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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
My DS threatens to run away and worse...



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amother


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2013, 9:41 am
What do you do when your DS who is 6 yrs old threatens to run away when he doesn't get what he wants which is a nearly daily occurrence. It takes so little to set him off. Today, for example, when I told him we were not going to get more Legos, he said he was going to run away and he started walking down the street. He returned on is own but then it is a 20 minute tirade about how he wishes someone would kill him or he wishes he were dead...
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2013, 6:30 pm
Is there a school counselor that he can speak to?

Does he have an allowance or way to earn money for things he wants ?
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2013, 6:35 pm
Therapy?
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2013, 7:07 pm
First of all, breathe. You are not alone. Then, think. Make sure you speak calmly to him about how important it is for him to be safe. You can make and post a rule about not leaving the house without permission and give him credit (verbal or in some other way) for every time he gets mad and still stays safe.

Does he know of acceptable ways to express his anger? You can provide him with materials after a brainstorming session.

But I agree. That level of dangerous talk and behavior calls for counseling, for parents and child.

Hatzlacha!
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2013, 3:32 am
Yes, therapy, and lots of love. Your child seems to need some extra hugs at the moment. Give him all you can.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2013, 5:20 pm
Counseling just started but we are still in the "getting to know you" phase. He is not so forthcoming with trying to come up with an alternative to running away or cutting himself. We try to talk about these things when everyone is calm but he doesnt have much other than "I don't know"
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lk1234




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2013, 5:26 pm
ok- this is just a small thing but when you say no legos, maybe open up some area for him that you can say yes to because as you describe his reaction will be strong to your responses that he doesn't like.

example-
We can't get lego, but I have a great idea. Let's work on that kids in art, paint-set, markers etc. that we haven't used in a while.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2013, 5:28 pm
Read the book the explosive child! It's amazing!! It will defiantly help!! Also check him for food sensitivity. Keep track of what he eats and when he acts out. It could be an allergic reaction! You should also get him on a healthy diet if he isn't already. Like no more food coloring or other chemicals. The less processed foods the better!
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2013, 5:39 pm
I recommend the Nurtured Heart Approach. Try Googling it to find the book. It has such good ideas.
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yc




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 01 2013, 3:43 am
my 10 year old son has also threatened to run away many times. and also to kill himself. I think this happens when he is overwhelmed by his own emotions and doesnt know how to deal with it. last friday night he even wound something around his neck when he was upset, and it wasn't even such a big thing that happened. he went to shul friday night and dh had gone to a different shul and forgot to tell him first. we are looking into sending him to therapy.
I know it sounds bad, but I feel comforted to know that others are going through similar things. its a tremendous nisayon for me.
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chavs




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 01 2013, 3:52 am
I'd recommend getting the dvd set of Power to Parent by Gordon Neufeld. He changed our relationship with ds and ds is now so much calmer and happier and settled in himself, much more resilient. We also don't feel as a loss as to how to deal with him, it'd Judy been amazing, It's not cheap but worth it.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jul 01 2013, 4:13 am
Yes, Ross Greene's The Explosive Child (collaborative method) is really useful.

hatzlocha
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