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Life can be hard for organized people



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amother


 

Post Thu, Jul 05 2012, 6:05 am
ok this is a vent.

Two weeks ago some girls asked me if they can come for Shabbos, and I agreed. I did not invite them, they approached me. I have guests a lot.
Every Tuesday, I make a menu for the weeks, and on Wednesday I shop. On Thursday I cook Shabbos. So I made a beautiful, girl friendly menu which uses tons of fruits and vegetables. I started to cook a few hours ago in between holding my colicky 3 month old and rocking him to sleep.
The girl called me just now and cancelled. She gave me some lame excuse and she only called me cuz I emailed her. I of course said, no problem, it's fine, my pleasure, etc. but I am really not happy. I am leaving the country for 5 weeks next week so I can't even use the ingredients I bought for next week. Now I am scrambling for other guests so at least my food doesn't go to waste.
It's so annoying, and this happens to me more than once. I find that ppl don't get that some ppl are actually organized, plan ahead, and really put effort into things. Now I am stuck with so much beautiful, fresh food that may go to waste. I worked hard to plan it, shop for it, and now am cooking it so at least the ingredients get used.
Crying Crying Crying Crying
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 05 2012, 6:44 am
I agree that's annoying!

Can you freeze the food so that it will be used on another Shabbat?
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happybeingamom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 05 2012, 7:05 am
Perhaps there is a mother who had a baby/someone sick and you can send the food for shabbos?
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SingALong




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 05 2012, 1:05 pm
I agree with the freezing, that's what I often do when I'm stuck with extra food. or find a local soup kitchen to give it away to or a neighbor in need.

I also learned not to work too hard for guests. I also shop on wednesdays and don't do well with last minute decisions to go away or have guests. I try to be more flexible with my things. like if I already cooked up sweet potato for a friday night dish, then if guests cancel I just mash, place in tiny plastic containers in the freezer to send iwth my baby to the babysitter. try to find ways to use your stuff.
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momtherapist




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 05 2012, 1:28 pm
so annoying and thoughtless! I would def either freeze or give to someone who needs rather than look for guests that will be more work for you to do.
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grin




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 05 2012, 10:26 pm
happybeingamom wrote:
Perhaps there is a mother who had a baby/someone sick and you can send the food for shabbos?
this is the best idea since the OP said that it's lot of fresh produce that won't freeze.

aside form that, you can tell yourself that you get the sachar for the mitzva, because you definitely did your part. but I hate to say that girls are notorious for this, especially those you don't know personally. it may be wise not to overextend tell yourself so much next time.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Jul 06 2012, 2:05 am
OP here. I ended up inviting another couple to come, and giving some of the food to a lady who just had a baby. And yes, I think girls are just awful in this area. I have boys all the time and if they cancel (which is rare!!!) they find someone else!

I anyway enjoy having boys better- they eat everything up and show that they're enjoying and leave no leftovers, and don't have weird food hangups! (Although I have plenty of weird food hangups and diets, but I'm hypocritical like that...) Girls pick at their food but gobble dessert...mostly the candy platter which they themselves bring. I always feel bad that girls have a harder time finding meals here in Yerushalayim but I totally see why people prefer boys- I feel they are better guests....The meals are funny and fun and you feel like they really were happy to come and eat, which is a Jewish mother's favorite feeling Smile

Also, as I said in my title, I really feel that the world is more used to non-organized people. Like how the magazines come out with the BEST recipes literally two days before yom tov, when I have already finished cooking, cleaning and flower arranging.... and then I'm like, why couldn't they print that a month ago? Rolling Eyes LOL

I guess I'm a little to organized and OCD for my own good... Wink
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 06 2012, 6:01 am
OP, glad it worked out. I'm a little surprised the girls called you 2 weeks ahead--one of my big gripes is that the young people here are so...let's be kinder than they deserve and call them "spontaneous"...that they start planning for Shabbat around 9.00 Thursday night. I've had people call me Friday morning to ask if they can come for a meal--and oh, is it ok if they bring a friend? How about two friends? Grrrr.
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