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Looking for some tips for hosting guests for Shabbos
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MMCH




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 05 2013, 6:29 am
choose 1 thing to care about!
do you care that your guests think you have amazing food , with alot of choices and a lot of courses?
or do you care more about your house being spotless?
I normally care more about my food, so when I do have a lot of company, I start tuesday. ill invite tuesday morning, (early, I know) make a list tuesday.
buy food wednesday, and make dessert/soup/fish wednesday night.
thursday do bulk of heavy preparations and clean as I go. Dont leave yourself a pile of dishes, its worse at the end of the night.
and friday, ill do the rest, but really its not alot, and I will clean up.
I second, shabbos day guests. friday is exhausting no matter what, and shabbos you wake up, and can prepare slowly the whole morning.
for the kids- I have a 2 year old and 6 month old. my baby is harder than my 2 year old, bc she is always held, my 2 y.o will help! you just need to be easy going.
people understand if there are toys in the living room, bc you have children.
be relaxed and youll see youll enjoy having company.
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Barbara




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 05 2013, 6:55 am
medola wrote:
We have been living in a new community for a year now and I guess I have realized that the best way to make new friends is by hosting them for a Shabbos meal. The problems is, I get so stressed out when I am having shabbos guests, that I very rarely host. Here's my list of issues/quirks:


- I stress about the food. People judge you (perhaps subconsciously) for what you cook, the variety of your dishes, etc. I don't eat fish so making a fish dish grosses me out. I also rarely make dessert when it's just me and my family. So making dessert is pretty unfamiliar territory for me.

- Next, this part I find to be an oxymoron. How am I supposed to have a clean kitchen if I just slaved for a whole day or two cooking. My kitchen is often such a mess come candle lighting that I just turn all the lights off but the dim stove light so that I don't see the mess! (Should I have prefaced this earlier that I have no paid help or order children that I can set to work)

- When I have guests or am making an elaborate Shabbos I always end up having to chose the food prep and cleaning over my children. They end up getting snapped at at least twice that day, and get put in front of some streaming kids show for hours. DH and I don't like to let our kids watch tv but there's just no other way on Friday - I still have not learned how to clone myself into 2 or 3 different mommies so that my kids (4 and 1 yrs) don't get ignored while I cook and clean...

- Seating- we used to have one of those wooden tables with a leaf but once we moved here we downsized, for some reason. My table is glass and (so no extensions) and only seats 6. My family is 4 (one in a high chair) so that really only leaves 2-3 guests. I could bring out the old wobbly folding card table, which seats 4 extra as a kids table or just 2 extra when it is used as a makeshift extension. But still the seating thing is definitely an issue! Maybe I will have to invest in a big folding table?

- Well that's all I can think of at the moment, aside from my general social anxiety over what to talk about (can someone help with that? Any imamothers out there want to take a stab at creating a good list of great conversation topics or questions to ask someone you just met? - where are you from/ do you have any siblings/ how did you meat your DH, etc)

You would think I was just married yesterday but I am going on 6 years! My last community was just so warm and we were always the ones getting invited out every Shabbos, I just never really picked up the skills to do it myself, as I didn't grow up frum or ever hosting guests at home..

Thanks!


Even in warm communities, people want to be invited to your home, rather than always inviting you.

With young kids, I would never dream of inviting on Friday night. Please tell me that's not what you're thinking.

For Saturday lunch, KISS. And if you're inviting guests in your demographic, they're going to be more grateful for child-friendly food than for gourmet dishes that they won't be able to eat because of their kids whining "I don't LIKE that!"

Start with green salad, hummus (store bought) with celery and carrot sticks sticks, and deviled eggs (because for the life of me I don't understand it, but kids like deviled eggs). Boil or bake a roll of gefilte fish if you feel that you need fish; it doesn't look or smell too fishy.

If its summer where you are, make a big pasta salad for lunch. Leave some pasta plain for picky kids. Breaded chicken cutlets. Cholent if you must, but I wouldn't. Whatever veggies you like, steamed. Veggies taste best when they're just veggies, IMNSHO.

Fruit for dessert. Or if you want to make a cake, easiest cake ever: http://www.food.com/recipe/kit.....71876
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medola




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 05 2013, 10:27 am
Hey ladies!
Thanks so so crazy much for these awesome responses and tips!
Sorry, freidisima but I cannot chuck our glass table! That was the only terrible advice. Wink DH picked this table out, in addition to its upholstered leather parsons chairs. It's pretty and modern and I will just have to get a folding table to make this all work.
A lot of posters recommended to bake and freeze. I do that for challah. I also make pizza and freeze slices for dh's lunch. Sometimes muffins. I have not had much experience with other Shabbos food, though. It just seems like you really need to be a super organized planner to pull it off! Also, does anyone know if there's a place online that sells cheap disposable foil pans? Paying $1 or $2 per pan is hardly affordable for us. But if I had a bunch then I would definitely feel more motivation to bake and freeze.
More on that topic - does anyone have any more suggestions on what dishes freeze the best?
And some kind of baby steps on how to get into the bake and freeze groove for a newbie?

I agree with everyone that Shabbos lunch is probably the best bet. I happen to make a mean cholent, so that's a plus! I don't have a hot plate, however. Even when I had one before we moved, I found that I just rarely used it.. I usually place the challah to warm up a bit on top of the crock pot or hot water urn. So What's the consensus? -- Is a hot plate 100% necessary? (Of course I don't have a Shabbos mode oven either!) I always struggle with planning a good menu for Shabbos lunch since it's hard to know which food is ok at room temp or which food really needs to be heated to taste it's best (for when we have guests- when it's just us, it's basically just wine/beer, challah and cholent- the end.)

I don't want to paint the picture that I am such a nebby wife, cook, mother and host! embarrassed If you came to me for Shabbos you probably wouldn't guess that your host is the author of this post.
I just get so stressed out with the whole undertaking and feel inadequate when months go by and we have no guests.. I feel like DH deserves better, deserves to have a wife who can be the hostess, with the delicious food and clean house and well behaved kinderlach. But oh, then I just feel the weight of the menu planning- turning the pages of every cookbook I own, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and somehow caring for my sweet DCs who are left with an unavailable mother for several days... I just marvel at how people do it!
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busydev




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 05 2013, 10:45 am
In my community the young families in general do not invite each other for meals (pretty yeshivish area) but we have bochrim.

I do not serve fish shabbos day. and the only hot food is cholent/kishka. challa I warm on top of the crock pot too. when I make deli roll I usually put that on the crock pot too. many kugels freeze well. I have frozen apple kugel, carrot kugel, pineapple kugel and luktuion kugel. I put them in the fridge before shabbos and either serve cold or warm on the hot water urn. no hot plate or shabbos mode (my oven does have shabbos mode- but I only use it to keep food warm friday night)

my typical shabbos day meal is:
kiddush
challa and dips including chopped liver
salad and deli/deli roll
cholent and kugel
dessert (bought ice cream in the summer. a baked good in the winter- for y"t I make fancier stuff)

none of it is to complicated or too expensive (I make a mock puff pastry dough for the deli roll otherwise that adds up)

also certain kugels are great in muffin/cupcake holders like apple kugels or carrot kugel. I make a double recipe in muffins and then freeze and take out enough for everyone plus a couple extra on shabbos. (I put them in a muffin tin on top of the crock pot or urn to warm up neatly.)
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medola




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 05 2013, 10:54 am
Busydev you make is sound real easy! Thank you! Seems very doable the way you broke it down!

Now, about this mock puff pastry dough!!? Can you PLEASE share the recipe? I love making deli roll; it's always a big hit! But the store bought dough is so pricey! And I have made the expensive mistake multiple times of buying the wrong kind (yes there is a wrong kind) and it tastes very off when that happens. If you make your own puff pastry dough, is this something you can also make as a large batch and freeze ahead (see now I am starting to thinking in freeze ahead terms...)? ;-)
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busydev




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 05 2013, 12:09 pm
I will try to remember to check it when I get home tonight.

it tastes a little different then real pp dough, but I like it and others that have eaten it seem to also. you should be able to freeze it and then let it slightly thaw enough to roll out and make. its not flaky like real pp dough- hence the mock part and its really pretty easy.

its flour and salt. cut in margarine. mix till crumbly. add water. mix well. stick in fridge for 2-3hr min, overnight is better (freezer works too). roll out on floured surface. mustard and deli. roll up. brush with egg and seeds or with duck sauce. I make the whole thing in a ziplock bag and mix by hand (sometimes thru the bag) so that theres really no mess (another advantage)

I would try it one week without guests to make sure you like it and it comes out good. im"h ill remember to check the amounts and edit this post to post them later.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 05 2013, 5:12 pm
I much prefer having guests friday night. Not everyone likes cholent, and so I have to make sure we have salads and other foods that taste good cold. Friday night I can just cook some fish, make a fresh salad, buy a dip or two, and cook some chicken and a simple side dish or two. I'm not a good salad maker but make better hot food. And my house is always messy shabbos morning. Never figured out why people like deli roll either. I also feel more sociable at night. I invite guests on yom tov for lunch when I can serve hot food.

Also every time I make a complicated dish like kugel or boreka, or soup, I make a triple amount and freeze the oextra. So every week I can pull out a kugel or whatever,
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a1mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 05 2013, 8:49 pm
I do all my cooking either thursday night after the kids are asleep or early friday morning, I try and set the table for shabbos lunch on Friday night after the meal so that the only thing left for the meal is to dress the salad and plate the food. I cook simple but in abundance and usually do store bought ice cream and fresh fruit for dessert. when I do have time to bake I bake in bulk and take out of the freezer for the next few weeks. I also put out nuts or candy to make it seem more elegant... I hide any unwashed dishes in the oven so the kitchen looks clean. I don't apologize or try to hide the toys my kids play with- and I have plenty of repeats..
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