Bitachon regarding money & Bitachon regarding weight los

ora_43

Fri, Oct 12 2012, 7:44 am

I think there's more of an emphasis on bitachon with money because Jewish views on hishtadlut differ more greatly from the Western norm far more regarding parnassa than regarding weight loss (and many other things).

In most frum communities it's normal to marry relatively young and to not wait until finishing all higher education before having kids, to have several kids, to give maaser, to not work on Shabbat, to spend more for nice food for Shabbat, etc. Those things don't all contradict Western values, but they aren't what most would recommend for those who want to guarantee financial comfort.

And some frum communities go much further and generally avoid higher education and many (/most) career paths, and encourage one partner or the other to stay out of the workforce.

When you have people following that kind of life living side by side with others who marry in their 30s, wouldn't dream of having kids before finishing their Masters, worry about affording more than two kids on $150,000 + per year, etc - it makes sense that people address the disparity and talk about why they think their approach is the right one.

When it comes to weight loss, the Jewish approach is completely in line with the general Western approach. Don't eat more than your body needs, and eat what's healthy and not what's tasty. Of course there's still room for bitachon, people just don't feel such a need to talk about it. Is my guess.

zaq

Fri, Oct 12 2012, 7:55 am

amother wrote:

My weight has left my doctors and dieticians baffled. I eat very few calories of only healthful food. .. I exercise daily. I'm 40-50 lbs. overweight.

...my metabolism is virtually nonexistent. So yes, I daven each and every day to Hashem that He should help my doctors figure out what the problem is and how to fix it as I get sent from test to test.

I feel for you. You are evidently a sufferer of what we used to call "glandular" obesity which was what we called anything unexplained by poor eating habits. This is clearly a medical problem and something to daven about. You are also clearly doing your hishtadlus and all that's left is bitachon.

But realize that you are a fairly rare phenomenon. The very vast majority of overweight people are overweight because they eat too much of the wrong things and/or move too little. Bitachon doesn't help there. Changing habits does.

PinkFridge

Fri, Oct 12 2012, 8:04 am

amother wrote:

My weight has left my doctors and dieticians baffled. I eat very few calories of only healthful food. My lunch is a bowl of homemade vegetable soup or fresh salad. My dinner is 1 piece of plain chicken or fish. A snack is a vegetable, fruit, or yogurt. I don't eat carbs. I don't eat sugar. I eat a very small amount of fat - what's in the chicken or fish. I exercise daily. I'm 40-50 lbs. overweight.

I actually posted about this recently but the only thing they know is that my metabolism is virtually nonexistent. So yes, I daven each and every day to Hashem that He should help my doctors figure out what the problem is and how to fix it as I get sent from test to test.

And to those who wrote calories in = calories out, please. If that were the case with everyone, I would be a size 2. Are you one of those patronizing people who come over to me and say something ridiculous, like, "Have you tried cutting out coca cola?" Or, "Maybe stay away from cake?" Thank you, Sherlock. I haven't had soda or cake since before I can remember. Please remember this the next time you tell someone it's simple. Rolling Eyes

Probably not necessary to ask, but I assume you've had a full thyroid workup, not just TSH?

PinkFridge

Fri, Oct 12 2012, 8:05 am

zaq wrote:

TranquilityAndPeace wrote:

Why don't people ever tell dieters that they're doing too much hishtadlus, to back off their salad-eating and exercising, and just trust that God will make them lose the amount of weight they're supposed to lose this month?

Because that would defy the natural laws that G-d created to run the world. There are many faith-based diet books and plans on the market, most of them Christian, of course; maybe the so-called "Rambam diet" qualifies as well. It's not a weight-loss plan per se, but presumably if one eats the way Rambam says one should, one will eventually reach a healthy weight. Healthy; not necessarily stylish.

I think, going back to my keys statement, that yes, there are natural laws of cause and effect. Parnassa is something different.
Maybe this is a corollary to this discussion: Lo alecha hamlacha ligmor, v'lo ata ben chorin lehibatel memenah....

amother

Fri, Oct 12 2012, 8:12 am

I'm the amother that's 40-50 lbs. overweight for no understandable reason. Thank you everyone for your replies. I wasn't actually gearing my answer to any specific poster, it was just a sort of friendly reminder to never assume or judge or call something simple because it's just not always that simple.

Thanks! And I apologize for hijacking the thread and going off on a tangent when my original intention was just to say that yes, people do daven regarding weight loss.

etky

Fri, Oct 12 2012, 8:27 am

amother wrote:

What you are going through sounds like a very difficult nisayon. To subsist on so little and have nothing to show for it must be the height of frustration. Keep on hoping and praying though. Every day there are new advances in this area (that affects so many). I think the key, aside from davening of course, is to find a doctor who is very up to date on all the latest studies and treatments. Also -maybe a support group for people in your situation so you don't feel so alone with this.

amother

Fri, Oct 12 2012, 9:15 am

This is a topic that I always get confused about.
I spent most my life praying and hating g-d for my chubbiness.
I remember high school mandatory Prayer behind my siddur saying I hate you please G-d make me thin. Make me have normal food thoughts. Let me stop at one or not at all. I prayed for anorexia.

Then I finally lost it as an adult but went too far and now deal with bulimia and similar symptoms.
I have been in Oa and it doesn't teach you are in control they say it is like having diabetes it is an illness you have not something you choose. On the other hand just like an illness you would take med. The medication for this disease of food addiction are the tools you have to LEARN to develop.
Ex. Calling someone, sharing and getting out what is wrong.
Ex. Write it out so its not inside.
Ex. learning to love yourself (therapy or whatever self-help works for you) and place value on yourself.
learn food can be abused and learn to relax in different pampering and healthy ways.

amother

Sat, Oct 13 2012, 4:29 pm

I am also over weight and I don't eat all day. I've been heavy/chubby since I was too young to be controlling my own food intake and was eating the same food as my slim siblings.

Money has also been an issue in my married life. I have tried working on bitachon etc.

Recently I discovered the book "you can heal your life" by Louise L. Hay. I have read the book through and am starting to do the exercises that will hopefully attract money into my life and help me lose the weight. (she beleives that weight is carried as emotional protection and dieting can get rid of it but will only come back if the underlying issue is not dealt with).