My Tuition Assistance Experience

yaeli83

Mon, Jul 02 2012, 2:18 pm

Refuah shleima.
Is this something that maybe an organization like chai lifeline could help out with? I know chai lifeline specifically deals with children but maybe they could even call the schools on your behalf or help fund-raise for your family? Just an idea.

Tamiri

Mon, Jul 02 2012, 2:29 pm

I am shocked. Someone paying full tuition for years has first rights, in my opinion. Perhaps they misunderstood the severity of your situation? In any event, I think that you need to reduce stress as much as possible. If there is any way, have a well-respected public figure in the community do the negotiations with the school on your behalf, to keep you from humiliation, heartache and stress. In fact, I think you should pay nothing until your situation is stabilized. I know that the school isn't a charity fund but there has got to be a way for this to work without you having to beg and cry for mercy.
I wish your husband a full recovery, refuah shleyma.

momtherapist

Mon, Jul 02 2012, 4:16 pm

oy!!! refuah shelaima!!! that's so appalling!! it's not as if you were asking for a free ride. you should not take this sitting down. you should definitely take this up somewhere. this is not acceptable. please report back and let us know that they're taking care of this, and that your dh is doing better, b'eh.

JollyMommy

Mon, Jul 02 2012, 8:23 pm

I can't believe it, that's terrible.

this is something you could go to the newspapers with if you were so inclined (though you probably don't have the time/energy/desire for that).

ask again. it's unacceptable.

I'm impressed you're even offering to pay that much- you could've said it's up in the air right now.

lots of hatzalcha. I hope your husband reacts very well to the treatment and IYH makes a quick and full recovery.

amother

Thu, Jul 05 2012, 11:38 am

OP here. Thanks for your support and suggestions. We are working on some of your ideas. It's all so humiliating.

I read so often here about how I *need* a Starbucks every day, or I *need* a vacation every few years. I'm always careful not to judge, but now my Dh *needs* surgery and other treatment. I naively thought the schools would say go, focus on getting better, you'll pay what you can. But they have no money left for us, and they are distrustful at a deep deep level.

Makes the emotional side of this disease so much more difficult.

Can't tell you how valuable your virtual support is. Really helps.

Factory Girl

Fri, Jul 06 2012, 10:31 am

oy
im so sorry to hear about this, may g-d be with ur family and bring a swift refuah shelema!!

u know reading post after post after post of how tutition is killing families... my g-d im sooo petrefied of putting my kids to school!!!,
this is soo awfull...

yummymummy

Fri, Jul 06 2012, 12:22 pm

OP there is absolutely no need to feel embarrassed or humiliated about asking for a tuition reduction in your circumstances. An illness in the family is exactly why scholarships should be available.

Unfortunately as another poster mentioned, I believe tuition reduction requests have turned into complex negotiations. The schools may have thought you were low balling them with your offer and responded accordingly. I would not be a bit surprised if they've had this experience with other parents. Please hold your head up high and appeal, providing support for exactly what you can afford to pay.

I also think that the school which expects you to work 10 hours in their office is completely off the mark, you have a sick husband and 5 kids to take care of on top of your full time job. Converting your scholarships (and ALL scholarships, IMO) into loans to be paid off WHEN you can afford to is a better idea. I'YH your husband should have a complete refuah shelaima b’karov and you will be able to put this behind you.