how can I make shabbos better?

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How can I make shabbos better?

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amother

Sat, Aug 27 2011, 3:02 pm

Shabbos in my house is far from the ideal
it's a stressful day for me and dh

we have 6 kids aged 1 -10

at each seudah there is always fighting and noone to really join dh with singing and dh can't speak because he hates speaking with interupptions - so the seudos are far from the idea they should be.

what can I do to make it better? I'm sure I'm not the only one in this situation.
How do you involve little kids in your seudah to make it a shabbos'dik atmoshphere?

Hashem_Yaazor

Sat, Aug 27 2011, 9:59 pm

Rabbi Boruch Leff has some great ideas on this. Shabbos in My Soul and the followup More Shabbos in My Soul might help...
Rabbi Dov Brezak also has great ideas.

Basically the trick is to keep it fun and the kids will be entertained. Be prepared BEFORE Shabbos comes with games, riddles, questions, etc...

Basmelechpnima

Sun, Aug 28 2011, 12:40 am

I tell my kids to have a story, joke or something about the parsha ready to share at the table. I try to have jokes prepared to keep it light.

Rubber Ducky

Sun, Aug 28 2011, 12:58 am

Involve the kids. Let them help prepare for Shabbos -- making salads, baking, setting the table. The older ones probably have parsha questions from school. You and your oldest children can prepare stories or games before Shabbos to entertain or spark discussion. For example, kids can act out the parsha (or make puppet shows).

Regarding your husband: is he only able to do a straight d'var Torah? How about asking a question instead? We sometimes read a story aloud from Mishpacha, a book, or a from something like Business Weekly (businesshalacha.com), which often has a halachic/ethical dilemma that children can understand and try to guess the right answer.

JollyMommy

Sun, Aug 28 2011, 8:19 pm

I don't have experience with older kids yet, but I have my 2 and 4 year old set and sit together at a kiddie table. they even "make kiddush" and think it's hilarious. we only do this on shabbos so it's special.

maybe your older ones can sit at the real table and the middle ones can have a kid's table?

we put it right next to the big table. also, I find they last through kiddush, challah, plus 10 minutes or so and then are done. on friday night they lay on the couch and shabbos day we let them loose outside.

maybe you're expecting the little guys to sit for too long?

anon for this

Sun, Aug 28 2011, 11:06 pm

I'm a single parent of several kids, preschool to teens k"ah. I discuss and plan the menu with them and they all help prepare for shabbos, at least a little bit. They also help set the table and serve the food, which means I can get it on the table quicker and they are more interested in eating it since they were involved in the preparation.

One or two kids share a dvar torah or brief parsha story at the table (the rest of the divrei torah I review before or after the meal). The rest of the time they talk about what they did that week. The younger kids start losing interest about 30 minutes into the meal or earlier. After we clean up and bench I serve dessert/ shabbos party and we talk some more.

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