One of my children was diagnosed with cancer

amother

Sun, Jan 24 2010, 7:59 am

I have been a giver all my life. Unfortunately, for the past 20 months, a member of my family is struggling with this awful disease. The amount of Chesed out there is phenomenal. Mekimi has come to my house many times and I marvel how they can amazingly turn a suffering, nauseas patient into a smiling, talking adult with their beautiful heartfelt singing. They have experience how to handle patients and are truly amazing. In NY there are CHESED drivers constantly taking patients and family to treatments and hospitals. There is Bikur cholim that provides food for patients and family. I , too, learned to accept because of the matzav. Hopefully one day I will become a GIVER again.

amother

Mon, Jan 25 2010, 6:41 pm

OP here. Again, thank you for your responses. They really help me feel not so alone. B"H, ba"h, things with my child is going as well as we can hope. The treatments though can be draining on the entire family. B'ezras Hashem, we are told that by the summer, iy"h, we should be in a routine of going for treatment once a month or so. At the moment though, I am also worried about my dh. He seems so focused on our sick child, that he can barely concentrate on the usual daily things. I think that he is suffering from clinical depression. I think that it is easier for women to open up and talk about their feelings. It is definitely more socially acceptable. I have spoken to our Rov and we are trying to get him to talk to someone who can help him. This adds to my stress. I keep telling myself that if C"V my dh was physically sick I wouldn't feel so frustrated with him b/c then he would be more inclined to get treatment. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT want him to be sick, I just want him emotionally whole. He is a terrific husband and father, but I think that he is trying to be Superman and do everything. You know the saying: "Im tofasta meruba, lo tofasta". Well, right now, very little is being "tofasta"ed.