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Low self image in a 6 year year old



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Ima2NYM_LTR




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 25 2011, 4:24 pm
"Ima, Im not a good boy. I always get yelled at. I never do anything right"

This is what I hear from my 6 year old DS, a bright, creative, talented (over)active boy.

He doesnt say it all the time, but when he gets in a funk, he wont get it out of his head. We try positive encouragement but it doesnt seem to help. Today I read his reports from school, which included "best job ever" (on homework) "Wow", "excellent" and "had a fine week and concentrated on school work". He still insisted he was bad.

Called the ped. and sent emails to the teachers to see what their thoughts are on this matter, but Im worried- is my son depressed?
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Ima2NYM_LTR




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 26 2011, 8:59 pm
after shabbos bump

anyone?
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Blue jay




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 26 2011, 10:04 pm
Your son must be a special boy, he is succeeding in school and you must love him to pieces!
He also must be emotionally sensitive ( like my ds Very Happy ) My son sometimes makes comments like this and I find that it can be a reaction to something so small like he is missing a toy or he cant take apart his lego blocks.

Being that your son is in 1st grad or so,,, I would ask the teacher some questions about how he interacts with the other kids, does he have friends...does he participate etc. Ask your son who he plays with in school, what fun things he does with his friends. Get in the know about his social experience. If he feels lonely and isolated than you can try to give him tools to feel more socially confident.

Also tap into his home situation,when he is with his brother and sisters does he seem overpowered, does he get a chance to play? He might be feeling a little left out of the spotlight. Dont be so alarmed to his self criticism. Kids are very black and white, he just feels like he needs some pats on the back and extra extra approval from mom and dad.

Also, think about your personality are you like your boy? I know Im totally like my son, and Im always so hard on myself! Its all genetics LOL

Good luck!
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 26 2011, 10:43 pm
When my now 7 year old was at his low points when it came to his self-esteem (and I mean really low), what always brought a smile to his face and a surge of confidence was watching videos of himself as a toddler. It worked 100% of the time.

Otherwise, I'm thinking that the kind of compliments he may be getting cause him to automatically disbelieve the compliment-er, causing him to assume the exact opposite about himself. A "Wow!" or "Excellent!" might not mean much to him, while a compliment describing exactly what he did would make him think highly of himself. For example, if he got an entire page of addition problems correct, instead of a "Great!" if he would hear: "You got the entire sheet right and some of these weren't easy!" or something similar, he would be all set-up to think about himself: "I really am a good student!" But if you were to tell him those words: "You're a good student!" he may suddenly remember last week when he got a page all wrong and that compliment goes in one ear and out the other.
It takes getting used to but after that, this kind of complimenting comes pretty automatic.
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Miri1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 27 2011, 2:02 am
good point Grip.
When compliments are prescriptive as opposed to descriptive, it can be confusing or even demanding to a kid.
And if he's perfectionist or the literal type, even more so.
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