reading "non jewish" books vs jewish books

Ruchel

Thu, Dec 08 2011, 4:42 pm

imamiri wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

Why should a girl know about these horrible details of pogroms? What for?

She should know about yichud, shomer negia, some people being nuts hence being careful. But date rape? No, unless you mean secular girls. That's just what I think of course. Also all these concepts should been discussed much before she starts shidduchim/single events whatever.

Date rape is a misnomer. Acquaintance rape is a better term. Date rape implies she is on a date. A woman can still be raped by someone she knows. It happens. Yes, I will educate my daughter on the dangers of the world. She's not going to be a bot living in a bubble.

Acquaintances are covered by yichud and negia.
I guess din rodef covers everyone.
The Tora is pretty complete bh.

imamiri

Thu, Dec 08 2011, 4:49 pm

Ruchel wrote:

imamiri wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

Acquaintances are covered by yichud and negia.
I guess din rodef covers everyone.
The Tora is pretty complete bh.

Still doesn't mean it won't happen. Life happens daily, good and bad. IMO, I'd rather have my daughter know of all the possibilities than think she is in a safe bubble. Ignorance is only comforting until something terrible happens.

zaq

Thu, Dec 08 2011, 11:16 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Why should a girl know about these horrible details of pogroms? What for?

Why should people know about horrible details of the Holocaust? What for?
Because it's part of our history. Because forewarned is forearmed. Because innocent should never be confused with ignorant. Because you can't defend yourself if you don't know what could happen.

zaq

Thu, Dec 08 2011, 11:37 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Acquaintances are covered by yichud and negia.

Not if the woman is drugged.
"A date rape drug is any drug that can be used to assist in the execution of a s-xual assault, such as date rape. Drugs used to facilitate rape may have sedative, hypnotic, dissociative, and/or amnesiac effects, and can be added to a food or drink without the victim's knowledge."

Yes, young women have to be told about the ugly side of life so they can protect themselves. Too bad nobody taught Tamar (Amnon's sister) about the knee-in-the-groin maneuver. The story might have had a different ending.

33055

Fri, Dec 09 2011, 1:51 am

Fox wrote:

Squishy wrote:

Wondering if you already know of any exciting shipwreck books you think a preteen would be interested in. If you do, would you kindly let me know. Thank you.

Can't speak for myself, but Bailey White went on in the essay to describe how she got her class reading about the Titanic as their skills developed. There are probably lots of books at an appropriate reading level on the topic.

I went to the library this afternoon. I was told there was a children's book on the Titanic which was taken out this afternoon. Where did the poster (Rifky) live who did not comb her hair who wanted to be friends with you and Zaq IRL? Did she rush to my local library? Was it just a coincidence or amother fan of yours who borrowed that book? Rolling Eyes

Anyway I took out some pirate books. My son is very excited and started reading them immediately.

I reserved the two Baily White books you recommended along with the titanic book.

Thanks again for your suggestions. I really appreciate them.

sequoia

Fri, Dec 09 2011, 2:47 am

zaq wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

Acquaintances are covered by yichud and negia.

Yep.

Girls have to be told and told again, don't leave your drink to go to the bathroom.

Ruchel

Fri, Dec 09 2011, 7:41 am

zaq wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

Why should a girl know about these horrible details of pogroms? What for?

Indeed, certain details are not for everyone. This is also the opinion of my shoa survivors relatives. You should know history, and how to defend yourself, but you don't have to know some of the details.

You can definitely tell a girl that if someone tries to touch them in an untznius way they should do _____.

zaq

Fri, Dec 09 2011, 9:56 am

sequoia wrote:

Yep.

Girls have to be told and told again, don't leave your drink to go to the bathroom.

And if your date is a total creep*, don't leave the bathrom to get your drink. Climb out the window and go home. JK.

I'm glad I'm not a young woman coming of age today. At least this was one thing we didn't have to worry about. We knew always to take money for a cab in case the guy turned out to be a creep*, to stay away from the punch at parties because there was no telling how much hooch had been sloshed into it, and to avoid homemade brownies in case marijuana had been baked into them. (Does pot require a hechsher? Not if it's the pure whole herb unmixed with other ingredients.) But at least if we had a Coke we could be pretty sure it would still be a Coke when we came back from the bathroom--and if not, we'd smell or taste the alcohol.

OT, but before I started dating I thought "mad money" was called that because you might have a mad impulse to buy something. Not till I started dating did I realize it was for a cab home in case you got mad at your date.

*"Creep" in this sense meaning someone who gives you bad vibes, not someone who is just boring, ill-mannered, immature and/or annoying.

amother

Fri, Dec 09 2011, 10:33 am

While I was in college, I ended up asleep (passed out) in the room of two guys. They said they both had their turn with me. I have no memory of this experience. Then they said they were kidding. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before or since. I think it was something like "roofies." I still do not know today if something did or did not happen. I had my clothes on. How do you have no memory of where you fell asleep? I am sure I am at least the same age as you. I was not drunk.

We had to worry, only we did not know we had to worry.

zaq

Fri, Dec 09 2011, 2:06 pm

amother wrote:

Oy. Poor you. You have no memory of falling asleep because it wasn't a normal falling asleep. It was more like a chemically-induced coma. Certain chemicals wipe out memory. The drugs used for childbirth in the first half of the 20th century produced something called "twilight sleep" that erased the memory of everything that happened. You suffered but didn't remember it later. Wonderful.

Chances are nothing did happen. Your clothes would have been on all wrong. It's not easy to dress a limp and unresponsive body, and what's the likelihood that a couple of guys would have had the skill or patience to reset your underclothes just so? You'd have noticed if your bra weren't sitting right.

Still, what an awful experience. .Sorry you went through that.