Pesach humor | Imamother

amother

Thu, Mar 30 2006, 1:20 pm

The year's at the spring
And day's at the morn;
Seder's at seven;
The eggs are all boiled;
The house is a-sparkling;
My son's hair is shorn;
We’ve burned all our leaven;
All's right with the woild!

Well...soon!

shira

Thu, Mar 30 2006, 2:29 pm

THE CONVERT

Shmulik, a religious Jew as well as a financial genius, left Brooklyn for a job as CFO of a well known brokerage firm in Utah (which is known as the Mormon state).

The pressure on the company president from the directors was immense: "We can't have a Jew running the business - we're religious Mormons here," they said.

The president took Shmulik aside for a talk and explained unequivocally that he would have to convert if he wanted to hold on to his honorable (not to mention 6-figure-earning) position. Shmulik had no choice. However difficult it might be to convert, it was less difficult than losing this great job. He went home and told his wife, "It's simple. >From this Sunday on we'll be going to church with the kids".

So passed a good few months, but his wife wouldn't stop nagging him, saying, "It's so difficult for me, I miss Sabbath, lighting candles, kiddush, festivals...you know money isn't everything, Shmulik"

The more she nagged him, the more Shmulik's conscience bothered him too. Finally, he'd had enough. He went back to the president of the company and said "Listen, I can't go on like this, my guilt is eating me up inside. Money isn't everything. I can't even sleep at night, and neither can my wife. It's too much for me - I was born a Jew, and I want to die a Jew. If you want me to quit, I'll leave without making a fuss."

The president looked at him in amazement and said "Listen Samuel, [that's what they called him in Utah], I had no idea it was so tough for you. I figured changing religions would be a simple thing.? You've been a great asset to the company. We need you here. Stay Jewish as you wish. Don't worry, I'll take care of the rest".

Shmulik went home with a thrill in his heart and a spring in his step. He ran to his wife (who was on the couch watching Ricki Lake) and said "Tzipporah, you won't believe it, a miracle happened! We're going back to being Jews, and it's OK! I talked to my boss and he's letting me keep my job!"

Tzippy (that's what they called her in Brooklyn) looked at him with eyes spitting fire and said "Tell me, ARE YOU NUTS!!!!!

Shmuel looked at her in shock. But...but I thought that was what you wanted all along, what you were crying to me about day and night. What? You don't want to go back to being Jewish?"

Tzippy looked even more upset and said "Of course I do - BUT NOW?!?!?! TWO WEEKS BEFORE PESACH?!?!?!?"

southernbubby

Thu, Mar 30 2006, 2:45 pm

At the time that this happened I wasn't laughing but the morning of bedikas chometz, about 14 yrs ago, 5 of my kids came into my room, lifted their pajama shirts, and showed me their chicken pox. That was some Pesach!

ny21

Thu, Mar 30 2006, 3:13 pm

that was a cute joke LOL

mali

Mon, Apr 10 2006, 4:38 am

a relative of mine slept over last night in "Novotel" in Yerushalayim. they served a very measly breakfast this morning, because they're in middle of changing their kitchen over to pesach. there was hardly anything to eat. so he asked the waiter, "don't you have any eggs, at least?", to which the (arab) waiter replied, "no, they didn't kasher the chickens yet". LOL

rainbow baby

Mon, Apr 10 2006, 5:03 am

Hey Shira you got in before me I was going to use that story in a new thread, anyway just wanted to wish everyone a Happy and enjoyable Peseach, and please everyone do not stress we will all be sitting down at the Sedra come Wednesday night. Very Happy

Help I've still got the Buggies to do, highchairs, cars, fish tank, need to wash the coats, buy the kids clothes............................ HELP Help

rainbow baby

Mon, Apr 10 2006, 5:05 am

southernbubby wrote:

Hey guess what my baby has now got chickenpox having a great few weeks here.