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solo









  
Post Posted: Mon, Aug 10 2009, 7:22 am       Post subject: hating camp wwyd
so yesterday was visiting day and being that my friend is out of town my dh and I went visit their 13 yr old daughter in camp
when we picked her up her bunkmates seemed nice and she seemed to be having a good time
but at some point during the day she told me what a terrible time shes having and that she doesnt have any friends
she was really mature about it - not crying or complaining - more just confiding in me
I felt especially awful when I tried to speak to her counselor about it after we dropped her off
her counselor doesnt think to highly of her either suggesting that this girl may have "issues"
my husband would like me to send her a package - the premade nosh ones
and I think she just too old for that
so I was hoping some of you mothers of older elementary school girls might have some suggestions on how I can make her feel better
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Chocoholic









  
Post Posted: Mon, Aug 10 2009, 7:29 am       Post subject: re: hating camp wwyd
When I was like 6,7 I was sent to camp and when they came to pick me up I told them I hated every minute of it and I did NOT have one bit of fun. The next year they FORCED me again to go on camp and again the same thing. After that, no more camp. I did not make any friends, I did not enjoy the things they did, the food was horrid etc. If she doesn't like camp, don't force her to go.
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greenfire









  
Post Posted: Mon, Aug 10 2009, 7:34 am       Post subject:
it's not her kid silly ...

however I do agree with not forcing a kid to go ...

and everybody loves a package ... no matter the age ... make one yourself or buy something a girl would like as a gift ... how about a t-shirt saying "I HATE CAMP - but my parents made me go" Twisted Evil
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solo









  
Post Posted: Mon, Aug 10 2009, 7:35 am       Post subject: re: hating camp wwyd
being that shes not my daughter sending her to camp o keeping her home is not an issue for me
I was just wondering what I can do to make her feel better while shes there.
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greenfire









  
Post Posted: Mon, Aug 10 2009, 7:37 am       Post subject:
other ideas could be some nice stationery ... a game of water UNO - it's plastic coated and can be played by the pool - FUN !!!

a flashlight for the spooky dark country nights ...
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bubby









  
Post Posted: Mon, Aug 10 2009, 7:39 am       Post subject: re: hating camp wwyd
What does her Mom have to say? There's only so much you can do, you're not the parent. Maybe this is a bit too much responsibility for you, but I have to say you are a great person (so is your DH) if you are willing to get so involved. And a package is nice!
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solo









  
Post Posted: Mon, Aug 10 2009, 7:39 am       Post subject: re: hating camp wwyd
thanks greefire - I like ur t shirt suggestion
just not the idea of undermining her parents.
I was planning to go to like oh nuts or sweet choice and get a premade package.
I really need to relax though - I keep checking for a reply to this post and worrying bout my friend and feeling bad and ...
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levial









  
Post Posted: Mon, Aug 10 2009, 1:39 pm       Post subject: re: hating camp wwyd
You're a great friend to visit and to care. Wow. Where were you when I was miserable in camp. Did I tell you all I walked away from one overnight and went a good 8 miles? some of us are not camp material. Only children like me were not meant for roommates Smile.

Yes, I'd send a package. If I was worried for the girl, I'd write an inspiring note. I might pick up a good read at the bookstore, and a journal with a lock and some cookies or candy.

The note would give her a boost - You're doing great, many of us went to camp and didn't click with everyone, this is the world, just keep your chin up. I think you're a lovely young woman and can't wait to see you at home where I know you're going to light up your parent's eyes again...they're so proud of you. (remind her what's important...not these silly girls) Add a caveat "I hope you're not too old to like some snacks..."

The journal is for her to doodle or record her angst. Amazing to look back at old journals and see the real me emerging from the writing.

The book is for when you don't feel like being in the social circle but don't want to feel awkward (eating at dinner, sitting in your bunk when others are giggling about

Tell her "The candy is for sharing...but choose wisely! Just the nicest people, and only if you want."

If you are comfortable, I'd tell the mom about the counselor's words. Just like a teacher who doesn't like your kid, a counselor can inflict lots of harm by what she allows for hours while we're not there. I'd try to nip it in the bud (These are not issues and I don't expect you to single her out...for not wanting to play dodgeball).

The mom may be more privy to whether her DD is in a phase, is naturally shy,or if the issues are unusual. There is a nice way of addressing it. "I understand that DD is not fitting in. Can you help me understand some of the dynamics?"
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raspberry tea









  
Post Posted: Tue, Aug 11 2009, 9:08 am       Post subject: Re: hating camp wwyd
solo wrote:
so yesterday was visiting day and being that my friend is out of town my dh and I went visit their 13 yr old daughter in camp
when we picked her up her bunkmates seemed nice and she seemed to be having a good time
but at some point during the day she told me what a terrible time shes having and that she doesnt have any friends
she was really mature about it - not crying or complaining - more just confiding in me
I felt especially awful when I tried to speak to her counselor about it after we dropped her off
her counselor doesnt think to highly of her either suggesting that this girl may have "issues"
my husband would like me to send her a package - the premade nosh ones
and I think she just too old for that
so I was hoping some of you mothers of older elementary school girls might have some suggestions on how I can make her feel better


She is NOT to old for a package of nosh!! I sent my kid that when he was that age in camp. They really appreciate it! BTW, my kid is in yeshiva and he still likes packages! It's a small way to show you are thinking of them and you care. Believe me she's NOT to old.
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greenfire









  
Post Posted: Tue, Aug 11 2009, 9:12 am       Post subject:
oh I have one more suggestion ... "friendship bracelets" they have kits or you can put one together with a magazine and the embroidery threads yourself ... my dd loves making them ...
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Mirabelle









  
Post Posted: Tue, Aug 11 2009, 9:25 am       Post subject: re: hating camp wwyd
Kids love those nosh baskets and I am sure she would love that you were thinking of her!

When I was in camp at 13 I remember my father going behind my mother's back and sending me tons of candy.

My mother was a health nut and preferred to send things like magazines/stationary.
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Barbara









  
Post Posted: Tue, Aug 11 2009, 11:21 am       Post subject: re: hating camp wwyd
I presume you've told her parents.

13 is such a difficult age. Sometimes they're little kids, and sometimes they're teenagers. If she's even a little ahead or behind the curve of the girls in her bunk .... it could make for a bad summer.

I second, or 12th, or whatever it is, the snack suggestion. Just check first to see if its allowed. There's no better way to attract other kids than to have some good junk food!

If food is not allowed, a journal and a couple of gel pens would probably be good.
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raspberry tea









  
Post Posted: Tue, Aug 11 2009, 11:35 am       Post subject: Re: re: hating camp wwyd
Barbara wrote:
I presume you've told her parents.

13 is such a difficult age. Sometimes they're little kids, and sometimes they're teenagers. If she's even a little ahead or behind the curve of the girls in her bunk .... it could make for a bad summer.

I second, or 12th, or whatever it is, the snack suggestion. Just check first to see if its allowed. There's no better way to attract other kids than to have some good junk food!

If food is not allowed, a journal and a couple of gel pens would probably be good.


Exactly!!! Smile
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