were you emotional at your sons bris

MaBelleVie

Tue, Oct 19 2010, 11:29 pm

louche wrote:

Not really, no, but I did suffer sympathy pangs for the poor little tyke who was about to be slashed. I couldn't be in the room. Ouch, I wince even now, just thinking about it. Even "knowing"--b/c everyone tells you--it hurts you more than it hurts him. *

*I don't actually believe that for a second.

My son's mohel claimed that he was crying from hunger, not from pain Rolling Eyes

Yeah, cuz he realized that minute how hungry he was, right?

He also told me- which makes sense- that the actual bris doesn't hurt that much; it's like cutting your finger when you're chopping veggies. Afterward is when the pain kicks in, and it's the same way with the bris. That helped in the moment, but for the next week I just felt so sorry for my poor little baby whose cut was hurting.

Anyway, I cried like a baby at the bris. But then, my first few weeks pp was basically one long crying jag, so. . .

Ruchel

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 7:24 am

Babies are much less sensitive to pain than us! Even a 2 year old's skin is not quite as innerved as ours. My dd had varicella at 2. The pharmacist said it's a LUCK to have it so young! and guess what she wasn't even itchy, just a bit tired.

Meanwhile I had it at 4 or so, and it was horrible!! and dh had it at 7 or so and it was HELLISH.

My dd had the mandatory blood tests a few days after birth, at the hospital. She didn't make a sound. It can actually be dangerous because a baby can hurt himself and not feel it! It happened to my mom who scratched herself and bled a ton and didn't even wake up!

Btw babies cry at bris because they hate when people take off their clothes.

Sources: mohelim, doctors

sleepwalking

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 7:43 am

B"h that we don't go to the bris. I would be shrieking there!!!! leave my baby alone!!!! LOL

By DS1 we only knew at 12 that by 1.30 the bris is going to be so I didn't have time to think about it, and I was so happy!!!

By DS2 I was more or less ready for it.

Brown

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 9:24 am

We sit in a separate room and daven. Definately emotional. Helps a ton having a good, sensitive mohel. The best advice I got for the hours afterward were to try burping the baby. Sometimes they cried a drop but swallowed air and continue crying from stomach pain. B"h my boys really stopped crying once they were burped and healed in one day. This generation doesn't need bandage changing etc. so diapers are also not a problem. Check with your own mohel of course. By one son I called the mohel a few hours after the bris to ask about the tylenol and he told me that the baby was fussy from stomach pain when he checked him the day before the bris and that if he wet one diaper since, to lay him on his stomach. Baby stopped crying and was fine from then on b"h.

myself

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 2:40 pm

Raisin wrote:

The worst is not the bris - it's that they keep the poor thing fopr a few minutes afterwards, saying all the brochos and whatever, and the poor thing just wants it's mummy!

What is the basis of this minhag of women not being at the bris? Who looks after the poor baby straight away? He has to wait 20 minutes or whatever till he gets back to his mother? Our mohel told us not to nurse the baby for a while before so he would be hungary and the nursing will make him feel better.

I'm glad it's not our minhag - 9 months of heartburn and nausea and discomfort and I don't even get to celebrate. Confused

It's not always that way. I was kvatter at a bris and went to collect the baby from the mens dep., he was sound asleep and slept peacefully all the way home.

Amital

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 3:00 pm

With DS1 and DS2, I was bawling. With DS3, I was too busy holding back my other boys, who wanted to "rescue the baby" (who was screaming from the second they took his clothes off, but no worse during the actual cut.)

zipporah

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 3:06 pm

I just disassociate...

I'm not here... I'm not here.

But DH had to do stuff. He looked like he wanted to run off the first time. Second time, he whipped out his cellphone to show the mohel the spelling I had texted to him, cuz his Hebrew is awful and we got scolded by the Mohel the last time. When he pulled out the phone, it was pretty funny. Everybody was asking me if he was answering a call, and couldn't it wait? I had thought he was going to write it down... technology. LOL

Mommy3.5

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 3:33 pm

Not at all. I was taught by my parents (I have mostly brothers) That it is a time for Joy, as the baby is doing his first Mitzvah. I wholeheartedly see it that way. I was in the room for some brits, and not others, but I never felt like I couldn't handle it.

I was not thrilled by the brit diapers, and I do not like to see my child in pain, but I never felt That I couldn't be happy and enjoy the simcha because of it. All of my kids settled down almost immediately after and went to sleep.

farm

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 4:44 pm

Yup. I am also emotional at chanukah performances, preschool graduations, siddur party... Made fun of others for being that type and now it's me hiding behind the video camera, all emotional.

Avrahamamma

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 11:04 pm

I'm with Dr. Mom on this one. but I was emotional for my baby who was about to have his brit and also for my husband who was about to perform it ... he seemed fine before it. but afterwards he was a wreck and said he probably wouldn't do the cutting for the next ones. Confused

the baby was great and healed quickly baruch Hashem.

btw I also had the baby's name changed on me. whats with this changing their names thing! don't these men care that we are the ones who gave birth and should have a say in the name! anyways I liked the name ... but still

Merrymom

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 11:22 pm

The bris itself was ok, we had done our research and got the best mohel so I felt secure as far as that goes. Afterwards though whenever I had to change his diaper or whenever he whimpered in pain I cried right along with him. It was AWFUL!!!!