Baruch HaShem-publicly thanking HaShem!

chani8

Sun, May 20 2012, 1:28 pm

Really? I sat near my kids until they were something like 5 years old, and even then, waited until they would tell me, "Mommy, you can go now."

Not normal?? Perhaps...my biological 'baby' did co-sleep in my bed until he was 3.

Well, I guess I'll take my not normal self out of this discussion.

And OP, I'm glad to hear your "baby" is safe.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 20 2012, 1:44 pm

chani8 wrote:

Curious, what reason is it that you would sit with a child, even at the age of 5, until they fall asleep? Does that mean that from the time you brought your child home from the hospital you watched them fall asleep? Why? What does this do?
I have never heard of anyone doing such a thing. To me this seems a bit OVER protective really.

LondonIma

Sun, May 20 2012, 2:45 pm

I would like thank Hashem publicly too! I would like to thank him for giving me children I can send to get tissues on their own (and yes, my current 3 yr old is as you put it Chani, rambunctious) guess what, he goes to the bathroom by himself too- I am grateful he has those skills, and I thank Hashem for that every day. I also thank Hashem that I can put my 10 month old is his crib with a kiss and close the door behind me and know that he will put himself to sleep, and also thankful my older 2 do the same thing, does my 3 yr old jump on his bed and fall off- its probably a daily occurrence- whether I'm in the room with him or not- and sometimes he gets bumps and bruises- But I thank Hsahem I have a child who can jump.

Chani, I think we would all agree, we want to keep our children as safe as possible, but it is healthy to let them grow up-

I'm not talking about your foster children, I admire that you can do that, and I can accept that it may be different when they are not "your" kids as you say.

but why on earth would you come on here and start implying that the OP was reckless with her child?

OP- looks like your DD was very lucky in that bathroom today! you are right to thank hashem! may he continue to look after all our little ones!

chani8

Sun, May 20 2012, 3:20 pm

LondonIma, I would let a baby in a crib go to sleep on their own as well. But 3 year olds sleep in a bed and need supervision esp at night when they are tired and clumsy and can't be expected to obey. Plus they don't fall asleep nearly as easily as a baby, and are actually more needy.

As far as OP, the cabinet not assembled but sitting behind the toilet seemed a bit risky to me, and the blood all over the place was a bit upsetting to read. In answer to your quesiont, that is why I suggested more boundaries. I guess I was just upset by it all. We can't rely on miracles.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 20 2012, 3:23 pm

chani8 wrote:

But children need to learn to be independent. I know when my daughter started sleeping in a bed, we bought a guard rail for a few months, to help her acclimate. Then we took it away and put a mattress on the floor for a few weeks. She was fine. Why would anyone have to sit there till she falls asleep? This is something that they have to learn to do by themselves, really. Otherwise, they never will do it on their own.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Sun, May 20 2012, 3:36 pm

chani8 wrote:

As far as OP, the cabinet not assembled but sitting behind the toilet seemed a bit risky to me, and the blood all over the place was a bit upsetting to read. In answer to your quesiont, that is why I suggested more boundaries. I guess I was just upset by it all. We can't rely on miracles.

Just to clarify.. I was specifying that it, for the sake of assembly, is technically 2 parts. The top part was (or so I thought) situated securely on top of the bottom part, and has been there for 6 or 7 years. She either grabbed it and pulled so it fell, or she started falling and grabbed it to try to catch herself.

Thank you everyone for your support

chani8

Sun, May 20 2012, 3:46 pm

chocolate chips wrote:

And just btw how do you know it was because OPs daughter was wild in the bathroom that it fell on her?

I never said she was wild. I said bathrooms are dangerous for little kids to be in unsupervised.

chocolate chips wrote:

Maybe if op or her husband would have gone it it would have fallen on them, maybe it was on its last hinge?!

Maybe. But that would be negligent, don't you think? Either way, to me it reqiores a second thought past B"H, called 'safety first.' Or maybe that's a first thought, "safety first."

But you are all correct. We cant protect our children from everything.

AlwaysGrateful

Sun, May 20 2012, 3:51 pm

chani8 wrote:

But 3 year olds sleep in a bed and need supervision esp at night when they are tired and clumsy and can't be expected to obey.

Then wouldn't you need to stay with them all night? Let's say they wake up in the middle of the night? They're even more tired and clumsy then.

My son fell out of bed once that I know of. It was in the middle of the night, and it really traumatized him. So? We thank Hashem it was nothing worse, and move on. It was recently; he was probably already four at that point. Poor kid, his evil mother doesn't sleep on the floor next to his bed to break his fall in case he rolls over too far.

chani8 wrote:

Plus they don't fall asleep nearly as easily as a baby, and are actually more needy.

Maybe yours don't. Could it be because you're constantly hovering over them? My kids don't fall asleep easily when I'm in the same room as them either. But when I'm not, they're often fast asleep after not long at all. Unless they're not really tired?

Kids need to feel that they're independent. My ds at age three (close to four) was already saying, "Mommy, don't come with me into the bathroom. I can do it myself!" And he would, and he was so proud of it. Obviously I was within hearing distance and checked on him if it took more than a few minutes. But a mischevious 6 year old could get into trouble in the bathroom if he really wanted to. How long do you sit in the bathroom while your kids "go"? Until what age? Wow, it's like potty training for years!

LondonIma

Sun, May 20 2012, 4:04 pm

hijacking the post a little bit- alwaysgrateful- your comment about toilet training for years really hit me hard and I could use your advice. My son turned 3 right before pesach- he has been toilet trained for about 6-7 months and has been going independently for a good 4-5, BUT... since he's started wearing tzitzis its like going back to basics- any one have any advice for this? How can I get him to move his strings out of the way properly- he isnt going on them thankfully, but because we told him how important it was not to get them messy, he's always asking one of us to take him- which of course we do.. but this boy could pish for britain, and its driving me CRAZy!!!!!

AlwaysGrateful

Sun, May 20 2012, 4:16 pm

LondonIma wrote:

I would start a new thread on this.

For the record, though, you could show him how to roll up his tzitzis inside of his shirt. Even if he rolls it all the way up for the first while, it will get him used to it.

I'm assuming he's standing for this?

It could also be that he could do it, knows how to do it, but is just nervous. Maybe try moving the tzitzis aside and then putting them in his hand to show him how to do it for a few days first, and then encourage him to do it while you watch and give him the thumbs up when he does it right? A little bit of scaffolding might help him feel more comfortable with being able to do it on his own.

Ruchel

Sun, May 20 2012, 4:26 pm

In fact the few times I had to have dd in the same room as me (hotel) it took forever for her to sleep.
I personally don't even envision the thing, staying there and doing nothing, going slowly crazy of boredom, while my kid is obviously stimulated by an audience... I don't know, quality time matters, not long hours like that. What