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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim
Please help with poem -Shushan theme



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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Wed, Mar 16 2011, 9:45 pm
Re-posting due to lack of response, and desperation Sad .

Chayitty, and bigdeal are u still around? Was just reading thru the amazing poems u wrote last year. Pinkfridge and overthehill I really like ur styles too. And there's so many more poets out there with talent - any ideas???

The theme is as old as Purim- the theme is, well Purim. Basically I have these really cute large goblets that I decided look Persian, and I am putting a baked goods that are 'twisted' along with mini vodka. Plus a bonus ring that has a cute little mask on it.

The idea I'd like expressed is basically how the story of Purim began with some drinking / goblets -Achashveirosh's party, then with a twist of events the goblets and wine were next used at Esther's party for Achashveirosh and Haman. And finally we now can celebrate with drinking from this goblet, to celebrate the miraculous twist of events. (If the ring can fit in there somehow too, good, if not it's totally fine.)

Hope this is clear.

I'll really appreciate any ideas! TIA!!


Last edited by amother on Wed, Mar 13 2019, 1:33 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Wed, Mar 16 2011, 10:05 pm
Ok -here's what the non-poet came up with,
can anyone help fix it up, or add ideas of your own???

TIA!!!

Poem:

It all began with a toast,
Achashveirosh used his goblet,
And Haman advised to let Vashti roast.

Esther was chosen as the new queen,
At her party the goblet was used again,
And Haman’s true colors were finally seen.

The Yidden were saved from a terrible fate,
With the miraculous twist of events,
Now taste the baked twists, and say L’chaim
with the goblet to celebrate!


Last edited by amother on Wed, Mar 13 2019, 5:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Wed, Mar 16 2011, 11:23 pm
Here's the new revised version, just worked on it with DH,
let me know what you think!

Poem:

It all began when Achashveirosh used his goblet to toast,
And then upon Haman’s advice he let Vashti off the coast.

The goblet was used next at the party of Esther the queen,
It was now that Haman’s true colors were finally seen.

This miraculous twist of events put the Yidden back on their feet,
Enjoy the twists, and while you say L’chaim try to stay in your seat! Smile


Last edited by amother on Wed, Mar 13 2019, 5:09 pm; edited 1 time in total
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shaynaladle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 17 2011, 12:03 am
I am seriously overtired and sleep deprived, so this may be complete rubbish, but if it's of any help... (Good luck!)

Quote:
They gathered to feast, eat drink and sing
raising their goblets to toast to the king
Drunk with power, he thought suddenly
to display his queen's beauty for all to see

Denying his wishes did her death warrant sign
and to the young Esther the king took a shine
Smitten, he crowned her his for evermore
whilst behind the scenes stirred the tides of war

Right hand to the ruler was the evil Haman
plotting annihalation, thought his will would be done
Of dark deeds and thoughts, his plans were to force
not parade around his enemy upon the king's horse!

In a twist of fates - by tefillah and fasting
saved by Yad Hashem, His kindness everlasting
The tale of Purim, pawns, queens and kings
remembered for all time with delicious, fun things!


:: laughs :: I'm not great with these things Tongue Out but I like the last 4 lines


Last edited by shaynaladle on Fri, Aug 31 2012, 5:24 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Mon, Mar 21 2011, 10:55 pm
Really nice peom, thanks!!

Last edited by amother on Wed, Mar 13 2019, 5:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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shaynaladle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 21 2011, 11:14 pm
Thanks.

Hope you found something to work with! And that you had a freilichen Purim!
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