HELP! My 13 year old son is STILL bedwetting!!!!

Supermom#1

Tue, Oct 19 2010, 10:57 am

Hope one of the above tips helped your son, but if not, try this. I recently started to listen to health & nutrition lectures by Malky Tauber on the Akeres Habayis hotline. She explains in detail how avoiding dairy & focusing on good nutrition gets rid of a host of ills, incuding bedwetting. You really have nothing to lose by calling in & listening, (it also helps time pass faster when your washing dishes, folding laundry, ironing, or any other mind-nimbing activity!)
The # of the hotline is 718-506-9057, press 6 for healthyo & nutrition, then press 2 for "all previous lectures," then you can start with #1 and continut from there. She specifically mentions bedwetting in lecture #3.
Hope this helps! Good Luck!

quickchef

Tue, Oct 19 2010, 10:56 pm

I did alot of research back in the day... when my then 4 y.o. started bedwetting after being trained for years. My research showed me that in my child's case - it was allergy "stressing" - the neuroimmune/nervous system (which also controls urinary functions) - I did the Feingold diet (no food dyes or perspervatives) and most importantly eliminated dairy. As soon as I elminated the dairy, had no more problem. It was bedwetting and stuttering at the same time. When one stopped so did the other.

If your son by chance has any food sensitivities... it might be worth a trial (of eliminating the foods he's allergic or possibly allergic to - with dairy being possibly the biggest culprit.

The most amazing thing was to be able to test it (after a long dry period). We would put dairy back into his diet... and within a day he was stuttering and bedwetting. IF we stopped, it took a couple of days I think (maybe up to 4?) and POOF - problems disappeared again.

amother

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 1:02 am

I also have a 13-year-old son who was frequently bedwetting until fairly recently. Now it is very rare.

I did lots of research - and there can be so many causes etc. that no one can really help you from afar and you really need to talk to an expert. BUT I will say this: don't rush to medicate. There are so many other things to try first.

The one thing I would have tried (and still might because the problenm for my son is still there very occasionally) - but it seemed to not be necessary for us in the end - was a sleep disorder program. Bedwetting is often the result of the same sleep problem that causes sleep apnea - without being too specific since I don't have the details in front of me and don't want to say something wrong - but basically:

Some people go very quickly into very deep sleep - skip REM (rarely if ever dream or remember their dreams) - and are impossible to wake up in the middle of the night - often talk/walk in their sleep, etc. For our son, this seems so true - within minutes of falling asleep, he is a ROCK. THen an hour later, he's talking loudly in his sleep - but he never remembers dreaming - I guess because he stays in such a deep stage of sleep, etc.

People like this have a tendency to wet the bed because their bodies just don't realize what's happening or that they need to get up to use the bathroom.

Limiting drinks, using alarms, etc., do not help because the real issue is a SLEEP issue.

And the thing is, this sleep issue persists even after the person outgrows bedwetting eventually, which almost all do. Then it can manifest in other ways - apnea, sleepiness during the day, etc. SO it's still a problem.

IF any of this resonates with you about your son, look into solving the sleep issue - there are solutions - some expensive, some not - so research. I think most programs use a combination of specific times to be woken up (takes effort on the parents' part) and other approaches.

As I said, I'm still considering this for my son because I do believe he has a sleep issue even though he almost never wets any more (just in the past six months or so - and he's almost 14).

Google bedwetting sleep issue apnea - or something similar.

amother

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 7:51 am

Quite a few kids in my husband's family wet till the age of 14. 4 of my 5 wet. They are very deep sleepers, talk etc. We did the round of doctors and a phychologist years ago. B"h they aren't embarrassed since it is a family issue. By friends they put on their diapers in private and throw them away on their own. At home if they forget to use the diapers they have to strip their own beds. The sleep apnea and allergy issues are insteresting. Especially considering that we have allergies, eczema and asthma in dif combinations in the family. Can't wait for them to outgrow it, the laundry load is staggering. Some of the kids wet two or three times a night.

exhausted

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 8:40 am

I had the same issue with my son until he was about 12. We did the whole physical thing, went to a pediatric urologist, put him on the nasal spray which worked fine for the first few months and then stopped working. We were about to start with the alarm and then he just stopped on his own. He's almost 14 now and wets once every few months. One thing I remember one of the Drs. telling me was that there was no need to minimize drinking in the evening as this was not the cause, and he's old enough to remember to go to the bathroom before he goes to sleep.

My son was also very uncomfortable going to the Dr. but we found one that was excellent with kids and very matter of fact about the whole thing and the visit was not uncomfortable for him.

amother

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 12:39 pm

OP here,

He was night trained pretty late, at about 7 yrs. Nothing worked then, we even tried the alarm. At the end, dh and I took turns waking him a few times at night, so his bladder would be empty. He was quite dry since. I don't know if he's been protecting himself with a pamper or not and if yes, for how long. I do know that it went from once in 3 months to once a week. Can stress be a factor? He is in a new program this year, 13 year olds have a different program here, in between school and yeshiva kind of setting. His day starts at 5:45 and he goes to sleep at 10:00.

He has an appt coming up, we'll have to be patient till then.

amother

Wed, Oct 27 2010, 9:22 pm

my 7 yr old son recently started wetting the bed at least a few times a week, lately.
and he's been night dry for years with occasional wetting.
I have found that in the summer he wets more often than the winter and I think its b/c in the winter he gets more sleep, since its dark he wakes up later, and in the summer gets less sleep.
when he goes to sleep very tired he sleeps more deeply, and then wets. when he's had enough sleep for a few nights in a row, he doesnt usually wet.
I just started him in pullups after having been wearing underwear at night since age 3-4.
it feels horrible to me that he's gone backwards like this, but it does help with the cleanup issue, and he's happier to wake up not soaked through.
I thought he'd be embarrassed to wear pullups like his 3 yr old brother, but he's not. he prefers it.

amother

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 3:58 pm

amother wrote:

If your issue is that he sleeps very deeply, I would recommend the alarm, that's what it's for, to teach deep sleepers to wake up when they have to go. It worked great for us. check out the reviews on amazon for the Malem Ultimate Sleep Alarm.