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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
bubby
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 Sun, Nov 15 2009, 10:51 am
| amother wrote: | | My parents asked us to invite about 5 couples to the Bar mitzvahs & about 10 to the weddings in addition to soem relatives that I probably would not have invited otherwise. The friends of my parents are people I have known for a very long time. Do I still have much of a relationship anymore? not really, only when I see them at my parents. But these are people from my past, people who watched me grow up & my parents watched their kids growup. Some of them made sheva brachos for me. Why should I say no to my parents? |
I think that sums it up. I invited a bunch of my parents' friends to my Simcha I made in UK & they were thrilled. I have been invited to my friends' children's simchas & it's very thoughtful. But yes, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask your parents to help if it's more than, say, 2 couples. Or depending on your circumstances.
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shmoozer
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Sun, Nov 15 2009, 10:52 am
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I think everything has middle way. 200 invitations is like inviting for a wedding! I wouldn't invite 200 people to my own ds's bar mitzvah!
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SavtaHelen
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Sun, Nov 15 2009, 11:16 am
I understand the costs involved and the situation where you have a lot of strangers at your simcha. OTOH many of my parents friends, WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN MET ME!! send gifts for all of my grandchildrens' births! So it really is a two way street. On our "street" there is very little "traffic" because my parents live in the States and we moved here a year after our marriage, but if they have any friends in Israel at the time, we have invited them to every simcha. They "suffer" through so many stories and photos of my kids and grandkids, and it makes my parents so happy.
But again, our costs are much lower because our numbers are so much smaller.
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pobody's nerfect
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Sun, Nov 15 2009, 11:27 am
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we invite my grandparents friends to everything, cuz they always send really nice/generous gifts!!
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Tamiri
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Sun, Nov 15 2009, 11:29 am
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My parents' friends are like family to us, as we moved to Israel. I love to have them and my parents love to invite (and pay for) their friends.
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ImaShel
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Sun, Nov 15 2009, 3:04 pm
I think it's lovely, if you can afford it, to invite some of your parents' friends.
For our kids' bar mitzvahs we put the names of the grandparents on the invitation as a recognition that it was their simcha too.
We never asked for nor expected them to pay for any part of it, although they gave a very nice gift.
We did all the inviting and I did ask if there was anyone in particular that they wanted to invite, and, on my own, invited old friends of theirs.
Of course, I did not have to worry about being innundated; since I live in Israel and my parents and most of their friends and relatives are in the US... 
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amother
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Sun, Nov 15 2009, 5:37 pm
| Leafmort wrote: | | I think everything has middle way. 200 invitations is like inviting for a wedding! I wouldn't invite 200 people to my own ds's bar mitzvah! |
We don't send out 200 invitations - we send out way less than 100, even counting all the kids in my sons' classes. It's my MIL who sends out 200.
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amother
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Sun, Nov 15 2009, 9:01 pm
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I posted that my parents invited about 5 couples to bar mitzvah. So I think you need to look at each circumstance. My parents don't live near us. Their friends did end up coming & I am happy. Because they don't live here they aren't too close with many of my friends. They don't even know most of them. What kind of simcha is it when you feel like an outsider. If a ton of relatives would have come it would have been different. My inlaws live near us, they also invite a few friends. With them we see their friends regularly at their house. But it was also nice for them to have their peers to share with. A bar mitzvah or wedding is the nachas we all hope to live to enjoy. Honor your parents & let them enjoy.
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