waiting for the other shoe to drop

amother

Tue, Oct 19 2010, 12:44 pm

I would describe myself as a happy person.

I love life, I love MY life, I love every part of it, and rarely rarely rarely want parts of other people's life.

I am not trying to be egotistical here but if other's had my life they'd have what to complain about, I think people look at me and say "poor her, bla bla bla" but I dont care because I truly love my life, appreciate my life and am grateful for it.

I am also a grandchild of the holocaust and of course I am Jewish and aware of the hardships that we as a people have gone through.

I feel like lately I'm always waiting for "the other shoe to drop". Maybe by thinking this way I am not as happy as I think, however, I dont view this as unhappy but just being realistic or prepared.

what are your thoughts on this? how can I get myself to stop focusing on the other shoe or even giving it time in my brain to be thought about?

amother

Tue, Oct 19 2010, 1:41 pm

on a personal level.

maybe that is my problem that I should be viewing the shoe to drop in the national sense (since as jews we've been so comfortable in galus, etc) and not assuming that the shoe has to drop in my personal life.

I guess another aspect of my question is, we know that we want punishment in this world so in the next we can just have our reward, but if we live life accepting "the punishment" and not viewing it as such and just saying "Gam Zu L'Tovah" do we still deserve punishment in the next world because we didnt suffer the negative parts of the punishment in this world?

PinkFridge

Tue, Oct 19 2010, 1:48 pm

Hashem loves you. He's your greatest cheerleader and wants what's best for you. Most people are living with an unparalleled level of menuchas hanefesh these days, and it doesn't mean we're taking life for granted so Hashem will take it away for us to learn whatever lesson we have to learn. Just like a parent enjoys seeing their kids enjoy all the good things they provide for them, so Hashem enjoys seeing us enjoy the riches He's given us. (Of course just like parents don't like seeing their kids use the toy box as a weapon against their younger siblings, etc. etc.)

Is this a good start? This may have sounded like it came more from the heart than the intellect but this too me is a most logical way to go through life.

amother

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 11:13 am

Expect problems, they're part of life. Just pray that Hashem should only give you temporary problems, those come and go. The permanent ones are the scary ones and our actions determine who gets those.

PinkFridge

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 1:58 pm

amother wrote:

There is the principle that when a person experiences tzaros he should review his actions, but we aren't neviim nor do we have them. Rarely can one make such correlations. Books (kosher ones), CDs (ditto) and more have been devoted to helping us live with the concept of Tzaddik v'ra lo and still maintain our love for Hashem.

amother

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 3:07 pm

OP here,

thanks for your comments.

so I am the type of person who does look at Hashem's decisions as reasons to fix myself.

For example, there were many deaths in our community lately and I found a "reason" for them and have been working on myself in that manner. Of course that doesnt mean that is WHY Hashem caused those tzaros just that I took something upon myself to correct myself to try and correct the reason why it was given in the first place.

PinkFridge

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 3:28 pm

I remember how years ago there was a slew of tzaros in our community and a chashuv visitor came to speak and be mechazek. He spoke about saying brachos and saying amein, as a concrete positive step we could take to improve and be a zechus for the cholim and others, r"l, and how amein would be a boost to our emuna which was surely taking a beating in such difficult times. This kind of approach resonates with me.