Evaluation in front of the child

amother

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 7:27 pm

I wasn't sure how to word the title. Hmmm... If your child had some kind of issue, related to health, development, or behavior, that you needed to discuss with a doctor or other professional, did you discuss it in front of the child?

One of my children is going to have an evaluation, but I am not sure I am really comfortable speaking candidly with the doctor in his presence. It seems it is expected to bring him, but how can I be completely honest about certain issues with him there? I don't want him to think I am being critical, but I have to be completely open to get appropriate help.

Is it normal to talk in front of a child in these situations? Anyone care to share their own experiences?

manhattanmom

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 7:46 pm

I'd say to trust your gut feeling. If, like you say feel uncomfortable or inappropriate discussing the matter in your child's presence, then don't.

deams

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 7:57 pm

I agree with you by not wanting to talk while child is in the room. what you can do is bring your child with you. if you want to talk to doctor without him have him wait in the waiting room - if that is possible.

Fox

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 8:03 pm

Obviously, it depends a bit on the age of the child. A two-year-old is a bit different than a ten-year old. But I agree that you should discuss issues with the caregiver privately if the child is older than a toddler.

I generally asked in advance for a private consultation with the doctor prior to the exam. BTW, most of the doctors' offices I went to were completely clueless and unhelpful about this -- I really had to insist on it, and the gatekeepers were none too happy with me. It wasn't their usual procedure, it seems.

the world's best mom

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 8:17 pm

It depends on the kid's age. By the way, I've found my kids pediatricians to be totally clueless about the reasons for evaluating them. I taught one doctor what sensory issues are. He had never heard of them before. Another doctor insisted that there's no reason to get my dd evaluated. When I finally did anyway, she got loads of therapy.

imasinger

Wed, Nov 04 2009, 9:57 pm

I agree that it depends on the age of the child, and how much the child knows of his/her own diagnosis.

In situations like this, I have sometimes handed the doctor a note.

sympa

Sun, Nov 08 2009, 8:45 am

Hm, I think it has more to do with what is being evaluated.
As a child, I would have wanted to be included in any discussion, that's just my personality - I certainly would have wanted to know if I was going to be evaluated and why. However, as a parent, I can see how in certain cases, I would be hesitant to openly discuss an issue in front of a child (even a toddler, by the way) because it might embarrass him/her unnecessarily, or it might skew the evaluation if the kid knows what mom expects the outcome to be.

Once you decide - and don't base it solely on the clinic's general policy - stick to it.

mommy#1

Sun, Nov 08 2009, 9:03 am

depending on the age of the child, after the dr finishes with him, you can tell him to wait in the waiting room with a book while you discuss something with the dr. thats if hes old enough to wait by himself!

miri123

Sun, Nov 08 2009, 9:07 am

If the child is old enoygh to repeat your words even if he doesn't understand what they are, I would send she/he to the waiting room and talk freely with the doc. In fact that is what I always do.

Health is a Virture

Wed, Dec 02 2009, 4:43 pm

I sent my child out of the office and had her color and do whatever while I spoke to the evaluator. the other option is to bring another adult with to sit with your child outside of the office, and then after the evaluator will speak to your child.