help teacher mad having #2 accidents in school

Laughing Bag!

Tue, Jan 11 2011, 7:31 pm

de_goldy wrote:

I am a preschool teacher and would like to say that #2 accidents are completely different from pish accidents. If the teacher is really "mad", I think that is wrong, but I do think she has a right to request pull-ups during school. We had this with a child at one point and we told the parents to send her in a pull-up.

I agree. actually I had in one case had a kid who was toilet trained at home went by himself, never made accidents but in school he was shy to tell that he needs to make and therefore his mother on her own sent him in pull ups/ pampers. what ended up working was that the mother spoke to himat home that she wants him to go to the toilet in school and if he doesnt she'll need to keep him home, and if he makes accidents shewould tell the teacher to call her and she'll pick him up. because at home he never makes accidents hes better off at home. from then he stopped and started going to the bathroom in school; actually he did make an accident once I followed through by calling the mother who wasnt home then, it scared him because he loved school and that was the end of it.
if your teacher is willing to work along with you she can do alot of encouraging to help but yes I think it makes it more bareable to the teacher to change an accident done in a pull up than one done in underwear especially if its #2.
Good Luck!

mummiedearest

Tue, Jan 11 2011, 7:58 pm

it's reasonable to request pull ups. however, she still has to change your daughter. your daughter obviously can't sit in that all day. tell the teacher that you are sending in the pull ups as requested. make your own request. have the teacher note the time whenever your daughter has a #2 accident. after three times, she should know when your daughter usually goes. have an assistant take your daughter to the toilet every day. some kids need reminding.

NotInNJMommy

Tue, Jan 11 2011, 8:49 pm

I think the teacher getting mad and making a huge deal will only hold the child back from maturing to not having the accidents.

I know that with my kids, the more frustrated I got with accidents, the more they happened. When I was chill about it, and dealt with it, and stayed positive, etc., the easier my kids would move on to the next phase of potty training.

It's a hard call with the pull ups, bc my dd regressed BIG TIME when I put her in pull ups. She just made all the time in them.

That said, different programs have different standards when it comes to 3 yr olds and accidents. It may be that another program where dealing with an accident once a week isn't such a big deal, would be a better place for you.

For many, it's unreasonable to come get the 3 yr old whenever they have an accident. I know I couldn't leave work for something like that. So, you have to find a program that works with your life.

imabima

Wed, Jan 12 2011, 7:52 am

I've had experience with this as a morah and an Ima.
I think it's normal to take longer to train at school than at home. Generally, the mother or whoever's there can make sure that the child is going to the bathroom every 30 minutes or however often it takes to avoid an accident. At school, it's totally different. As a mother, I send to school in diaper/pull-ups until the child is asking to go AT SCHOOL consistently then change them to undies. At home, I'm much more willing to put the undies on knowing that accidents are going to happen but I wouldn't ask the teachers to deal with it.

As a morah, I've had some very frustrating parents to deal with. One mom put her 2 year old in pull ups for MONTHS before she showed any interest in toilet training. Daily, her #2 would leak and I'd have to change her whole outfit. Pullups aren't made to be used as diapers, only to catch occasional accidents. Basically, the mother wanted US to train her. This girl came to school for early drop off at 7 and stayed until 5pm, the latest late that she could. Annoying!

In my first year as a morah, before I was a mother, I had one child (about 2 1/2) who was in underwear and was okay most of the time. One day, as we were waiting for parents to pick up, his made a HUGE mess in his underwear. I remember spending 20 minutes! cleaning him up and changing his clothes,getting him new shoes to wear, etc all while the mother sat in her car. When I brought him out, 15 minutes after all the other students had left, I was so annoyed that she just SAT IN HER CAR while I stayed late to clean up her kid.

I guess the reason for all this is to keep in ind that while your child may be ready at home, school is an entirely different atmosphere and your child just might not be comfortable enough going at school yet. Some children also have a harder time relaxing enough for number 2 when they're out of their cozy home environment and then, suddenly, they can't hold it anymore and it's too late.

Okay, done rambling.

torahtots

Thu, Feb 10 2011, 8:20 pm

I can't say whether she should be in pull-ups or not. Personally I'm against pull-ups b/c they're too much like diapers and give kids the feeling that a) they're babies, b) they can/should make in them and c) lowers their self-confidence thinking "if the grown ups don't think I'm ready to go to the bathroom, maybe I'm not." But if the school has a policy, there's nothing you can do except find a different school. I just read an article about a 3-yr-old in America (I don't know where you live - I'm in Israel and here the policy is 3-yr-olds have to be potty-trained. If you have a nice teacher, he'll change the kids, if not she'll call the parents every time they make) who was suspended from school until she could stop having accidents. I think that's completely inappropriate. It's totally normal for a 3-yr-old to be having accidents, and experts in child development insist it's better to wait till they're ready than to push it on them too soon.

I highly highly agree with PP who said that if the teacher is reacting negatively/getting obviously upset in front of DD, it is going to affect her entire attitude toward potty training. Teachers should know better than to behave that way, esp when something so normal happens for a child that age. You know, if your child threw up her teacher would be so kind. And I'll bet if an 8 yr old had an accident in school for some reason, her teacher would be especially kind, gentle, and soothing. And yet for some reason when a 3-yr-old has an accident she overreacts? I don't know, maybe she's only talking to you about it and not reacting in front of DD. But if she is reacting in front of DD, something has to be done - either she has to be spoken to by a superior or maybe you need to find a new school.

I am dealing with something similar with my son, who is a bit younger. In my opinion his teacher is being lazy an not taking him to the potty as often as he needs to be taken (there are only 9 kids and they are of potty training age and almost all are in diapers, she should be able to take him). She keeps trying to push me to put him back in diapers b/c it's easier for her, even though he wears underwear everywhere else (and on her one day off a week when the sub is there he does fine. But with her he has accidents because I don't think she's taking him!) Anyway, b"H the last few days he has been dry but I was seriously thinking about pulling him out. I just didn't want to uproot him b/c I know that overall he is happy there. It's a difficult decision.

amother

Sat, Feb 12 2011, 10:13 pm

As a mother and a teacher who's been there, I think the teacher is being unreasonable and counterproductive.

1) Kids have accidents. Especially little kids. It's a fact of life. It's one of the hazards of the profession. If she can't handle it, then she's in the wrong line of work.

2) When a kid has an accident they already feel horrible and ashamed as it is. They don't need a figure of authority and nurturing to make them feel worse. In addition, a negative reaction to accidents will make them regress. They will begin to associate that feeling of having to go with being ashamed and unloved and will become stressed at the whole thing and accidents will become more and more common.

Potty training is a very delicate, long drawn out process that has to be dealt with properly and patiently. If the teacher gets stressed out, so will your child and it will only get harder.