toddler tantrums help

amother

Thu, Dec 29 2011, 8:40 pm

Okay so I know I'm the billionth person in the world to be dealing with my 2.5 year old dd's tantrums but I need some encouragement/support/advice etc... She is my oldest (and we had a baby girl 2 months ago). She seems to love the new baby but her tantrums are driving me completely insane. There are times when I literally have thoughts of kicking her (don't worry I would never hurt her but she makes me THAT mad sometimes) when she starts screaming or completely wrecking the house, or throwing toys everywhere or pulling off her clothing and shoes as I'm trying to get her dressed etc... These behaviors were going on before the baby was born but now they are getting worse. I guess it is a reaction to having a new sister but it took me a while to come to that conclusion cuz she never shows any outward negativity towards the baby, she actually is always so loving and gentle with the baby. Anyways, how do I deal with tantrums and crazy behavior that makes me crazy sometimes??

Pinkerella

Thu, Dec 29 2011, 8:47 pm

Is she getting enough sleep? My kids have worse tantrums and more often when they don't sleep long enough (even if you think it's enough she may need more). I have one that I noticed would tantrum if she skipped lunch (I didn't skip giving it to her. She just sometime would take a bite and leave the rest and later would tantrum. It got to the point that if I realized she hadn't eaten much I offered her food - although in general I am totally against using food for comfort. This though wasn't comfort it was hunger).

In general, ignore the tantrum. You cannot reason with a tantruming child. If it's really bad, put her in the crib to calm down. I had one kid that needed that. She needed a place to calm down and regroup.

flowerpower

Thu, Dec 29 2011, 8:49 pm

Show her that you don't get phased by it and remain calm (at least on the outside).
Tell her once that when she is ready to be quiet she can come tell you and walk away. Do what you have to. They watch out what your reaction will be.
Once she is calm and she comes over give her a hug and talk to her.
Show her that the baby loves her and when she is around with baby tell the baby how much you love toddler and other positive stuff about her. That makes them proud.
Being proactive is best. If you see she is going to have a tantrum try to distract her with something

amother

Sun, Jun 10 2012, 12:23 pm

I know this is an old thread but OP, what worked for you???
I am going through the same thing and my toddler, while loving to the newborn, is tantruming OUT OF CONTROL and I am ready to ship him off to China.

PLEASE, PLEASE, someone out there help me keep my sanity???