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Demanding infants..Thoughts ,Tips, Ideas chizuk



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shlomitsmum




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 19 2011, 1:12 pm
Reading some responses on the "I hate my baby thread" I'm starting to wonder if I'm a failure ..since I can't bear to let any child cry out (I feel my spine tingle and I feel ILL ..plus I get instant let down embarrassed ) ,I have co-slept until 3 and can't bear to see my 2 1/2 plead for nursing without responding to her "pease"!

I try to follow my instinct .....which says carry ,feed and comfort that child! And when I do get burned out I pay DD to babysit and go out with DH or something.

I'm hoping the last 2 turn out as independent as the older ones who are fierce DIY types now ...even though they were known as " Possum" and "Velcro boy" as infants/toddlers LOL

What works for me is to take the child led cues.....yet someone said to still nurse 2 1/2 dd is spoiling . And that I'm too child focused shock I was too stunned to retort LOL
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 19 2011, 5:03 pm
As long as you are doing what you feel is right, ignore everyone else. Dr. Sears agrees with you (and so do I, if that helps any) but there are bound to be 1,000 opinions on all these things.
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 19 2011, 5:21 pm
while I dont nurse until 2.5, I do agree with your overall parenting style.

I think child-centered parenting is so much healthier and so much more natural.
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 19 2011, 5:25 pm
B'H I have an easy baby, but I'm having a hard time coping b/c even the easiest baby is a handful (especially if it's you're first and you have no idea what you're doing). I don't believe you can spoil a small baby. I also don't get the obsession with independence- my baby is almost 6 months, and a relative WHO HERSELF NURSED has been telling me I have to start thinking about weaning now lest, G-d forbid, I end up nursing past the first birthday (never mind that I plan on baby-led weaning, hope to make it to at least 18 months etc). And no, I don't co-sleep or baby-wear, but I think it's ridiculous to emphasize independence for infants; how, exactly, is a someone who can't feed, dress, or even use the toilet himself supposed to be made "independent"?
In any event, however, I also don't believe a few minutes of crying will hurt the baby, so long as he's not hungry, soiled, in pain, or frightened. There have been times where my baby was being very clingy and I NEEDED a break. So, after making sure he's fed, freshly diapered, and not desperate for a cuddle, I have put him down and let him cry for 10 minutes while I take a hot shower. I come out refreshed and ready to deal with him. Some of the times, he had even stopped crying and was happily playing by the time I came back out, other times he was still crying, but I was feeling better, and ready to scoop him up and hold him without feeling exasperated and at the end of my rope. This has nothing to do with 'teaching' him any lessons, or forcing him not to be clingy. It's all about making sure I can handle him right- and I do believe 10 minutes of crying is infinitely less harmful than holding him while I'm feeling exasperated and a minute away from screaming myself.
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