sending child for a playdate (spinoff)

amother

Thu, Jul 14 2011, 3:13 pm

What if your child is really good friends with a child and the father has ALLEgedly done some inappropriate thiings? The mom has asked me several times and I can not make up excuses any longer. I want to be honest but I see her and her husband all the time and it would be very uncomfortable to say it to her face. My daughter doesnt understand why she can have or go to every other girl but her. Although there is always a chance that these are false accusations, I will not take the chance.

amother

Thu, Jul 14 2011, 4:49 pm

I would not ask the principal bc I dont know if they are aware of these alligations. I dont think its my place to tell them unless it directly affects my child and so far it has not.. I don't know what this mother is thinking since she married him knowing about these accusations even though she has young children of her own (denial). I would have her daughetr over by me but it would be a little awkward that we are refusing and he comes and drops her off. The truth is I just want to tell her the real reason im not sending my daughter over but it would make it extremely akward at all school functions and pick ups and drop offs. Im uncomfortable as it is whenever I see her. I think she knows that I know.

Kayza

Thu, Jul 14 2011, 5:36 pm

amother wrote:

I would not ask the principal bc I dont know if they are aware of these alligations. I dont think its my place to tell them unless it directly affects my child and so far it has not..

Does this man have any contact with other children in the school? If he does you must let them know. Otherwise, you are right.

In any case, I see no reason to ask them what to do. There is no Halachik issue here. Even a Rov who would tellyou that you can't report him to the police would not say that you should send your child into his home.

Quote:

I would have her daughetr over by me but it would be a little awkward that we are refusing and he comes and drops her off. The truth is I just want to tell her the real reason im not sending my daughter over but it would make it extremely akward at all school functions and pick ups and drop offs. Im uncomfortable as it is whenever I see her. I think she knows that I know.

You have exactly two and a half choices. 1. Tell her the truth and deal with the fallout. 2. End the relationship now. 1/2 Keep making excuses till she calls yo on it, at which point you will need to choose 1 or 2 above.

Merrymom

Thu, Jul 14 2011, 5:38 pm

Just continue making excuses. You don't have to risk your child so as not to hurt her feelings. If she doesn't have a problem with it, that's her decision. I am of the "better safe than sorry" camp, even if it is all a lie.