Debate | Imamother

amother

Wed, Nov 09 2011, 1:05 am

My husband and I have been debating whether we should send our ds to a choir or not. Ds is usually a shy boy, obedient, and chilled. I thought perhaps it would instill confidence in him. Dh thinks it won't be confidence but gaava and he'll become an obnoxious brat. Anyone have experiences with them? (I'm referring to MBC, YBC, NYBC, etc)

obagys

Wed, Nov 09 2011, 9:16 pm

I have absolutely no idea how these choirs work, but assuming he tries out and is accepted, can you pull out at some point if you see it isn't good for him?

amother

Thu, Nov 10 2011, 12:58 am

obagys wrote:

I have absolutely no idea how these choirs work, but assuming he tries out and is accepted, can you pull out at some point if you see it isn't good for him?

We probably can but he wouldn't be very happy about that.

HindaRochel

Thu, Nov 10 2011, 1:05 am

I don't think being in a choir will make him geviahdik. Why would he become a brat? There are bound to be boys whose voices are nicer than his and those whose voices are not as nice as his, and he'll learn to work with a group.

Any skill, well developed, can link to geviah. The important thing is that the person themselves realizes: this is something I can do well." Not "Knowing this skill makes me better than someone else."

If he does start to get overly proud I would work on teaching him to respect others for their skills, not take him out of choir.

morah

Thu, Nov 10 2011, 8:14 am

Hinda Rochel hits the nail on the head- you can have this problem with ANY extra-curricular activity, be it a sports team, a mock trial team, or a choir. It's good to nurture a talent, especially where there is a team involved. Just make sure it's not going to get in the way of his obligations at school and home. Always remind him that talent comes from Hashem- yes you work hard and practice to really get good, but it is still from Hashem and no reason to be too proud of it.

BeershevaBubby

Thu, Nov 10 2011, 8:29 am

Well, here's a stupid question.... does your son what to even try out?

CherryBerry

Sun, Nov 13 2011, 1:46 pm

it takes a while to go from low-confidence to having confidence and then to being arrogant.
thats a pretty long road to travel.
I'd say work on getting him to the middle point of having confidence first before you worry about him going too far.

imasinger

Sun, Nov 13 2011, 3:10 pm

I think there was another thread like this a while back.

My DS has friends in some of the choirs. They are the nicest boys ever, and are not at all changed from the attention on stage, even though they have been featured soloists.

Ruchel

Sun, Nov 13 2011, 4:37 pm

I went to a singing school. Some kids were shy, some normal, some very very arrogant.
It is lots of work and school can suffer from it esp if the kid thinks no big deal who needs degrees I'll be a star.

Now 15 years later many of the kids I know didnt even graduate hs. Few are still in music as a job, very few live from it. A frum kid who has success can also think he'll have bigger opportunities in the secular world: Be careful.