inviting non-Jewish friend to shul

Ima2NYM_LTR

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 3:17 pm

Chocoholic wrote:

Ima2NYM_LTR wrote:

ok, Im outing myself. Im amother.

Spoke to my rav. he said to let him know a few days beforehand and he will be sure to welcome her personally. Which is a big relief because I thought he would (for political, not halachic reasons) say no.

To make the thing complete, invite her for lunch and enjoy.

She will be staying overnight, so she is getting a full shabbos experience. Funny thing is Ill have to be MORE careful with food, because Muslims do not drink alcohol at all, or use it in cooking

Peanut2

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 3:28 pm

Oy!

Synagogues are open to such guests.
The OP's rabbi said it was fine!
And for people who study religion, this is a sociological study. Duh! They're not judging anyone.
Jews aren't singled out here. Religion classes have these kind of assignments all the time.

What are you ladies so scared of? This is super common, and most places of worship and religious leaders, whether Jewish or not, are generally perfectly friendly and welcoming in these situations.

This is just a student who is probably going to write the nicest stuff about her experience. And this student is (probably) taking an introductory level course. This isn't some (imaginary) big bad researcher out to get you.

I strongly recommend that anyone who is upset by this enroll herself in a comparative religion class. Trust me, you will not mind this one bit once you realize that that big bad tiger is a little kitty cat.

Raisin

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 4:17 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

It's lucky that Op's friend found her. If she had found one of us that disapproves, she would not be able to have this experience.

Duh. She wouldn't be friends with someone who dispproves of her.

Mimisinger

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 4:38 pm

Raisin wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

It's lucky that Op's friend found her. If she had found one of us that disapproves, she would not be able to have this experience.

Duh. She wouldn't be friends with someone who dispproves of her.

It's not that people are not approving of HER - they are not approving of the use of shul as the subject of a sociological paper.

saw50st8

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 4:51 pm

amother wrote:

I apologize. I was under the impression that people here follow gemara. If not maybe the Rema: Rema in Orah Hayyim 98:1 “that a father should not kiss his young children in the synagogue”

For halachic purposes, I am pretty sure our "shuls" are not really classified as halachic shuls. Otherwise, even the Rabbis wouldn't be able to speak there.

[I don't have the source on me, but that is what I learnt. Batei Knesset have very strict rules and we build ours on some sort of tnai]

poelmamosh

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 8:58 pm

louche wrote:

I'm sorry, but I think it's wrong, wrong, wrong, no matter who the ladyis, how fine a human being, how respectful or how sincere. A shul is not a sociological exhibit and the worshippers there are not participants in a Tv reality show. To me, inviting such "guests" just to observe out of curiosity or for a class assignment is an invasion of the privacy of the worshippers.

The professor has some nerve giving this kind of assignment, which iat worst places a sort of obligation on the synagogue and at best arrogantly assumes the synagogues will be open to such observation.

And there's another side to these assignments...Jewish students who need to visit other places of worship, some of which we are forbidden to enter by halacha. (yes, this has come up a few times, as shluchim on a college campus)

Ima2NYM_LTR

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 9:11 pm

poelmamosh wrote:

louche wrote:

But this IS part of any comparative theology class. These students cant say they didnt know going in. Now if the collage requires the class, then they obviously dont have a choice.

But what about a mosque. It is the most noachide, it is tznius, separate seating, no chance of avodah zara, etc

mominisrael2

Mon, Jan 25 2010, 3:51 am

As long as she's respectful...we used to have a J4J woman come to my shul and sit in the back of the women's section listening to her walkman littering her pamphlets all over the place, and for some reason the rabbi was too nice to kick her out, she might have been homeless or insane, I don't know. This went on for months until one shabbos the police finally came in and arrested her...

mominisrael2

Mon, Jan 25 2010, 5:13 am

Chocoholic wrote:

I have invited and will keep inviting people who are sincerely interested in attending a shabbos shul service... Why not?

I don't think I've ever invited a non-Jewish friend to shul, but once invited a friend to a shabbos meal -- we had a fascinating discussion comparing our religions and services, he was very respectful of our rituals and he came away with a great impression of Orthodox Judaism...

Besiyata Dishmaya

Mon, Jan 25 2010, 7:45 am

mominisrael2 wrote:

If you have to be careful to put the wine away, how does one make kiddush with a non-Jewish guest at the table?

Ima2NYM_LTR

Mon, Jan 25 2010, 9:01 am

Besiyata Dishmaya wrote:

mominisrael2 wrote:

If you have to be careful to put the wine away, how does one make kiddush with a non-Jewish guest at the table?

Well when my friend comes, since Muslims never drink alcohol anyway, it is doubly important not to have any wine out. But we have the tradition of making kiddush on grape juice anyway so....

Mrs Bissli

Mon, Jan 25 2010, 9:46 am

Besiyata Dishmaya wrote:

mominisrael2 wrote:

If you have to be careful to put the wine away, how does one make kiddush with a non-Jewish guest at the table?

You have to be careful with the wine with non-observant jews alike. Either use mevushal, or if using non-mevushal, keep the bottle very close and guarded either by you or DH. This happens occasionally in our house (mostly with jewish guests who may not be shomer shabbat) and DH usually announces he's serving as a sommelier for the evening. If we have a help in the kitchen/serving, she knows not to touch the wine.