How do you get anything done?!

acccdac

Mon, Aug 01 2011, 11:16 am

seeker wrote:

And how long do you consider them "new mothers" who shouldn't be doing anything else?

Sorry, acccdac, I think you're being unrealistic. How long do you think anyone's mental health can hold out without the housework getting done? Oh, and I only get to shower when DH takes care of the baby and there's nothing more urgent to do (sleep wins pretty often, after restroom and brushing teeth)

with my first baby I had a shower once a week, and my dh wasnt working then so he was around. Anytime I was in the shower my child knew, if he took the baby for me to nap the baby was good, same thing for me to eat, etc but when it came to me taking a shower, the baby would freak!

the problem is the world is unrealistic not me. everyone expects you to do EVERYTHING and be super woman. the truth is she doesnt exist. If you want to look rested, feel normal, not snap at every family member that comes through the door than you need to give yourself time and that means dropping all expectations to get a to do list done.

I am not talking from ignorance here I have 3 kids. My last 2 slept through the night at about 6 weeks and starting at 5 months all naps were in cribs. That meant carpool became a hassle because I still had to deal with a crying baby, while picking my kids up from school, I had to make sure the baby napped well so I didnt have to skip it because of carpool. I am lucky that my kids slept through the night at 6 weeks, but if I was dealing with a baby that didnt allow this I probably would have used the time of the naps to sleep, take a shower, throw a load of laundry in, make dinner, etc.

But the idea of doing all of this and in addition going to the market to get the dry goods shopping for pesach done, plus bed and bath to buy the missing items, plus the dentist to take care of my double cavity, that is expecting way to much for one day with a baby and no help.

plus I expect throwing in a load of laundry, making dinner, helping your other kids with homework, maybe swishing around some soap in the toilet as part of a regular day.

I was saying having a "to do" list is the problem. Unless your kid is not attached, sleeps 12 hours a night, and 2 naps that are at least 1 1/2 hours long, plus someone that can come watch your baby while they're sleeping so you can leave the house, you cant expect to get things done all the time.

women have to stop thinking that they can do it all, they cant, and you are talking to the worlds best multitasker. It was a shock having my first and realizing that trying to grade finals, take 3 finals myself, being a wife, a mother of a baby who wouldnt sleep and wanted to be held the whole time is possible, and I know so cause I did it, but like I said I got one shower a week, was majorly sleep deprived, and thank G-d I dont have more than 2 pictures of myself to document that time.

morah

Mon, Aug 01 2011, 1:04 pm

OH MY GOD, I FINALLY FEEL NORMAL Very Happy

I was gonna start this post myself at some point...

4 months old, first time ima, and I can't get anything done! I can't even get myself dressed before 1 or 1 in the afternoon... My husband comes home and wonders what I do all day because it looks like I did nothing. B'H I have an "easy" baby, but it's still so hard to take care of him! Aside from being a first-timer who knows very little about babies in general, I pretty much have to entertain him the entire time he's awake (bouncing him on my knee as I type right now); nursing exclusively- although it takes much less time than it used to, I'm still feeding very frequently. Although he does nap in his crib and I don't have to hold him till he falls asleep, his naps are either too short to allow me to accomplish anything, or I have to nap myself because he still gets up 2-3 times at night to nurse. So yeah, my life is totally consumed with my baby and everything else has gone to h@ll in a handbasket, but it feels good to know I'm not the only one...

seeker

Mon, Aug 01 2011, 1:33 pm

Same here. I usually get up before noon but unless I have to be somewhere I don't get dressed until later, baby has a tendency to destroy my clothes so why bother. Now it's 1:30, she's playing happily enough and I'm getting fed up with myself, so I'm going to change.

I feel SO GOOD with a relatively clean house today. DH entertained the baby last night while I did all that stuff and now I feel so much more human. It was totally worth it and didn't even take so long without the baby in my arms. WIN.

I don't even remember how I managed before summer vacation, can't imagine what I'm going to do when it's time to get back to work in September.

This thread has been so therapeutic. I now know that I'm not the only one, have some sympathy, and that not everyone's babies are this demanding - which is validating because it means when I see a new mommy looking accomplished and put-together I can assume their baby is the other kind and it's not just that I'm a shlump.

dmum

Mon, Aug 01 2011, 4:43 pm

On the bright side... these babies are fantastic for weight training!
When my clingy DD was 8 months old, I bashed in my finger and it caused lack of some function in my wrist. I had to go to physio for a while to strengthen it. After a couple of sessions, the physio said, hey, if your wrist is affected, probably your upper arm is also affected and needs exercises. He then felt my upper right arm and said, wow, what training are you doing??? I kid you not. I said, ha, that's my baby - I carry her all day. He was seriously impressed with my muscles in my right arm. And so was I when I realised how well-developed they were for the first time ever!
So hey- you're not just carrying your baby, you're getting your exercise routine done too!
(Though I do sympathise, when DD stopped being so clingy I couldn't figure out afterwards why I had needed that many hours of cleaning help despite being a SAHM at the time.)

chocolate chips

Mon, Aug 01 2011, 10:22 pm

observer wrote:

chocolate chips wrote:

morah my days also start at 1. after his 7am feed I sleep till 10 feed again then showering n dressing in between putting him to sleep and then eating breakfast its already 1230 half an hour b4 next feed!! then feed then lunch its usually 2 by the time I get out if I decide to go anywhere.
I guess at some point we'll start getting a semblance to normal life Wink

seeker wrote:

Same here. I usually get up before noon

yeh I usualy do unless my baby doesnt let me ie: he most times cries until around 830-915 and when he falls asleep I can.
That said its only if I have nothing major to do (like most days) but once I start work (hopefully asap) I wont be doing that anymore lol

jemappelle

Mon, Aug 01 2011, 10:56 pm

chocolate chips wrote:

morah my days also start at 1. after his 7am feed I sleep till 10 feed again then showering n dressing in between putting him to sleep and then eating breakfast its already 1230 half an hour b4 next feed!! then feed then lunch its usually 2 by the time I get out if I decidk, worke to go anywhere.
I guess at some point we'll start getting a semblance to normal life Wink

wow this sounds like bliss! going back to sleep until 10 and showering afterwards--in my dreams only!....we are more of the get up at 6 after having been up multiple times during the night for feedings...get everyone off to school/playgroup/babysitter...straight to work, work all day, home in time for dinners, baths, homework, feedings, cooking laundry etc etc etc, drop into bed for a few hours and start the cycle again...no wonder I recommended the baby carrier for 'getting things done'...but I see it totally wasnt pertinent!

seeker

Mon, Aug 01 2011, 10:59 pm

What I said about getting up by noon was not including all the time spent taking care of baby before noon. She doesn't generally go to sleep before midnight at all. It's not for lack of my trying, no matter how much she does or doesn't nap all day she's always bright-eyed and playful at night. Then she generally wakes up to feed once in middle of the night and a couple of times in the morning . That's why I rarely leave the bedroom before 11 these days... it'll all have to change come September, I've really been pampering mysef this summer!

chocolate chips

Tue, Aug 02 2011, 1:34 pm

jemappelle wrote:

chocolate chips wrote:

morah my days also start at 1. after his 7am feed I sleep till 10 feed again then showering n dressing in between putting him to sleep and then eating breakfast its already 1230 half an hour b4 next feed!! then feed then lunch its usually 2 by the time I get out if I decidk, worke to go anywhere.
I guess at some point we'll start getting a semblance to normal life Wink

hey but this is my only child n I dont work Smile

trust me im njoyin it while I can Smile