I need to put my 8 yo on a diet.

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2013, 10:29 am

My 8yo ds was never thin and I was fine with that. He has a bottomless pit, though. I need to tell him to stop eating when I see he had enough especially when it's the wrong food. He does listen. A few months ago he went on vacation with his father. He gained a lot of weight. His clothing does not fit him anymore. I've been trying to continue to tell him when to stop, but it doesn't seem like enough. I think he needs to go on a diet. I guess I could go to my pediatrician, but I'm here now and I ask what can I do. He is willing.

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2013, 10:54 am

I think you need to see a ped to rule out legitimate medical problems.

Then, if ped agrees to "putting him on a diet", please don't call it that. It will make him feel awful. Just tell him "we are all trying to eat healthier". He shouldn't be singled out. Let the whole family make changes together. If it's more about portions, and your family is already eating healthfully, then think about helping him to drink lots of water between meals, and have a soup before every meal (this helps feel full). Actually veggie soup can be a great snack when he complains of hunger. Low cal yet filling.

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Apr 08 2013, 10:54 am

My notions are different. Have proper good food around the house, get him into some kind of physical activity, and be quiet and wait. His growing will solve it all.

A growing boy eats like the Mississippi river at flood and you should not say one word about it. They are building deep interior muscle and bone you can't see, and they have to do it and they are right to do it. Remarks will only cut and hurt. Shush.

Yes, talk to the pediatrician, but with the kid not in earshot.

Dieting as most people understand it triggers starvation-prevention mechanisms in the body that cause it to stockpile calories, not spend them. That is utterly logical, and a legitimate survival mechanism we are endowed with.

The self consciousness is worse than the weight. He may always be chunky, but that's no crime.

The more you make a big deal, the worse it will be.

Last edited by Dolly Welsh on Mon, Apr 08 2013, 10:56 am; edited 1 time in total

vintagebknyc

Mon, Apr 08 2013, 10:55 am

amother wrote:

take him to the pediatrician. most children overweight children are overweight because they're eating too much--so why is he eating too much? a normal growth spurt? a thyroid problem? a psychological issue? you won't know till he's checked out by a physician.

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Apr 08 2013, 10:57 am

Yes. Involve the doctor. With tact. Let the kid see you taking the doctor's sage advice with great respect, humility, and reverence. That will remove the sting of it coming from YOU.

Get out of the middle. However, don't quote the doctor with a wagging finger when this growing boy reaches for something to eat.

Yes, any psychological factors should be thought about.

Food is a gift of G-d and not the enemy. It is wrong to make war on our food.

We should appreciate, look attentively and admiringly at, and enjoy our food.

If we shouldn't eat it, why is it in the house? Somebody bought it.

A little bit of a fun food is ok.

Pizza is ok only now and then. Yes, that's greasy. But don't ban it, make it unusual.

Homemade bread is very filling, and unless you have gluten problems, won't hurt you. If your arms are tired, a bread machine is useful. It teaches the mouth to like something that isn't sweet or soft.

One piece of fresh fruit a day should be a personal rule, and a drink of water near bedtime.

Last edited by Dolly Welsh on Mon, Apr 08 2013, 11:04 am; edited 1 time in total

vintagebknyc

Mon, Apr 08 2013, 11:03 am

Dolly Welsh wrote:

Yes. Involve the doctor. With tact.

of course, with tact. but none of us here are physicians, and her DS is having a medical problem that needs to be addressed.

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2013, 11:08 am

I was chubby as a child. My mother started putting me on diets in elementary school. That backfired in a BIG way (no pun intended). I would sneak food whenever I could. I would spend the little money I had on pure junk that I hid in my room. It has affected me to this day.

If your son really needs to lose weight for health reasons, not just aesthetics, then please go about it in a sensitive manner. It's one thing to cook healthier food for your whole family and not have junk food in the house. It's a whole other story if you are slapping his hand away from the serving spoon when he wants doubles or telling him he can only have fruit for dessert when you are serving cake or ice cream to the rest of the family.

What might be an even better approach than a diet is to encourage your son to exercise. Is he athletic? Are there any sports he enjoys? If not, maybe you could sign him up for karate or some other "cool" form of martial arts.

In any case, you should really consult with the pediatrician and/or a nutritionist before taking any steps to curtail your child's food intake. A diet that works for adults is inappropriate for growing children.

Miri1

Mon, Apr 08 2013, 11:30 am

Of course with medical guidance, and check out for any other causes...

But, perhaps there are subtle things that can change eating habits for him?
For example, could you plate the food so that portions are appropriate / balanced? He may not be hungry, but if the food is there for the taking he may just keep going and going.

Also, if you have lots of junk food in the house, perhaps just get it out so that it's not a temptation? (I have to do this for myself, otherwise I end up eating junk without limits. We don't have any store of candy or chocolate in our cupboards).
Junk food isn't just candy, it's potato chips, high calorie crackers, sweet drinks.
Obviously, you can't traumatize the kid, but if small changes occur over time, better eating habits will naturally set in.

Hatzlochah! It's really great that you're thinking about this for your son, he will thank you later for it. Just don't tell him he's on a diet Wink

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2013, 2:33 pm

Miri1 wrote:

Hatzlochah! It's really great that you're thinking about this for your son, he will thank you later for it. Just don't tell him he's on a diet Wink

Thanks, but I tell my kids all the time that a diet is just a way of eating. We were walking and he pointed to some guy and asked me if should be that skinny. I told him no, that I just want him to be like he was before, which was perfect for him.

You convinced me everyone and I made an appointment by the doctor.

momX4

Mon, Apr 08 2013, 11:03 pm

My DS is 8 and overweight as well.
My pediatrician was very helpful. Snacks are 100-110 calories. My DS knows how to look at calories and serving sizes and decides what is "worth it". He also eats only whole wheat bread and pizza (when served). He refuses to eat soup, fruits and chicken is a battle.

We were also told to get him to move, since he is a couch potatoe with a book. 30 minutes on the treadmill daily is mandatory. Now its bike ridding. We signed him up to soccer/basketball (not at the same time)
My ped also explained to my ds how extra weight puts stress on his heart and that for now he is ok, but when he gets older it can be a cause for heart.

good luck

momX4

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 3:31 pm

momX4 wrote:

In 3 months my DS lost 11 pounds. We were told not to expect any wieght loss, just my dr didnt want to see any weight gain.

This is what we did. Only WW bread. Non fat youguts. 100 calorie snacks. 30 minutes of exercise daily-biking or treadmill on 3.2(working on trying to go faster) He isnt big on fruits or vegetables yet.

my DS feels so much better about himself and looks better