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Overwhelmed!



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amother


 

Post Thu, Aug 31 2006, 10:06 am
I am soo overwhelmed! I have a 3 month old baby and am working full time. I am just not happy about it. I hate waking my baby up in the morning when hes sleeping so nicely and happily to drag him in the car, which he hates (always cries in his car seat) , to the babysitter. I hate leaving him every day alone with someone else to watch him. I hate the fact that I am so bombed when I get home from work ( I have a very busy job!), I have little energy to play with him and stimulate him. I hate that the house is messy (since whatever energy I have at the end of the day, I spend on my baby, not on my house). I hate sleeping 4-5 hours a night--after I put my baby to bed at 10:00ish, I shower, wash dishes, pump, etc. and end up going to sleep really late....and I need to get up really early to make it on time for work. I am just unhappy with the situation. I just started working full time this week, so maybe its just new.....and we need the income right now, how can I quit? just venting.....I wish I could give my baby all the time in the world, and I wish I could have more time and energy for myself. my husband is very helpful (makes my lunch for me, does the laundry, etc) but still! im really stressed out
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chen




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 31 2006, 10:28 am
{{{{Hugs}}}}

Gam zeh yaavor (this, too, shall pass). Besides having a very full plate, you are still experiencing the physical and emotional effects of being postpartum and are not back to your "old self". Sleep deprivation stinks! Chances are you would feel this way, if not to quite the same degree, even if you were not working F/T.

Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and accept the situation for what it is. Life cannot and will not ever be the same as it was before you became a parent. What you need to do is decide what two or three things are most important to you and adjust everything else. For example, if you find that an always- messy house is just too depressing to bear, try to arrange for some outside help. Having a clean house for 10 minutes once in 2 or 3 weeks may be enough to lift your spirits. Or maybe the cooking is what really gets to you, in which case buying takeout once in a while may be just the ticket. If having no time for yourself is the biggest thing, arrange for dh to take over now and then and give yourself a day or evening off to indulge in whatever it is that will make you feel human.

And keep reminding yourself that the situation is only temporary but the nachas and joy from your child will be forever. Speaking as an erstwhile stressed-out, sleep-deprived, close-to-tears-all-the-time mom of infants, I can tell you you are going through the toughest time of your life right now, but it does get easier eventually! (Close to tears? What am I saying? there were times I used to literally sit down and cry because it was all just too much for me. A good cry can actually help you feel better because the body gets rid of certain stress hormones.)

Hang in there. As my dear friend reminded me the other day, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
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Imhappy!




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 31 2006, 11:52 am
hugs to you OP I hope you're feeling better today.
You have plenty on your plate and Chen gave great advice.
don't beat yourself up for feeling this way you're perfectly normal lots of normal looking smiley people feel this way after birth esp. after the first birth it is a HUGE adjustment but keep in mind that this too shall pass and for now relax take it as easy as you can and remember that you are not alone there are many people in the same boat as you.
I hope this helps a bit.

and post more often to get the stress of yourself that definitely helps!
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suomynona




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 31 2006, 5:11 pm
I know how you feel. I didn't get anything done after I went back to work after having a baby. I just remember working, pumping and washing my pump pieces for a few months. More often than not, I went to sleep with dirty dishes in the sink. Now I can look back and see that the real hard part was only for a few months. When my baby turned about 6 months old, he started going to sleep 8:30-9:00 instead of 11 and my life totally changed. I feel like at this point I almost have as much time as I did before he was born. So now I know for the future that the difficult part is only temporary.
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BrachaVHatzlocha




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 31 2006, 6:19 pm
{{{HUGS}}}
As a working mom of 2, I can sympathize.
Firstly, as you said yourself, give it some time. It may get better. HOPEFULLY!
But first and foremost, your health does come first. Try to get more sleep. 4-5 hours is NOT enough. You have to give up on something to get more sleep. Use disposibles, etc, so you have less to clean up.
Why are you pumping at night? Try to find some time to do it at work - if your nursing your baby, you shouldn't need to pump at home if you can pump at work. Try to do that, if possible. I would pump every 3 hours at work. it's also a good 10-15 minute break from your busy schedule.
It's hard to leave your baby with a "stranger." But hopefully you know this person is very capable and loving and hope she won't be too much of a stranger and will coem to love your baby as you do so you will feel much more comfortable. with time, of course.
Try to find some time to relax and have some ice cream.
Hatzlocha!
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amother


 

Post Thu, Aug 31 2006, 11:01 pm
I did the same thing.......... I worked full time after my baby. I have since stopped that, but I can tell you, if you don't HAVE to do it, don't. Try every which way to be able to cut a bit, even an hour or two. I regret that I worked so much. I was always soooooo stressed. It was very hard to put it mildly. I spent every second playing with my son because I felt guilty... and I tried to do everything else, bake, cook, clean, etc. My dh also helped alot, but I was one harried woman. I really regret it. I really didnt live.... On the other hand, good luck to you. I'm just saying this because I don't want other ppl to make the same mistake I did, that's if you have a choice about it. And you should also know that you're normal. It's ok feel like this. Just try to cut as much as possible.
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