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Forum -> Children's Health
How do I make him understand?



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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 16 2009, 7:36 am
This is a total vent. My dh & I agree on many things. One area we generally have issues with is child health & safety. I'll mention that my baby shouldn't have strawberries/chocolate cake or whatever & he'll go ballistic at me, ranting about rules I make up for myself. We have found a way to compromise on many things.

One thing I will NOT compromise on is car seat safety. We have our daily arguments that I buckle them in too tightly/he too loosely. Today we are driving to an out of town Bar Mitzvah. I asked him to change the infant car seat for ds to a convertible, so he'll be more comfortable. I also added that he should remember that it needs to be rear facing. He started yelling about my stupid rules. I said he's not 1 or 20 lbs yet (but he'll be 1 shortly). So he said, I'm not going to install it this way for a week. I tried to explain that my would prefer expended rear facing & the AAP backs me up (as does my pediatrician). Apparently, I am unreasonable. I'm not going to compromise on this. We didn't end up changing the car seat- infant car seats are always rear facing. What do I do?
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 16 2009, 7:38 am
Stick to your grounds. Car seats secured the right way are very important and is a real safety issue.
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chaylizi




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 16 2009, 8:28 am
I would make a meeting with your pediatrician, so you can have some meeting of the minds.
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Mrs. XYZ




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 16 2009, 9:34 am
Why dont you change it youself?
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 16 2009, 9:39 am
Go to car-seat.org and print out data showing it's 5x safer for kids under 2 to still be RF and that's why AAP changed their policy. Their policy before was mainly due to a lack of RF seats on the market with a good weight limit, but now there are more and they say 2 or until outgrown.
British studies show till 4 is safest RF!

Ask him why it matters to him if your baby is RF? What's the big deal? My husband isn't completely in line (he hasn't seen the data since he doesn't have internet access) with my keeping my son RF till at least 3, but it doesn't make any difference to him really...
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amother


 

Post Sat, Oct 17 2009, 1:45 pm
Hashem_Yaazor wrote:
Go to car-seat.org and print out data showing it's 5x safer for kids under 2 to still be RF and that's why AAP changed their policy. Their policy before was mainly due to a lack of RF seats on the market with a good weight limit, but now there are more and they say 2 or until outgrown.
British studies show till 4 is safest RF!

Ask him why it matters to him if your baby is RF
? What's the big deal? My husband isn't completely in line (he hasn't seen the data since he doesn't have internet access) with my keeping my son RF till at least 3, but it doesn't make any difference to him really...


OP already said, he doesn't want to bother changing it a week later. OP, if he's turning 1 in a couple weeks, it's no cause for argument. If it's a month or more and he's not close to 20 pounds, show him one of those video on youtube put up by parents whose children were killed in an accident because they didn't know how to properly secure them.

How could a 2 year old sit rear facing, and a 4 year old? Their legs are too long. Sounds weird.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Oct 17 2009, 6:06 pm
First of all, he is nowhere near 20 lbs. Second of all, the AAP has taken the position that rear facing until 2 years of age is optimal. My 2.5 year old doesn't rear face. It's not cause for an argument, he's not going to turn it around. He's staying rear facing. Would you do something dangerous to your kids because of shalom bayis?

My husband has a minhag to automatically think anything I want to do health or safety wise is crazy & fight with me about it. I don't want them to have junk food, he does. So they get an obscene amount of nosh on shabbos only. We can compromise on most things. This isn't one of them.
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 17 2009, 6:13 pm
Mrs. XYZ wrote:
Why dont you change it youself?


I agree. If it's important enough to you (and I agree with you that it is) then do it yourself. If there is some sort of reason why you physically cannot do it, there are services that will do it for a fee.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Oct 17 2009, 6:19 pm
I will do it myself. But now that he disagrees with me, we have to come to a meeting of the minds. I can't just do it behind his back. I only asked him to do it because we were going on a trip & he was going out to the car. We didn't end up changing it & I was only really changing for his comfort for a long trip. I will have to confront this soon though, because winter is coming & I need room for him to wear a coat.
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