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Forum -> Children's Health
Dr says hair in son's face will cause him to be cross-eyed
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:17 am
amother wrote:
just my kids learned both at the same time and speak both hebrew and english fluently (and yiddish too), it never was a problem learning two alphabets?


Probably most kids do fine with it, but it can be confusing for some children. BTW, it is great that your kids are fluent in all 3 languages.
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shalhevet




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:18 am
Yes, hair in the eyes can cause a lazy eye. However, it is not going to happen from half an hour. but if the hair is always in the same style, and always covering the same eye for days and weeks it can do damage.

The lazy eye is treated by covering the healthy eye, so that the 'lazy' one has to work. Little children can start to function using just one eye with the brain blocking out the picture the second one sees. But that means things like strabismus (cross-eyes) cause a lazy eye and not the reverse.

Why can't you just put the bangs into a pony tail holder?
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:27 am
shalhevet wrote:
Why can't you just put the bangs into a pony tail holder?


For the third time, sometimes he doesn't let me. Very Happy If I force him, he just rips it out. Usually he doesn't mind. For example, right now he has a pony on top of his head and no hair in his face.

Oh well. Even if he did have hair in his face all the time, he is always pushing it out of the way. I really doubt it could cause any issues. I think it was a weird thing for a doctor to say.


Last edited by BinahYeteirah on Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:40 am; edited 1 time in total
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:39 am
I don't think my tone came across in my first post, so just to be clear, I am not worried about my 4-year-old not knowing the alphabet, either. Very Happy It was just another example of how some doctors seem to see everything in a negative light. Most doctors I see come in the room with a positive attitude that you are a basically fit parent and they go through the required/suggested list of questions just as something to start conversation about any concerns. Others see everything as a developmental deficiency. Like if my kid is shy and doesn't answer questions, the doctor might start acting really concerned, "Can she talk? What is wrong with her?" Or, as happened yesterday, when my son fell down when getting off the examination table, she asked, "Does he always have such problems walking? He knows how to walk?" Rolling Eyes The cross-eyed thing was crazy, though, I thought. At least it isn't totally illogical, according to some of the posts here.
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realeez




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:56 am
chavamom wrote:
Yeah, but think about it this way. When you have a kid who they are *trying* to strengthen a lazy eye - it has to be covered completely and for all waking hours. I don't think "hair in your eyes" is going to cut it. It's very hard to get it to work even when they are using an eye patch!


Not necessarily. My ds just graduated patching after a year of it and he never needed more than a few hours a day and his eyes B"H are pretty much at the same level of vision. I did though always wonder if him ever (not done that often) having hair in his eyes caused it but probably genetics played the biggest role (I had a lazy eye as a kid as did FIL).
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Besiyata Dishmaya




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 1:35 pm
greenfire wrote:
as a person who has a lazy eye amongst other eye issues - I've had trouble with hair in my face ... my eyes are extremely sensitive to even my eyelashes - the edges of my eyeglasses - the edges of contact lenses and bangs on my forehead ...

so in general I don't think it an issue ... but for someone with sensitive eye conditions it can very well be true ...

Oh! So that's really you in your avatar and I always thought it's just a cute image of Mr. Green
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Besiyata Dishmaya




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 1:41 pm
BinahYeteirah wrote:
I don't think my tone came across in my first post, so just to be clear, I am not worried about my 4-year-old not knowing the alphabet, either. Very Happy It was just another example of how some doctors seem to see everything in a negative light. Most doctors I see come in the room with a positive attitude that you are a basically fit parent and they go through the required/suggested list of questions just as something to start conversation about any concerns. Others see everything as a developmental deficiency. Like if my kid is shy and doesn't answer questions, the doctor might start acting really concerned, "Can she talk? What is wrong with her?" Or, as happened yesterday, when my son fell down when getting off the examination table, she asked, "Does he always have such problems walking? He knows how to walk?" Rolling Eyes The cross-eyed thing was crazy, though, I thought. At least it isn't totally illogical, according to some of the posts here.

Beware of this doctor she shouldn't send Social Workers to check up on you, esp. if you're a homeschooler.
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sympa




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 3:21 pm
greenfire wrote:
as a person who has a lazy eye amongst other eye issues - I've had trouble with hair in my face ... my eyes are extremely sensitive to even my eyelashes - the edges of my eyeglasses - the edges of contact lenses and bangs on my forehead ...

so in general I don't think it an issue ... but for someone with sensitive eye conditions it can very well be true ...


Ha! From your avatar, I'd never guess!
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chaylizi




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 3:25 pm
amother wrote:
BinahYeteirah wrote:

The same doctor seemed upset that my 4-year-old does not know her alphabet (we are only doing aleph-bais at this point).

just out of curiosity - is this some sort of minhag or something?
I am an FFB, gre up in NY where there are all types, and except in chassidish circles where the kids speak yiddish only until they learn english at school, I have never ever heard of parents not teaching a 4 year old the ABCs. in israel yes, in america no. is this a shita, like the people on imamother who dont let their kids see animals that we cant eat (not mocking, just had never ever heard of that either til imamother)


my kids don't go to a chassidish school by any means & they don't learn the ABC's until pre-1-a. they only teach the aleph beis to 4 year olds.
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chaylizi




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 3:28 pm
BinahYeteirah wrote:
shalhevet wrote:
Why can't you just put the bangs into a pony tail holder?


For the third time, sometimes he doesn't let me. Very Happy If I force him, he just rips it out. Usually he doesn't mind. For example, right now he has a pony on top of his head and no hair in his face.

Oh well. Even if he did have hair in his face all the time, he is always pushing it out of the way. I really doubt it could cause any issues. I think it was a weird thing for a doctor to say.


will he wear a hat? my brother wouldn't let my mother touch his hair, but for some reason he didn't mind a cap. I'm actually training my ds to tolerate hats now, before his hair is a problem.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 3:39 pm
shalhevet wrote:
Yes, hair in the eyes can cause a lazy eye. However, it is not going to happen from half an hour. but if the hair is always in the same style, and always covering the same eye for days and weeks it can do damage.

The lazy eye is treated by covering the healthy eye, so that the 'lazy' one has to work. Little children can start to function using just one eye with the brain blocking out the picture the second one sees. But that means things like strabismus (cross-eyes) cause a lazy eye and not the reverse.

Why can't you just put the bangs into a pony tail holder?


I remember watching a show before I was frum that talked about some african tribe that considered cross-eyed people to be beautiful. So what they did was attach a string with a small ball to a child's head (maybe with a hat I dont' recall) and it was always hanging there next to their face. After a few years the children became cross-eyed. So like Shalhevet says, it seems that it *could* cause one to become cross-eyed but only if the hair is left there for long periods of time.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 4:37 pm
DS refused to keep anything in his hair - after he had a problem with his eye (hair irritated inside of eye) I trimmed his bangs - no, I did not ask a shailah, but I knew what caused it, knew if it got worse he could chas veshalom seriously injure his eye, and knew that there was no tying back his bangs. So I did it. The rest of his hair stayed long until his upsherin, and the next son I started putting up his bangs before it was even necessary so he was used to it.
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 9:18 pm
shalhevet wrote:
Yes, hair in the eyes can cause a lazy eye. However, it is not going to happen from half an hour. but if the hair is always in the same style, and always covering the same eye for days and weeks it can do damage.

The lazy eye is treated by covering the healthy eye, so that the 'lazy' one has to work. Little children can start to function using just one eye with the brain blocking out the picture the second one sees. But that means things like strabismus (cross-eyes) cause a lazy eye and not the reverse.
Why can't you just put the bangs into a pony tail holder?

This last line is not true. Genetics causes the lazy eye, and once the eye stops working together with its partner, it doesn't always move together wither. It often drifts out, more in some people than in others. My lazy eye only used to drift out occasionally when I was very tired, while my ds's lazy eye is out an awful lot.
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shalhevet




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 18 2009, 10:23 am
The lazy eye is the result of something else - either weak vision in one eye, or cross-eyes so that the brain blocks out one image and one eye stops working, or another eye problem.
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hadasa




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 21 2009, 11:47 pm
A bit of a tangent, but I've read and heard quite a lot about standard tests not being suitable for frum kids. Like the two-year-old who says "Shabbos" for candles, "Kiddush" for a bottle and "Tzedakah" for coins. Or the five-year-old who, when asked what a scale is used for, said "good deeds and bad deeds" (it was Tishrei time). All perfectly normal, of course, but try explaining that to the professionals...
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 21 2009, 11:55 pm
shalhevet wrote:
The lazy eye is the result of something else - either weak vision in one eye, or cross-eyes so that the brain blocks out one image and one eye stops working, or another eye problem.

Ds was a little far sighted in both eyes- there was no weaker eye when one of them decided to become lazy. And he wasn't cross-eyed either, until that left eye became lazy and started drifting out. Now, the vision in his left eye has become weaker because it is not being used.
In fact, his right eye sometimes used to go out when the left one was focused. The eye doc said that means that both eyes see just fine, but the brain figures, why use both when one can work on its own?
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geemum




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 23 2009, 4:49 am
hadasa wrote:
A bit of a tangent, but I've read and heard quite a lot about standard tests not being suitable for frum kids. Like the two-year-old who says "Shabbos" for candles, "Kiddush" for a bottle and "Tzedakah" for coins. Or the five-year-old who, when asked what a scale is used for, said "good deeds and bad deeds" (it was Tishrei time). All perfectly normal, of course, but try explaining that to the professionals...


I dont see why you couldn't explain to the proffessionals. if kids can understand the concepts, why can't they. at least they should know your kid knows the correct answers.

I live in a very jewish area, and all the professionals are used to dealing with us as a group, so most of them already know about shabbos and tsedaka etc.

Back to the question at hand. I agree with the above posters who
a) tie the bangs back early so the child gets used to it from an early age.
b) uses a cap

Teh mother who cut the child's bangs was probably justified to do so. I'm sure the Rov would have agreeed had she asked. Health always comes first in halacha - don't be afraid to ask the rov.
OP what did you do?
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