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Forum -> The Social Scene -> Chit Chat
TV show: "Shalom in the Home"
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Inspired




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 2:26 am
supermom wrote:
When you put in emoticons you are expressing yourself more. I don't see anything wrong with it though. I actually like it. When I am shocked to hear something in real life yes you will see my eyes bulging out.


Ok. But, *to me* 3 times along with 3 eyerolls is just extreme it can come across as mocking and obnoxious, not genuine expression. Just so you know.
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 8:45 am
thats because you dont know Tefila Smile
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shayna82




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 8:54 am
ruth wrote:
BlumaG wrote:
its such a shame, I used to tutor his oldest daughter in UK and she was having such a difficult time in elementary school bco f his beleifs Sad


I agree with the others -- this is a breach of shmiras halashon and confidentiality. Shame on you to post this.


total lashon harah, nothing is being settled in this thread, nor has anyone come to any understanding.
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 8:57 am
dleah wrote:
Quote:
its such a shame, I used to tutor his oldest daughter in UK and she was having such a difficult time in elementary school bco f his beleifs


sad for the school I think. poor middos in treating his family differently.


It's not poor middos. He is a smart guy and knew just what he was getting into with the direction he's taken. Lots of people would feel uncomfortable knowing that their child was in class with a child whose father watches men massaging their unclothed wives on television, among other things.

SB's children are probably not bad children, but they are exposed to things that most frum kids aren't exposed to, and that could be problematic.
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chen




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 9:17 am
Motek wrote:
Pardon my abysmal ignorance but why would a husband be massaging his naked wife in the presence of another man and on TV? Confused


and why would the wife agree? why would anyone do any of the stuff some ppl do on TV, including but not limited to having their surgery or childbirth filmed, or their face, body, house or finances made over? It's called "exhibitionism" and takes many forms. Sometimes there is also a financial incentive, as the participants may get to keep the clothes, surgery, furnishings and so on.
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Chani




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 9:19 am
Just one question about this thread: Don't the laws of lashon hara apply here? Is SB not still a Jew? My understanding is that even lashon hara which is well known is not permitted to be repeated. Is there any benefit to anyone by this thread? Are we increasing anyone's torah observance? Are we going to somehow engage in a meaningful dialogue with SB? If not, then I can't imagine the circumstances underwhich many of these posts are consistent with halacha... Aren't we above this, ladies?
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shayna82




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 9:26 am
Crayon210 wrote:
dleah wrote:
Quote:
its such a shame, I used to tutor his oldest daughter in UK and she was having such a difficult time in elementary school bco f his beleifs


sad for the school I think. poor middos in treating his family differently.


It's not poor middos. He is a smart guy and knew just what he was getting into with the direction he's taken. Lots of people would feel uncomfortable knowing that their child was in class with a child whose father watches men massaging their unclothed wives on television, among other things.

SB's children are probably not bad children, but they are exposed to things that most frum kids aren't exposed to, and that could be problematic.


so you could say the same thing about kids whose parents run chabad houses.those children are also exposed to things that other kids arent exposed to on a daily basis. is that also problamatic??? Confused
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 9:33 am
No.

It's different because Chabad Houses don't have nude massages, Michael Jackson, or other such events and guests.

Do you honestly think that a child who is brought up knowing that we keep Shabbos even though our guests don't has had the same experiences as a child whose father publicly watches men massage their undressed wives?
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shayna82




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 9:36 am
at age five or six, no they dont know the difference.as they get older maybe. both cases have similaritys in the sense that theirparents are hanging around people "not like us" and need extra education and explanation on these matters.b
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supermom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 9:52 am
I don't understand something why doesn't a rav ban him or something. How can this be allowed isn't it chillul Hashem? Something has to be done and any normal Rabbi should be able to put a stop to his tv shows.
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 10:00 am
shayna82 wrote:
at age five or six, no they dont know the difference.


Really? I have found that to not be the case.

Quote:
both cases have similaritys in the sense that theirparents are hanging around people "not like us" and need extra education and explanation on these matters.b


There's a big difference between parents who are involved in teaching Jews about Judaism parents who are involved in commercializing and pop culture.
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shayna82




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 10:01 am
its not our place to discuss bringing down a mans parnasa, if you dont like it, dont watch it, you cant change the world by saying lashon harah on imamother.
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 10:10 am
But he causes immense chillul Hashem! We should allow someone to get parnasa through disgracing Hashem's Name?

(I'm not saying that a discussion on imamother.com is necessary to combat the chillul Hashem, though some people might be unaware of just how unmainstream he is.)
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shayna82




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 11:03 am
crayon can you explain what exactly he is causing chillul Hashem with? and why its disgracing hashems name?
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JRKmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 11:12 am
1. The content of a TV show is a fair topic for discussion. However, any discussion of his personal life and speculation re his motives, may be in the realm of LH.

2. His wife and children are not public figures, and we have absolutely no business discussing them.

3. I am concerned that some really critical comments may be made by people who haven't actually seen the show. SB is a Jew, and deserves to be judged favorably, and on only the most accurate information. Hearing someone else's review of a show on the internet is not the same thing as seeing it for yourself.

4. I happened to watch the "massage" episode. My memory may not be perfect, but I don't recall that SB was actually in the same room with the woman. I should also point out the larger picture - a married couple, with children, asked for helped (and agreed to be on a TV show where they would be filmed constantly) because they hadn't had relations since their youngest child was born and were barely speaking to each other. The tension between the parents was affecting the children. By the end of the episode, the parents were getting along well and the father had also mended fences with his own father. You may agree or disagree with SB's particular advise/methods in this episode, but any judgment needs to be based upon the true, full picture.

5. Anyone making a claim that something is a "chillul Hashem" should (a) have actually seen the show in question, and (b) be in a position to know what non-frum Jews and non-Jews who see the show think about it.

In North America, non-Jews and non-frum Jews don't think twice about seeing casual physical contact between men and women.

The show is about taking families with problems, and trying to help them. It's a noble goal. The show is somewhat different from other "reality" shows in that it doesn't try to put people down, but tries to appeal to their more noble side. The show generally shows that he gets what's wrong with the families, does his best to help them out, and they are usually better off afterward than they were before. Not all his ideas work, of course, and not all problems are solved, but he is portrayed as helpful and well-meaning overall.

To the outside world, he's simply seen as a rabbi helping families get along.
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shayna82




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 11:15 am
yes, I def. agree that anyone who hasnt seen the show has no buisness saying anything about him in a not nice light.
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Yael




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 14 2006, 11:55 am
If anyone has anything constructive to add they may pm me.
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