My son's energy is killing me

amother

Thu, Dec 27 2012, 12:53 pm

The problem isn't just an "energy" issue. It's a "respecting the needs of others" issue.
He pushes to violate practically every boundary.
He shrieks at night that he's scared in his room and runs into our room 52 times till we collapse and let him stay.
He sits on the toilet for more than an hour at a time before school starts, making everyone wait to use the bathroom (torturous on a daily basis, besides the stress of trying to get him ready on time).
He begs endlessly for someone to accompany and stay with him in the bathroom as he's scared to be alone.
He touches and takes tons of things belonging to others without permission.
He can't or won't focus on his homework without someone sitting with him prodding him on, which can take more than two hours.
He's a good child deep down. I just don't know how to guide him anymore.
Consequences and behavior mod don't have a long term effect.
Add to all of that the constant movement, noise, distractions, and you've got one overwhelmed, exhausted mommy.

amother

Thu, Dec 27 2012, 9:48 pm

I totaly understand and feel for you.
I have a 5 yo ds who is just like what u describe ur ds to be.
You didn't mention how old ur son is or if he was evaluated so I cant give much advice here, but, with my son who WAS evaluated, we were told that even though he is ADHD/ODD and has a speech/language disorder, He doesn't need to be medicated as long as the school (mainstream with a para), and our home can handle it. We're trying to push for time here and as long as it works we're pushing it.
I think one of the big reasons that I DO handle it, is the fact thta I know that when I decide we could always try medication.
That in itself gives me the power to push a little farther.
On the other hand, when dh comes home and we're having a harder day he always says 'why dont we just give him the meds?!"
So, why dont you get him evaluated and see what other pple have to say?
What does the school say?

also, my biggest lifesaver is the girl that comes to me twice a week for an hour in the afternoon. When she comes I either spend some time with one of my other children or close the door to my room to catch my breath. My kids all love when she comes and even though this ds has his issues, thats exactly the reason she's coming and she knew that before she started so she is prepared to deal with his behavior. (you'd be surprised but there are pple who enjoy doing such kinds of chessed thta are challenging )

One more thing, My ds also does the bathroom thing thing, but I never give in to him!
I put the timer sometimes and if he isnt done it too bad. when everyone else is done he can have it back!
It sounds crazy but the stricter I am with enforcing normal behavior the more normal he is strating to behave.
I dp know that by me telling him time up isn't gonna work and I was wiling to put in the fight for the long run,todays days it barely happens because he knows he'll end up fighting/screaming and not getting his way untill its his turn again (and I do this with most things that he will do against normal behavior and BH we are seeing tons of progress)
Good Luck and let us know how it goes!