extravagant bday parties for toddlers

pinkbubbles

Wed, May 06 2009, 12:24 am

DH, DS and I keep getting invited to these overdone birthday parties for kids turning 1, 2, and 3. There are like 20 kid friends there plus family memebers, tons of nosh, a huge birthday cake thats really over the top and TONS of presents. Crazy decorations with everything matching, goody bags.. I can't imagine how much it all costs, since party goods are super pricey here. Its not like the families are wealthy or the kids are spoiled (well maybe they are from the parties!) 99% of the time they have no clue whats going on! They gleefully rip open the presents and then ask for more, while running around on a sugar high. The kids there usually just get jealous and wonder why they are not getting any presents, etc.

Are these parties for the parents???

I would personally never make any big parties with so many kids, no matter what the age. And I wouldn't go overboard! Its not like a bar mitzva or sweet 16 or something! At least then you have an excuse!

nicole81

Wed, May 06 2009, 12:44 am

I have a friend that makes huge birthday parties for her daughter. she does it because they have a big family with many cousins who *have* to be invited. the easiest way to accommodate them is in a venue other than her house.

it's ridiculous to me though. the best party I ever made was my dd's 3yo birthday. I made a cd with tons of kids songs, had pizza, dancing, and cake. I also had 3 friends dress up as her favorite characters. I invite a total of 4 kids to her parties and they all have a blast.

she turned 4 this year around pesach (I still have to make her a party... I'm running behind!) I desperately wanted to make it at a party place because I don't want to clean, host, then clean again. but I asked her 3 times if she wanted a party in a place with rides and games, and each time she said she wanted a party in the house! my friends/family will probably think we're being cheap, but I want to give the girl what she asked for!

pinkbubbles

Wed, May 06 2009, 3:42 am

I was thinking if I had the problem of 'I must invite such and such people' I would simply tell them I am making a small party because I don't think DS needs more. Thats it. I dont even want to make him a party til hes like, 4 or 5 (except in playgroup/gan/whatever if they do so). Only then I would have a few friends for him. I don't even want to do family parties. Its so unnecessary in my opinion. It'll be a day out with the immediate family, just as DH and I spend our birthdays! Whats the point if they don't even know or ask for it.

Raisin

Wed, May 06 2009, 7:03 am

any party for a kid aged 1, 2 or 3 is for the parents, not the kids. I don't make parties for my kids till they are 4 or 5, becasue we don't have family around to invite.

I make birthday parties for them once they are in school for their friends (maybe 10-15 kids, I don't like inviting a few kids only because I don't like excluding people) at home. they eat pizza, play a few party games and each kid takes home a party bag with some little cheap toys in it. most people do similar. of course for most parents it is way too much to handle, to plan a whole party all on their own! cooking and serving and entertaining kids, so they hire entertainers to do that for them, or make it in play zone type place.

for a little kid you are not doing them any favours by inviting 20+ people. 3 or 4 people is plenty for a 2 or 3 year old.

tovarena

Wed, May 06 2009, 8:07 am

pinkbubbles wrote:

Whats the point if they don't even know or ask for it.

Agreed that it's not really "for" the children - the "point" is for the friends and family to celebrate the milestone. And if the parents want to do so, why begrudge them that? We did one of the sorts of parties you are describing for our kids' first birthday. We rented a pavillion in a park ($30), had CDs on a boombox, got bubbles, crayons, and a couple of easel pads of paper for the kids. The paper goods all matched and had a theme - Mickey and Minnie - plates, cups, forks, and tablecloths (and matching invitations, too). For food, a fruit platter and veggie platter, chips and dips, pretzels, cookies, and drinks. And yes, a fancy store-bought cake.

And the party was big (okay, WAY bigger than I was happy with but DH wasn't willing to exclude friends and we do have all our immediate families here). 13 families, 18 adults (including us), 16 kids (including ours). BUT total cost of the party - $125! Maybe some people will think that's still over the top. But we felt it was a very reasonable amount for what may be the one and only first birthday we'll ever be able to celebrate with a child(ren) of ours. And the kids DID enjoy it. And I'm pretty sure they even knew, and enjoyed, that they were the center of attention. I know some people might think otherwise, but I don't happen to think it's so terrible to allow a child to be the center of attention once a year.

ss321

Wed, May 06 2009, 8:15 am

tovarena good point - esp the part about the $125 cost.

When our first son was born we also made a big to-do for his first birthday party - as if HE cared! it was more for us, than for him! We invited our siblings and their families, our parents, and a few friends/neighbords who have babies/toddlers, and made a BBQ-style party. It took me a while to get pg with my first, and I guess we were just grateful to be able to celebrate a "milestone" with our family like that! Was it over the top? I dont think so. Would other people think it was? maybe because there were lots of people there, yes!
we also spent very little- the $ was on the food (steak=costly, rest was hotdogs and buns, bottles of soda, etc). We bought cute kid themed cups plates and napkins, my MIL bought us an adorable cake, music also was a boom box, it was all outdoors so minimal clean up. DS got lots of presents which was exciting for him (as if he knew the significance - but having new toys and books is always exciting for a kid!). I also spent money on "invitations" which in hindsight yes, was probably a total waste - but they were the preprinted type youre invited to a birthday party for ____, when ___ where____ rsvp ____ with some kiddie design on them! so the total cost was like 8 dollars for 3 pkgs and another 8 dollars for stamps.