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-> Interesting Discussions
rainbow baby
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 Sun, Oct 03 2010, 8:13 pm
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Just a quick question why when a person is alive do we say Bas or Ben mothers name but when they die we say Bas or Ben fathers name.
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louche
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Sun, Oct 03 2010, 8:38 pm
You use mother's name only when praying for Middat haRachamim iow when person is sick or in danger. for all other situations, use father's name. reason is to incur Middat rachamim, KBH should have mercy on the person for sake of mother, who will be more distressed by her child's trouble than the father would be.
if a person is using solely mother's name all the time, possibly father is not jewish, or father's jewish name not known and they think they can't use a non-jewish name. But if they don't know father's Hebrew name, they CAN say "eliezer ben Steven".
Last edited by louche on Sun, Oct 03 2010, 8:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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wanderer
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Sun, Oct 03 2010, 9:08 pm
Interesting louche. My memory's a bit vague, but I remember learning something to the effect of that when a person is in this world, we use the mother's name; for, if not for Chava, there would be no death in this world. Once the person has passed, we use the father's name, because we don't want to even allude to sin with the name of the niftar.
But like I said, my memory's a bit hazy and I'm not sure how accurate I'm repeating what I was told. And anyway, I like your answer much better 
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louche
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Sun, Oct 03 2010, 9:44 pm
| colorful! wrote: | Interesting louche. My memory's a bit vague, but I remember learning something to the effect of that when a person is in this world, we use the mother's name; for, if not for Chava, there would be no death in this world. Once the person has passed, we use the father's name, because we don't want to even allude to sin with the name of the niftar.
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That would make wonderful sense if we used the person's mother's name when calling him up to the Torah, on the ketubah, or mentioning the name in Mi sheberach laOleh laTorah. Fact is, we use the father's name except when saying tehillim or making a mi sheberach laCholeh or other prayer when a person is in serious distress.
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wanderer
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Sun, Oct 03 2010, 9:57 pm
| louche wrote: |
That would make wonderful sense if we used the person's mother's name when calling him up to the Torah, on the ketubah, or mentioning the name in Mi sheberach laOleh laTorah. Fact is, we use the father's name except when saying tehillim or making a mi sheberach laCholeh or other prayer when a person is in serious distress. |
Well, then I guess you could also use the same argument and say that there would be no distress if Chava hadn't sinned and caused the expulsion from gan eden.
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Ruchel
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Mon, Oct 04 2010, 5:15 am
That's what I learned.
Dh learnes you use father's name unless really the person is really in bad shape already.
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