is it ayin hara to buy baby gear b4 babys born?

Tova

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 10:27 pm

chaylizi wrote:

at the risk of having rotten tomatoes thrown at me, I will say that statistics don't help you. You become part of a statistic after the fact. How comforting is it to the many women who have miscarriages in the first trimester, that they are part of an extreme minority? Even so, 10% is 10 out of every 100 women, & that adds up to thousands of women in the general population.

Why rotten tomatoes? I think this is an interesting discussion...

In terms of risk of miscarriage, you are preaching to the choir - I was VERY anxious of that, as I posted. But, the most healthy attitude is to consider yourself and think of yourself as pregnant w/ a baby to show for it at the end. And if it does ch"v happen, you do deal with it in retrospect. And yes, if I had a miscarriage it would be VERY comforting for me to know that statistically the majority of women go on to carry healthy pregnancies. So I think the statistics do have a big place.

We obviously disagree here, but that's OK!

Tova

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 10:33 pm

chaylizi wrote:

Mimisinger wrote:

I had a Rav in E"Y who davka set up a nursery so Hashem would give them someone to put into it. And, at last count they had 10 so, it must work...

That is really interesting.

This is a classic eitzah for people "waiting"...a couple for a child, an older single for their bashert.

The difference is that you set up the nursery before being pregnant. Or buy a tallis while NOT dating seriously dating anyone. I have read about this often, and in all cases it was before the happy event was even rolled into motion and I don't think anyone would hold of ayin hara in that case. As I understand it, it is a tangible way to express your emunah in H' that the long-awaited event will happen. And also (my shitta here) to get yourself in the right psychological mindset for it and make yourself open to H's bracha.

[One more thing, and that's probrably enough personal disclosure here--- when I was waiting to get pregnant with my first, I also occasionally bought baby items and also maternity clothes. I got a really great shirt from Target that I ended up getting a lot of use of when I b"H got pregnant. So a pregnant friend asked me where I got that great shirt and I answered "Target." The next time I saw her she said that she checked the local Target as well as the one 30 minutes away and couldn't find it anywhere! embarrassed

Uh oh. Didn't think to say I had gotten it at Target a couple of years previously!]

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Feb 03 2010, 9:01 am

chaylizi wrote:

FS, all you need is a 2nd baby that is a different gender or birthday season & you will need to shop for something. I got lucky. My first 2 were girls & were born February/March. My son couldn't use a single thing I owned from either of them. He is a boy & he is born in October.

3 kids, 3 sets of clothing!
July boy, January boy -- my July boy needed basically onesies only, but I needed sleepers for my January baby.
Then I had a girl. Very Happy

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Feb 03 2010, 9:10 am

Personally, for my first I went to the local baby store and was able to "reserve" a car seat and snap n go for after the baby is born (store is no longer around).
A few other items I made on a list for my husband -- pac n play, etc; things I felt we needed right away. He supplemented with a pack of cloth diapers (junky Gerber ones) for spit up, a few undershirts, etc that I didn't really care what they looked like....and the rest we got later on as necessary.

My next 2 were homebirths so we had to prepare in advance more. Not so much -- just some diapers, etc.., and I let my husband buy sleepers after the babies were born and we knew what we needed (blue or pink Tongue Out

)
If my first had been a homebirth, I would have bought the carseat beforehand just in case it was necessary CH"V to seek medical help before we had it installed. My husband now can install carseats and he installs the baby carseat after the baby is born, but we have it from previous kids. Oh! Actually, that's not so true.
I got a new infant carseat between my second and third for various reasons and I did have that come to my home about a month before I was due. We put it in storage though.
And I bought a second hand wind up swing when pregnant with my third because I felt I finally needed somewhere other than the floor to put my baby down with 2 boys who like to run around...I davka wanted a wind up and so I got it when it was available and just left it at my in-laws' house.
Double stroller I got after my second was born; I really didn't need it right away as it was January.; it waited a couple of weeks..I did go out with my kids Shabbos 6 days after my daughter was born, but the weather was much nicer...