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Treating the Symptoms - the poll



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Who told me this and why? (Answer to be revealed on Wednesday, bli neder)
My father-in-law, he was using it as a mashal for marriage  
 50%  [ 5 ]
"Susan," she was sharing a traumatic experience  
 0%  [ 0 ]
My teenage son, he was telling a(nother) bad joke  
 10%  [ 1 ]
A homeopathic doctor, he wanted me to use his services  
 40%  [ 4 ]
Total Votes : 10



Ribbie Danzinger




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2006, 4:51 am
There was once a lady (let's call her Susan) who suffered from ringing in her ears. She tried to ignore it, but it just wouldn't go away. She went to a number of doctors and experts, but nobody could help her. After some "doctor shopping" Susan was recommended a specialist who, she was told, may be able to help her.
Susan made an appointment with the specialist (let's call him Dr. Harry)who was actually one of the foremost brain surgeons in her country. She entered his surgery in high hopes and told him her story.
Dr. Harry listened intently and then told Susan that he thought he could help her solve her problem. He explained that she would have to undergo brain surgery to remove a part of the brain and after that she would have no more problems.
Susan was dismayed. Brain surgery?
"Will brain surgery really stop the ringing in my ears?" She inquired.
"No," replied Dr. Harry in all honesty, "but it just won't worry you any more."
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amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2006, 5:14 am
I Like it!!
Great point...
Especially important when a parent/educator is dealing with a child. When you see him misbehaving- remember it's a reaction and you should deal with the action not the reaction-- look to the root and you'll find WHY he is acting that way, and only then can you deal with the problem. Dealing with the Reaction is just a bandaid, it doesn't fix the actual problem nor does it make it disappear, it's always there even it's hidden by a thick screen.
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non-conformist




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2006, 6:26 am
LOL LOL
Great story, and very profound.... thanx for sharing
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amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2006, 10:14 am
amother wrote:
I Like it!!
Great point...
Especially important when a parent/educator is dealing with a child. When you see him misbehaving- remember it's a reaction and you should deal with the action not the reaction-- look to the root and you'll find WHY he is acting that way, and only then can you deal with the problem. Dealing with the Reaction is just a bandaid, it doesn't fix the actual problem nor does it make it disappear, it's always there even it's hidden by a thick screen.


1-Often this thick screen is so thick, the smartest and most gifted of us can't get it right. Aren't there often many diagnoses for the same issue? Ask 5 Rebbes, psychologists , you'll get 5 different opinions, based on that person's individual past experiences- similar to the Rorschach inkblot tests.

2-Also, do you agree with the expression "Ain Bayis She'ain Shum Mais"- defined as EVERY house has a skeleten in its' closet. There is no perfect house. Therefore, every house has a potential for a serious problem. It's just a matter of Mazel that the Mais in each specific house doesn't cause devastating problems in that house, where it definitely has the potential to do so.

3-All psychologists agree that marital discord affects children very strongly. Is there a house where children have never seen parents disagree? Do we not agree that some, because they are more sensitive than others, will be more harmed psychologically from a small infraction than others from a larger one?

There's only Hashem to turn to. After all attempts, it's best to make the best of all situations. Every home has a situation. We're only problem free after 120.
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2006, 11:38 am
Quote:
2-Also, do you agree with the expression "Ain Bayis She'ain Shum Mais"- defined as EVERY house has a skeleten in its' closet. There is no perfect house. Therefore, every house has a potential for a serious problem. It's just a matter of Mazel that the Mais in each specific house doesn't cause devastating problems in that house, where it definitely has the potential to do so.

I dont know how or why you can possibly compare all houses to have the same potential for a serious problem.
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2006, 11:55 am
amother wrote:
1-Often this thick screen is so thick, the smartest and most gifted of us can't get it right. Aren't there often many diagnoses for the same issue? Ask 5 Rebbes, psychologists , you'll get 5 different opinions, based on that person's individual past experiences- similar to the Rorschach inkblot tests.


I think they often come up with the same diagnosis.

Quote:
2-Also, do you agree with the expression "Ain Bayis She'ain Shum Mais"- defined as EVERY house has a skeleten in its' closet. There is no perfect house. Therefore, every house has a potential for a serious problem.


Really? I suppose. And every person can possibly slip and fall.

Quote:
It's just a matter of Mazel that the Mais in each specific house doesn't cause devastating problems in that house, where it definitely has the potential to do so.


Mazal, hmmm. Okay, guess there's no point in individuals, families, schools, communities working on improving then. Why bother when it's "just a matter of mazal."

Quote:
Do we not agree that some, because they are more sensitive than others, will be more harmed psychologically from a small infraction than others from a larger one?


No.
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Ribbie Danzinger




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 22 2006, 4:33 pm
O.K. I am going to disclose the correct answer to the poll. Please hold tight to your seats.

It was actually "Susan" who told me this story.

Absolutely true! She told me that she went into his surgery and he showed her an album of "before" and "after" photographs, he pointed out how before the operation people looked worried and after they were all happily smiling. She said it was a frightening experience because the smiling people looked "as if they had no neshama." Those were her exact words. She fled from his office in horror.

I'm glad you people thought otherwise.
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Sofia2




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 22 2006, 4:38 pm
wow.
And whats interesting, Ribbie, is how nobody voted for that option!
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Ribbie Danzinger




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 22 2006, 5:01 pm
Right. But then only six people voted.
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jewgal84




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 22 2006, 5:10 pm
Regardless of the real answer, I still go along with the option that it can be used as a mashal, not only specifically for marriage, but life in general too Twisted Evil !!
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Ribbie Danzinger




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 22 2006, 5:16 pm
No doubt about it, Jewgal Wink .
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