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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names
Each parent calling child by a different name



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Dev80




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 4:55 am
So...I was wondering if anyone knows if this is ever done?

We want to name after a relative of Dh's, and use a middle name that we both love love love. DH wants to call the baby after the relative and I say ok and I'll call it by the middle name. He keeps telling me we can't do that, it'll confuse the baby, etc etc. So I as just wondering if anyone knows of anyone who does this? Or is it really that weird?

Now dh is saying maybe we'll use a different middle name, and save the name we really like for a different baby so we can use it.

Any thoughts (and keep it nice, I'm at the end of my ninth month and super hormonal so please be sensitive and don't call me any names Wink)
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 4:59 am
No prob Wink

We call dd with all kinds of nicknames, names (she has 5! 3 jewish 2 french) and pet names and she recognizes them all Wink

Now, she tells me I tend to call everyone "baby", meaning dh, her and the pets, and THAT is confusing LOL
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cinnamon




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 5:00 am
you can start out that way but I don't think it will stick. eventually you will probably both settle on some name that works for you and the child.
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Shuly




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 5:07 am
I know someone who did this. The husband called their DD the name that was after his grandmother and the wife called her the name they had chosen. It lasted a few weeks and now everyone calls her the name the mother calls her!
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 9:06 am
I have that and so do one of my sisters. We didn't get confused at all. My father calls me by my jewish name, which is yiddish. My mother calls me by my second legal name, which is hebrew. Everyone else calls me by my first legal name, which is hebrew. My yiddish and hebrew names mean the same thing BTW. My sister, my father calls her by her jewish name which is yiddish and everyone else calls her by her legal name, which is hebrew. She has a second legal name which is english, but NOBODY calls her that. The reason why it ended up happening that way was because my mother is the one who takes care of all the paper work and that's what she wrote Wink . They did agree on the legal name though. The reason why they gave us so many names was because my mother didn't like the yiddish names. COMPROMISE!!! 8)
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obagys




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 9:33 am
With our latest baby DD we couldn't decide. We ended up naming her Elisheva Talia. I call her Tali. My husband calls her Elisheva. Half the kids call her Elisheva and the other half Tali, except for 5yo DD who calls her by both names. Hope we somehow all switch over to one name soon - the baby is only 2 months so doesn't know the difference, but it annoys me! lol
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ModaMama




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 9:46 am
Our children all have multiple names but out of habit their names and nicknames seem to merge and then after a few months they tend to be called the same thing by everyone. I don't think parents using different names is confusing but think about registering for gan or school. Eventually what you ask others to call your child is how they'll be known to everyone but their parents.
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 9:53 am
dh and I do this for our oldest, example; I call him menachem and he calls him mendel. ds refers to himself as menechem he is registered in school that way and the whole world calls him menachem. dh is the only one who calls him mendel. I also call him mendel when I keep hearing dh call him that, its like a private nickname.
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RachelEve14




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 12:08 pm
I think personally if you really love the name you should use it. And I mean use it.

We hold names are what you are called, so the only child we have with 2 names is called by both. That said, even though WE call ds Avraham Tzvi(kie), one of his sisters started with just Tzvikie.

I think if you love the middle name you want to use, you should use it. As the child gets old s/he's going to have one name. Either First Name, Middle Name, or First Name Middle Name. I think your dh's logic of saving the name you love for a time when you will use it makes sense.
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Dev80




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 1:14 pm
Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate it.

If we could use the two names (like RachelEve suggested) then we probably would call by both, but they so DON'T go together, think of something like Mordechai Yechezkel or Devorah Avigayil, basically two names that don't flow as well as Avraham Tzvi.

I have a feeling, like some of you are saying, that it would evolve into one name..but I have a feeling that would also be the middle name and the one we like, not for who were naming after and then I'd feel bad.

What I'm hoping is that when the baby is born it will be clear (with ruach hakodesh!) what we should name *it*, and either we'll know what second name to use, and then from there the name will evolve. But, I'm happy to know that it's not SO crazy for a child to go by more then one name. I went by one name at school and nickname that's like a different name at home for years, but I guess this is a little bit more confusing as it's two different names in the home.
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 1:23 pm
ModaMama wrote:
Our children all have multiple names but out of habit their names and nicknames seem to merge and then after a few months they tend to be called the same thing by everyone. I don't think parents using different names is confusing but think about registering for gan or school. Eventually what you ask others to call your child is how they'll be known to everyone but their parents.


very true! I call dd by her second name. at school she uses both her names, I asked her what she wants me to call her- she said by her second name. I asked her what she wanted her morah's to cal her by both her names.

it can really go both ways. ds has 2 names the whole family calls him by his second name' and I have a baby that has 2 names and so far he is still called by both.

one kid the nickname took over that is what friends and family call him and at school he is called by his first name
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LiLIsraeli




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 1:31 pm
I know someone who was named after 2 grandmothers, one of her mother's and one of her father's. Her mother calls her by her first name, her father calls her by her second name, and the rest of the family calls her by another nickname that has nothing to do with either name. In school she is called by her first name.
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smile85




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 7:21 pm
my nephew is turning three soon, and my brother and sister in law still haven't agreed on what to call him. I call him both names. My sil calls him his middle name. He alternates what he calls himself. My brother calls him a nickname.

I'd suggest you pick one!

If my brother would call him his middle name like my sil does, I'd do the same thing.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2011, 10:19 pm
Do whatever makes you happy. The kid will be fine. Kids grow up with each parent speaking a diff language and they're just fine. My cousin and his wife named their first kid Kayla Rina after a deceased relative and in English, Brittany Rose. (Can you just barf?) He, and our whole side of the family, were danged if we're going to call a real person "Brittany" so we all call her Kayla Rina and her mother's side of the fam calls her Brittany. Not once in the 21-1/2 years she's been alive has she been confused about who she is. She answers to both names, though it pains me to say she refers to herself as Brittany.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2011, 10:04 am
On one hand it's ridiculous, on the other hand, you know it happens.

How about the families who name a son for the father, and call him Junior? You can bet his wife will not call him that.

Or kids who have a childish nickname but the teacher calls him by a given name.
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chillax




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2011, 11:05 am
My friend does this.
She calls her one name and her dh calls her the other.
I personally think it's ridiculous.
It's not even about what they call her which I'm sure she'll acknowledge both but it's the fact that they introduce her as whatever they call her to others.
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Dev80




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 24 2011, 6:04 am
I just wanted to update what we ended up doing: so we called him the name that was after the relative, and a different name that does fit with it, as opposed to the name we loved loved that totally didn't fit. But, I also love the name we ended up giving him and it really fits the baby.

The only thing is I'd still prefer to call by the middle name, but I can't tell dh that. So for now we're calling by both but I told dh I might not do that long term, we'll kind of see how it goes. And, I know we made my father in law VERY happy by using the relatives name since it was on his side and it's the first child named for this relative, and that's important too.

Thanks for all the input everyone.
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