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How much help do you get from your pediatrician?
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small bean




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 10:03 am
sorry manhattanmom but I disagree. everytime there's a recall it's in the local lakewood papers - so your friends might not read anything at all... but most woman in lakewood are educated. beside my peditrician hangs up signs in the office letting you know of such things.

I love my pediatrician he has time for me. he calls me the next day many times to follow up on my kid... etc.
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SivanMom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 10:08 am
First of all, 15 words at 17 months sounds perfectly fine, especially if she keeps picking up more words. Most important is that she understands what you are saying.

As for doctors, I remember feeling a bit frustrated with my pediatrician when DS was a baby for similar reasons that you say. It turns out that experience really does make a huge difference. After lots of calls to family and the peds office when necessary, you sort of get the hang of things. You also figure out what questions to ask. Also, try to schedule well visits at the least busy time of day, earlier is usually better, so the doctor can give you all the time you need. Write down your questions beforehand. You may feel stupid taking the paper out, but it's so easy to forget everything you wanted to ask.

My doctor in Lakewood knows not only my kids' names on sight, he even knows who all my siblings and nieces and nephews are, even though none of us have the same last names. The other day, I was telling him that DS was tired a lot and he said, let's have some bloodwork done, your nephew has mono. Also, if I take one of my kids for a visit, he'll often ask me how things worked out with a previous issue with my other kid.

For one month earlier this year I was between insurances so I went to a different doctor. We had three visits and saw three different doctors. With two of them, I felt that I had to give them suggestions about what was wrong with my kid, instead of the other way around. I was not confident in them at all. If it had been when DS was a baby, I would not have walked out of the room feeling that I had gotten the care I needed. Luckily, in both cases I knew what was wrong before I took them because we had dealt with it earlier.

I think you have to go with your gut. If you feel they are not attentive enough, find a different doctor. But also keep in mind that being a first time parent is hard, and as time goes on you'll really get the hang of it (and pretty soon someone will be calling you for advice on how to deal with a rash).
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 10:14 am
estibesty wrote:
theres a dr group here in lakewood the dr sees about 20 kids in 10 minutes no kidding each kid gets about 30 to 60 SECONDS of his ATT and they do not weigh the kids at each visit it is sooo impersonal but this dr. has the largest following here in town
Because everyone thinks they must go to him.
Not because he's the best doctor, necessarily.
I have 2 brothers in law there who each have a different ped for their kid.
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small bean




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 10:17 am
btw dr. shanik (we might as well use names) is an exellent doc. he might not give you as much time as you need - but he is an exellent doc. there are 5 ped. groups in lakewood and their all pretty full.

estibesty just bec. you weren't happy there doesnt mean that it's a horrible place.

that being said I use gittleman - but he's hard to get into bec. his practice is usually closed to new patients.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 10:31 am
estibesty wrote:
theres a dr group here in lakewood the dr sees about 20 kids in 10 minutes no kidding each kid gets about 30 to 60 SECONDS of his ATT and they do not weigh the kids at each visit it is sooo impersonal but this dr. has the largest following here in town


I think I use this dr. And I think he is fantastic. I have never been rushed out of an appointment.
The dr has always taken his time to explain things to me.
When I call with a problem I get a call back immediately or am told to come in right away.
I have gotten follow up calls from the office for incidents, where I was not expecting it or asked for it. Was given the drs beeper when he was on vacation and it was an hour before shabbos and I wasn't sure if my son had a concusion.
My child once had dots on his stomach. After I brought him in and it was nothing the dr had someone call me before shabbos and tell me to come to his home if xyz changes.
I have never gone in and not had a dr weight my child. The nurses are even great and sweat and friendly and put my children at ease. (the secretaries not so much)
My SIL's daughter had a broken arm. They called her multiple times in the ER and during surgery and once a day for the next few days.
If anything I think they are very on top of what goes on

[And if he has to send someone straight to CHOP he has food, cellphones, and money to send with them to the hospital.]

We chose him because dh went to him as a child, but I think he is very on top of the situation and always gives me great feedback.
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curlytop




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 10:41 am
I feel like it takes a while to find a pediatrician that you are happy with. Everything is about relationships and feeling comfortable with the situation.
I was not happy with my first pediatrician, I felt that his methods were antiquated and his office was stuck in 1970. He actually gave me a medicine that another dr told me they dont use any more since they discovered it CH"V can have terrible side effects.

That being said, I am part of a practice, about 4-5 drs, but I have relationships with 2 or 3 of them. I am not sure if they remember my kids names, but they definitely remember their issues and are super nice. I had a Friday night visit to one of them and he was so warm and caring I don't think I will ever forget it. He also sent me to a specialist for one of my children, and when I saw him in the hallway of the office a couple of months later, he asked me what happened at the specialist.
Another time I called at 11.30pm since my daughter woke up with a strange rash. The dr called me back immediately and was extremely helpful. The next morning at 9am the dr called again to check if the rash went away! I feel like they really care.

I just hope the practice doesnt get too big for itself.

It really depends what you are looking for in a pediatrician. Sounds like you are looking for someone a little more involved in your child's developments.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 10:53 am
sporty wrote:
Amother - it's awkward as our pediatrician is a family friend. A CLOSE family friend.

itsallgood - thanks. It has passed now B"H and it was apparently the coxaskie (sp?) virus. Not sure how she picked it up but it was brutal....

I guess maybe being a mom is about independence however I just feel alone and unknowledgeable and unsure of what is right. I need guidance - frequently.
That can be very awkward. I am really sorry that you are in this situation.
We have a family friend who is a pediatrician. A really good diagnostician. My sister used him when he had her first, and continued to use him for quite a few years. She ended up really disliking his office staff and some of his own attitude and when she decided to leave it was pretty messy. My other sister still uses this ped, and is generally happy because she uses his other practitioner there.
When I gave birth to my child I decided not to use our family friend as our ped, because I didn't want to start any problems. Also if I ever need him he can be there for me. But if I have a falling out with him it is likely that he won't be there for me.
I decided not to mix business with pleasure and found myself another doctor. Nothing against him.
(I am the same way with my SIL who is a shaytal macher. I don't use her because I am very particular and even though she is phenomenal I don't want to start using her and then stop if I have an issue. That would be insulting to her. I very much believe in keeping business and family/friends separate.)
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manhattanmom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 12:50 pm
small bean wrote:
sorry manhattanmom but I disagree. everytime there's a recall it's in the local lakewood papers - so your friends might not read anything at all... but most woman in lakewood are educated. beside my peditrician hangs up signs in the office letting you know of such things.

I love my pediatrician he has time for me. he calls me the next day many times to follow up on my kid...
etc.


I wasn't making a statement--I was asking if pediatriciansin Lakewood do that. Thanks for answering me.
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estibesty




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 2:52 pm
sky wrote:
estibesty wrote:
theres a dr group here in lakewood the dr sees about 20 kids in 10 minutes no kidding each kid gets about 30 to 60 SECONDS of his ATT and they do not weigh the kids at each visit it is sooo impersonal but this dr. has the largest following here in town


I think I use this dr. And I think he is fantastic. I have never been rushed out of an appointment.
The dr has always taken his time to explain things to me.
When I call with a problem I get a call back immediately or am told to come in right away.
I have gotten follow up calls from the office for incidents, where I was not expecting it or asked for it. Was given the drs beeper when he was on vacation and it was an hour before shabbos and I wasn't sure if my son had a concusion.
My child once had dots on his stomach. After I brought him in and it was nothing the dr had someone call me before shabbos and tell me to come to his home if xyz changes.
I have never gone in and not had a dr weight my child. The nurses are even great and sweat and friendly and put my children at ease. (the secretaries not so much)
My SIL's daughter had a broken arm. They called her multiple times in the ER and during surgery and once a day for the next few days.
If anything I think they are very on top of what goes on

[And if he has to send someone straight to CHOP he has food, cellphones, and money to send with them to the hospital.]

We chose him because dh went to him as a child, but I think he is very on top of the situation and always gives me great feedback.



ok until you use a diff. dr.a nd see what nice and unrushed is then you will relize how badly you are treated there. but hands down he is a top fantastic dr. in knowledge.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 2:56 pm
My dr. does the same by check ups. He checks the basics, asks a few questions, and we leave. I use my motherly gut and educated myself as much as possible. I read parent magazines and find them helpful. Also, as time goes on you will feel more experienced. 15 words at 17 months is not that little. What is more important at this age is that she understands what you tell her.
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drumjj




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 3:18 pm
my dr isnt a pediatrician but a general dr, in the uk we dont see pediatricians on a regular basis but I agree with you sporty. I think my dr is good but he doesnt check for any abnormal things. if this daughter was my first I would have thought most things with her are normal bec he thinks because developmentally she is normal she is fine. I asked when she was very young for her to have a hearing test and she cant hear properly so I told him she is having tubes so he said really what so young so I said yes thats what the ENT said so he said she can hear watch ill call her name, well he did and she didnt hear so then he agreed (well after 3 ear infections in five weeks) and it took me seeing 4 drs 2 of them privately for a dr to actually look at my daughter, listen to what I had to say about her issues and refer me to the ppl that she needs to be seen by. I have learnt by this that its very important to be persisitant even if your dr thinks u are a hypercondriac like mine does.
and about the 15 words I think its pretty normal, my daughter says about two and she is the same age as yours.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 3:22 pm
After over 14 years of Im sorry to call "verbal abuse" by a pediatrician who was so full himself, he felt that he could be rude, demeaning, condescending, had a "holier than thou" attitude, couldnt come to the fun "because he way too busy".....................and he had a great reputation for being a great diagnostician even though he missed something very obvious on DC...



I finally broke free................... and it feels great!

It wasnt easy, but I did it!
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sporty




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 3:49 pm
Well thanks for all the replies.
And thanks so much to those who addressed the speech - my SIL recalled that her now 4 year old was speaking a lot more at 15 months than my dd so she was concerned for us but I do feel reassured since my dd understands everything.
There is a pediatric group near where I live that I have heard rave reviews about.
Maybe I should just go meet and have a consultation with them? Is that something people do when they are considering to switch doctors?
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Annie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 4:06 pm
You can always go talk to doctors, although often times they'll want to schedule those meetings when they're done with patients.

My experience has been that I need to feel comfortable with the doctor I use, and at least some of the other doctors in the practice. We switch insurance about 4 years ago, and had to switch peds. I switched to the very convenient (Sunday walk in hours, early am walk-in, about 1.5 mile from my house) dr. that at least half the community used. He was great and my kids loved him. The problem was that I didn't love the nurses, hated the whole lab thing and really disliked that I was always told to go to sick call and that "my" doctor was NEVER on sick call. I felt like the other doctors had seem my kids more than their doctor.

So, when my baby was born we switched back to our old practice (who were now covered by insurance), and even though the wait is often longer, and they're farther away from my house, I feel like I am using a practice where they know my kids (all 4 of the doctors know my kids), the receptionist knows me and my kids' names and asks about them when I call with a question, and I have a doctor that I am comfortable talking to. I firmly believe that I would not still be breastfeeding dd if I had been with the other practice. They also put the doctor on the phone when I have a question, not the nurse.

You have to go with your gut, and you also probably need a pediatrician that is used to new moms and will explain stuff to you and pay attention to your concerns.

Good luck.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 4:59 pm
sporty wrote:
Well thanks for all the replies.
And thanks so much to those who addressed the speech - my SIL recalled that her now 4 year old was speaking a lot more at 15 months than my dd so she was concerned for us but I do feel reassured since my dd understands everything.
There is a pediatric group near where I live that I have heard rave reviews about.
Maybe I should just go meet and have a consultation with them? Is that something people do when they are considering to switch doctors?
Yes, people definately go meet doctors to see if they match up.
I know someone who hopped along for her friend's child's ped appt while she was pregnant, to see what the doctor was like and meet him/her.
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Mommeeeeeeee!




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2010, 5:19 pm
I understand what you're saying, sporty. I'm in a similar situation. My ped does strictly medical stuff, nothing else - no input on other issues, like safety, development, baby care, hygiene and so on. He doesn't tell you when they need well visits, will weigh them and record their weight but not tell me unless I ask, and doesn't do anything with the information to see if their growth is ok unless I ask. But, he's the absolute best diagnostician in the area and if one of my kids is ch'v unwell there's no one I'd trust sooner to figure out what's wrong with them and what to do about it. That's why I make it my business to read loads and educate myself on all the other stuff so I'll know when I need to ask a question, but entrust their medical care to the doctor who's best at it.
With my first baby I felt kind of abandoned when I'd bring her in terribly sick and be dismissed with a "it's just a virus, it'll pass, nothing to do about it", but now I realize that the doctor really knows what he's talking about and if there were anything else going on medically he'd be first to figure it out. So for me, that knowledge makes it worth it to continue seeing this doctor and I'm happy to put in the effort to figure everything else out on my own.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 29 2010, 10:23 am
sporty wrote:
I am not an experienced mom. I get the baby center emails to tell me what milestones my kids should be hitting but I feel like I just do not have a clue.
I am not sure if this is something my pediatrician should be guiding me on more.
When my dd had a bad virus last week I felt clueless what to do for her. She wasn't eating, her stomach was upset...all she would drink was milk and I tried water, juice (which she never drinks and refused) soup...nothing worked. I called my pediatrician a few times and was just told over and over by the nurse there is nothing to do. I felt like I was given no guidance - who could have told me go get ices, try acidopholus for the tummy or any other valuable suggestions to try to get her to ingest some liquids? I know a lot is common sense but this was my FIRST time ever dealing with a sick child. I do not have the mommy remedies down pat. When she broke in a horrible rash I called again but they didn't want to see her, they said it will pass with the virus.....and it did. But during the few days she had it I was scared and had no idea what I was dealing with.

And now my SIL has mentioned she is surprised my dd doesn't speak more. She is 17 months. It never occurred to me that she may be delayed. I would NOT know and I would think this is something my pediatrician should be checking at our well visits?

What do your dr.'s do at well visits - mine basically do weight and height and then check ears, throat etc. and then look at a sheet and ask does the child do this this this and checks it off and then we leave.

For now I am not overly concerned about the speech - dd has a vocabulary of about 15 words. And every week or so she seems to pick up on a new word. I think it's okay.....but I feel like I do not at all if it is and I am sad and feel lost.


I agree that your ped should be telling you what to feed your child and what not when sick. The women answering the phone will say like give lots of rice, bananas. Cut down on juice. Make sure lots of liquid. If there is a rash they will ask if you used new detergent, new food, size or shape of the rash. If it is itchy they will recommend a cream. Typically they will not recomment stuff like acidopholus, I don't know why, but its not their style.

Regarding the speech, at checkups they will ask what is the size of their vocabulary, does he say his name, etc. I think they can only find an issue based on how you answer. I do think it is hard for a peditrician to really know were your child is at, because typically they are not talking to them. I would hope the ped is asking you age appropriate speech questions to make sure the child is were they should be.

Regarding the feeling lost with speech, I know what you mean. My son is now 4 and has a problem with how clear his speech is. He is my oldest and I have no clue were he should be. He has always been late with everything, and my dr was very fine with that, because I think that is his nature. But once his teacher brought it to my attention I made an appointment to speak to them. They sent me for a hearing test and have now recommended speech. Its so hard not knowing what is the correct place to be at.
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