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Forum -> Children's Health
2.5 year old DS just lost a fingertip :(



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bigsis144




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 3:26 pm
Just woke up from finally being able to take a nap after being with my two-and-a-half year old in the ER all night for emergency surgery, and dealing with all the emotions after being stoic and solid... just venting, and looking for advice, and maybe hoping that my experience will act as a warning? I don't know.

The floor in our apartment is uneven and our couch (very large, very heavy) was uneven, so we placed a wooden block under one corner to help it balance. DH was sitting on the couch and saw DS trying to pull the block out and warned him, "No no no, don't touch the block under the couch. The couch is heavy..." but DH didn't get up quickly enough to physically stop DS, and the entire weight of the couch fell down on DS's hand and the next thing was saw was blood and DS screaming in terror, shock and pain.

Some graphic details in description below, not for the faint of heart and stomach.

Hidden: 

I ran to get a wet washcloth and DH pulled the couch off of DS's hand, and b"H he kept it together enough to get DS's hand out and wrapped up in the washcloth before giving DS to me and going off to throw up and call Hatzala/911. (Good thing he dropped out of medical school to go into nice, clean theoretical chemistry...) I slowly unwrapped it to assess the damage, and saw that BARUCH HASHEM, BARUCH HASHEM (tears springing to my eyes as I write this) it was limited to ONLY ONE FINGER, but that finger was broken at the tip, with bone sticking out where the nailbed had been crushed and was hanging on to the rest of the finger by only bits of skin.


Hatzala wasn't picking up (this was about 10:30pm motzei Shabbos, don't know if that's typical), so we called 911, and baruch Hashem, DH has just finished making havdala and I was packing a diaper bag for the hospital when the EMTs and a couple of police officers showed up. DH and I rode with DS in the ambulance to the hospital, and DS was still so scared that even riding in an ambulance with the sirens on didn't excite him (his FAVORITE thing ever, besides Elmo, is police cars/ambulances).

We had to wait an hour in the ER before seeing a doctor, and B"H DS was pretty calm by then. Finally, they at least gave him some pain killers and antibiotics. One of the nurses gave him a glass of apple juice, and that was a new treat for him.

A team of plastic surgeons came in (looked like an attending, 2 residents and 2 students), and after looking at the injury sent us for xrays to see how much of DS's fingertip could be saved. We even sent the xrays to a pediatric hand specialist in Manhattan, but they all agreed that the way the bone had been broken meant that they couldn't reconstruct the fingertip, and would only be able to suture the skin up and over the bone.

And worst of all, they couldn't do the surgery immediately because DS had drunk that cup of apple juice in the waiting room! The anesthesiologist said the sedation had to be done on an empty stomach. So we slept in the emergency room until 5:30am (baruch Hashem, they found an empty room where we could turn the lights off, and DS and I could share the bed while DH slept on a chair), when BARUCH HASHEM, the surgery was quick, easy and uncomplicated. After a few hours in recovery, they unhooked all the IVs and sent us home. We have a follow-up appointment with the doctors tomorrow morning.


So, what is the lesson I learn from this?

Was the couch really unsafe, or was it a freak accident? How can I get DH to stop blaming himself? I've never seen him so shaken up before... while we said tehillim during the surgery, DH admitted to me that he'd had a dream during his Shabbos afternoon nap that Yom Kippur was coming...

We both feel a sense of loss, and wonder if there was anything we could have done to save DS's finger more than what was done. From now on, DS's left ring finger ends at about the top knuckle -- he'll never have the nail and fingertip back. The physical reminder of this incident will be much more obvious and permanent than a worse injury like breaking a bone, and while I am SO grateful to Hashem for the relative minor-ness of the injury, I feel like I need to do SOMETHING. I feel like I don't want to go to work for the next few days, I just want to stay home and hold my little baby and tell him over and over again how much I love him.

Okay, thanks for listening. Just had to get it out there.
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Delores




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 3:38 pm
I'm so sorry to hear. I don't think this is the kind of thing any parent could predict and prevent. Maybe after reading your story some of us moms will look around the house to see if there's anything we can do to make our homes safer. I think I will do that.
Good luck to you and your family. May you only have good things happen to you.
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Sudy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 3:41 pm
double post

Last edited by Sudy on Sun, Jun 03 2012, 3:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Sudy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 3:42 pm
HUGS to you OP. Besides reassuring dh there is not much you can do. I agree about taking a mini vacation and staying home with your son to recover from the trauma.
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LondonIma




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 3:42 pm
so sorry to hear the nightmare evening you all had- Try and remember that hind sight is 20/20- the poster above me is right, the best we can do is use stories like this to take stock of things in our houses and try to prevent accidents like this from happening again. But try not to beat your self up- its not going to do any of you any good-
give your boy an extra big squeeze for all the Imamothers on here!
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 3:44 pm
Wow! My son had a similar accident, but it was on seder night, and it was also the night I was scheduled to go to Mikva. (I had arranged with the mikva lady to go after the seder.) We had about 100 people at our seder and it was in a hall. Halfway through shluchan aruch my 10 year old chopped off half his finger by shutting a door on it and we had to take him to the hospital. Some of the guests were almost graduated med students so one of them came with me holding my hysterical sons finger together. A policeman took us, siren blaring(!).

the hospital told us to come back the next morning and he was sewn together.

now the finger is as good as new - just a few stitches visible.

(of course I could not call the ML so when I cam back at 1am I went to the mikva and she was waiting patiently.)
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 3:46 pm
The poor boy, and you poor parents! May he have a refuah shleima. Please don't beat yourselves up. Sometimes, the unexpected happens.
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hadasa




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 4:21 pm
No human being can foresee and prevent every single possible occurrence. Some things are meant to happen, we just don't know why.
Refuah Sheleimah and much strength to you and your son.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 4:33 pm
Oy, refuah sheleima!
If it makes you feel any better, my father also lost the top of his finger on his left hand and no one ever notices it.
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Liebs




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 4:38 pm
HUGS to you, so sorry to hear all the truama you went through.

I have a cousin who had similar situation with his finger from a door. I remember it so vividly and everyone was so worried about future how his hand will look etc.
PS He is close to 30, married witha kid and really good looking!!

So I know right now is so hard for you and will take a while to adjust to the "new finger" but iy'h he'll grow to be a great kid/son/husband etc even with the finger!
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chocolate chips




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 5:09 pm
Oy Im so sorry for you op!

First of all make sure that both you and dh know it was not your fault! In fact your couch was probably safer with the piece to make it level, how were you to know that ds would take it out? kids can take apart the most safest things!

My brother had this 4 times! Im not kidding. From when he was 1 till he was 3 he trapped his LH ring finger, then his RH then his LH AGAIN and then his entire left hand! The first time it was just his nail off but the second time my mother had to go rummaging in the hinges of the door to find the tip of his finger!
The only thing that still reminds him is that when it gets too cold or too hot he gets intense pain. Otherwise he is a bochur and absolutely perfect Smile

Seriously. It will take time to get over the trauma, have some calm relaxed evenings together, wine, baths and quiet time. You will probably remember it in a year more than ds but that is life. Kids carry on, parents have a scratch on their hearts lol.

You are perfect, you did what you could and you care for your ds!

Hug
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 6:26 pm
((HUGS))
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4Sisters




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 10:02 pm
You handled a very, very difficult situation very, very well.

I think it's really reasonable to just want to be w. your ds for a few days.....

Hang in there. You did a great job.
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canadamom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 03 2012, 10:49 pm
I had this as a baby on my pinky finger. Hashem is amazing!!! I was also 2 at the time, I don't remember a thing (except I have some recollection of being behind a wall getting an x-ray???) anyway, the skin grew back, I have a wierd nail, but other than the manicure lady, noone really notices, it is shorter than the other pinky, but I'm fine b'h!!
your son will be ok, but for you it was definitely traumatic! Hug
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jun 13 2012, 9:38 pm
was the nail saved or will he have no nail?
I ask b/c my father had the top of one of his fingers chopped off in a machine, couldnt find the piece to reattach. so they just sewed the top closed. after a while he noticed that the root of his nail was still there, and it grew a nail. but b/c the root of the nail was at the tip of his finger now, the nail grew in very strange. and still looks funny.

if he will not have a nail growing there, its a lot better than having a funny looking nail that looks like a pencil growing out of the top of his finger. so hopefully this will provide a bit to be grateful for, in an overall very sad situation.
and remember that while you are upset now, one day your son will be telling this story to all his friends and showing off his finger and getting lots of attention for it. he may end up getting a thrill out of it. something similar happened to my dh when he was 2, though they managed to reattach the tip, but his finger still looks shorter, and he gets a thrill out of sharing the story. (though when he was very young he was embarrassed of it, he learned to outgrow that)
Hug

anon b/c of personal identifying details
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