls: There is nothing more despised on Imamother than a troll. The description "troll" applies to any man, never married woman, non-religious, or non-Jewish person, who lied on the questionnaire in order to gain illegal access to Imamother. The description troll also applies to any legitimate member who uses a second username to provoke controversy. Any user who posts suspicious looking topics will be assumed to be a troll, deactivated, and subject to a verification process. After passing verification, a legitimate user will be reactivated. If it is not possible to verify legitimacy, the user will be assumed to be a troll until proven innocent. If you suspect a user of being a troll, you should report the suspicious post or the user. In the report describe your suspicions, and the mods will take it from there. Many times someone who looks like a troll is actually legitimate, so in order to avoid hurting a real woman's feelings, it is not permitted to call troll in a thread.

7. Discussions not worth having: There are certain discussions that always end badly no matter how they are phrased and therefore they are not allowed to be discussed anymore. It is not allowed to start discussions on the topic of racism, since these discussions are hurtful to certain members. Homosexuality and anything about meshichists (those who believe the Lubavitcher Rebbe is Moshiach) is not allowed to be discussed.

We reserve the right at any time to change or add any rules to this list. There is a possibility that a person may be banned even though the rule she broke is not listed here.


Things you should know in order to fully appreciate and benefit from Imamother.com:

* Please remember that an attack on your opinion is NOT an attack on you, personally. Don't take everything said to heart and you'll enjoy yourself more.

* Try not to judge people by their posts. Be tolerant of other posters viewpoints.

* When posting, please be sure to post in the right forum. When writing posts, stay on the topic and make sure to preview before you post. Many members find it annoying when posts are off topic and don't make sense.

* Please stick to English and translate obscure Hebrew and Yiddish terms.

* Questions are always welcome. When posting answers make sure that the information you are submitting is accurate. If it includes references to something written in a Sefer or something that your Rebbe said either provide the source or be willing to look it up if someone asks.

* Avoid stereotyping and sweeping generalities, such as defining whole groups' behaviour by the behaviour of some. Many types of women are represented on Imamother; you never know which poster you may offend.

* Never post an email address or a website. Contact between members could go through private messages. We often have robots crawling the public sections of Imamother looking for email addresses and you don't want to get spam. (Exception: in the private sections you may post an anonymous email address if that is the only way for someone to contact you anonymously. The private sections are the sections that you must login to in order to read the posts.)

* You don't have to like everything that is being posted. If you don't like something - ignore it. If you think it is offensive - report it. If you respond to a message you don't like, you encourage continuation of the same.

*The posts that are posted by "amother" are not all written by the same person. Amother is anonymous mask that you can use to post private things. Amother should not be used to attack another poster. Please do not use amother to post things which are not private or personal. If you want to post something anonymously that is not obviously private, please mention briefly your reason for anonymity in order to avoid criticism for over-use of amother.

*To post anonymously, just click yes where it asks you "post anonymously?" under your message, before posting.

*At times a thread may be removed to a hidden section so that the administrator can review the content. Please be patient while it gets reviewed. At times the thread may be edited before being put back or not replaced at all.

*If you have a question please refer to our help section before contacting the admin.

Disclaimer: The posts on this forum are written by a very varied group of women with different views and hashkafos. Please don't take any comments or answers as a P'sak Halacha. Please ask your own Rav to find out which opinion you should go by.

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