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Ideas how to make guest room without kicking out baby?
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cs1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2013, 5:04 pm
freidasima wrote:
If we are talking about Bubbie and Zeidie what in the heck is the problem? How many times did my kids sleep with my parents? Loads, at their place. In their bedroom, in their beds, all the kids together, what a balagan it was!!! But my parents loved it. Heck I (that's a capital, underlined I) didn't let my kids get into my bed ever because I was always afraid of lice (here in EY it's endemic and my kids all suffered with it over and over being reinfected in gan) but my parents? They coped admirably. One kid would end up between their beds, another hanging over the side etc.

Anyhow bubbie and zaidie need grandchildren around, not privacy. And if said baby wakes up during the night, yalla, get a good night's sleep and let bubbie and zaidie take care of said child! To this day when we have the grandchildren over whose bed do they end up in at 4 AM if they are screaming? Mine, you betcha or with Zeide. There was this great night that the younger who usually didn't sleep anyhow, ended up sleeping with Zeide in his bed (he's 2) and then the older woke up and started screaming he wanted to also and ended up in my bed next to zeide who was of course by that time kicked out of his bed by a thrashing two year old.

I slept on the sofa. For as much as I slept.

in other words, if it is your parents or in laws, they get the kids, and you get a vacation from the kids, they can all sleep together in one room, in one bed for that matter.

If it is anyone else? Just don't have guests. But grandparents? A free for all, and that's how it should be IMHO.


I love this post Smile
Whenever we go to my parents (they have 3 bedrooms) the place is a balagan. Everyone sleeps with everyone. I've slept with teenage brothers (was always dressed completely tznius) and dh on the couch, or with nephews/neices (under 9) with married sisters etc. So in our house were used to a big party. But its ironic cuz my parents have the issue of sleeping with a baby. But my FIL (no MIL) has no problem sleeping with our baby.

I guess its time to tell my parents that they can't come for too much longer...my FIL has no issue sleeping with my baby.

I just think its so unfair cuz my parents/ILs expect us to come to them for shabbos (during winter and spring breaks) which is about 4-6 shabbosim in a row and whenever we go were always crammed into one room and yes, its uncomfortable..so which ever way - whether we go to them or they come to us its tough.
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cs1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2013, 5:06 pm
Raisin wrote:
we were once put in a room with the hosts baby. He was a toddler already. I didn't think it was so strange. If your parents can't cope with it then I guess you have no choice - either they don't come or you put up with it.

You can look into temporary walls - google those words and see what you come up with.

Heres one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl9VCRkb1IY but I am sure there are tons more.


Thanks raisin! I'm going to look into this
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Beyla




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2013, 5:32 pm
Maybe you have enough space in your living room to have your parents sleeping there? They wouldn't sleep with your baby and he would keep his bedroom.

We have a very tiny living room so for us it's not possible.
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Emotional




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2013, 6:16 pm
freidasima wrote:

Anyhow bubbie and zaidie need grandchildren around, not privacy. And if said baby wakes up during the night, yalla, get a good night's sleep and let bubbie and zaidie take care of said child...

...If it is anyone else? Just don't have guests. But grandparents? A free for all, and that's how it should be IMHO.


Speak for yourself, but not for others. Not all grandparents are physically or emotionally capable of this arrangement. My parents would need their sleep & privacy as much as I need mine.
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zohar




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2013, 6:56 pm
I'm in agreement with everyone else that it isn't appropriate to room guest with your baby. But I have a practical solution. How about you and your husband move in to your child's room and give your master bedroom to the guests.
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SingALong




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2013, 7:00 pm
Being that you mentioned that it's a very large room, would you consider moving in there with your newborn? And you can easily transport the porta crib for the newborn while toddler stays in his big crib. And try that sleep away baby thing or put a Chinese screen for toddler. Then your parents/inlaws would sleep in your room. Practically speaking I think that's the best way to work it unless grandparents don't mind sleeping with toddler. And of course it depends on your comfort level of having someone else sleeping in your room. (I'd pack up all personal items for out of sight during their visit if you go this route).
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2013, 7:03 pm
close family should be able to understand less than perfect sleeping accommodations if they want to stay with a family in a small apartment ... if not then they shouldn't come over
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amother


 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2013, 7:05 pm
greenfire wrote:
close family should be able to understand less than perfect sleeping accommodations if they want to stay with a family in a small apartment ... if not then they shouldn't come over

I disagree. Less than perfect is one thing, inconsiderate is another. To assume your guest will be okay with having to wake up early for your baby,.family or not, is inconsiderate.
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cs1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2013, 7:35 pm
I'm pretty particular about sleeping in my own room and would not move out. In addition, I dont see baby1 sleeping well with baby2 crying every few hours.

I'm a very settled, organized type of person and would not be able to move out with all my stuff for just one night.
However, when we go to bubby zaidys houses we always cram and its always uncomfortable.

In any case, thanks guys for all your responses! I appreciate all your input.

We decided to put up 2 hooks on each side of the wall and hang a shower curtain on a string whenever family come. Baby will be on one side with a noise machine and the beds will be on another. FIL is totally ok with this arrangement and my parents are not. I didnt officially tell my parents yet but it once came up in a theoretical conversation.
But that just means they won't come and thats that! (they used to come about 3-4 times a year.)
The only bummer is when I have a baby. My parents would totally want me in their house so they can help me, but I need my comfort zone and space and can't squish into one room right after giving birth. My mother might come for a day or two but that's that.
But oh well, that's life. Part of the choices we make!
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chanab




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2013, 8:45 pm
zohar wrote:
I'm in agreement with everyone else that it isn't appropriate to room guest with your baby. But I have a practical solution. How about you and your husband move in to your child's room and give your master bedroom to the guests.


I was going to say the same.
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causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2013, 10:34 pm
I think you need to tell your guests what the sleeping arrangements are beforehand. That way they can decide if they want to come or not. If they choose to come anyway then they need to be prepared to sleep with the baby in the room. Its not OK to spring it on them once they arrive.

I don't think any sort of mechitza is going to work unless you invest a few thousand dollars in those partition walls that are common in shuls/wedding halls. see below

http://www.modernfold.com/
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 25 2013, 12:37 am
amother wrote:
greenfire wrote:
close family should be able to understand less than perfect sleeping accommodations if they want to stay with a family in a small apartment ... if not then they shouldn't come over

I disagree. Less than perfect is one thing, inconsiderate is another. To assume your guest will be okay with having to wake up early for your baby,.family or not, is inconsiderate.


there should be no expectations on either side ... they have a small apartment what on earth are they supposed to do ... besides op sounds like she is trying to make some sort of wall ...

I'm thinking the op shouldn't have guests if they cannot deal with their kids in their own room and the parents should not be guests if they don't like the accommodations ...
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hop613




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 25 2013, 1:15 pm
is there a living room where people can sleep?

I don't see anything wrong with asking grandparents to share a room with a toddler. At some point, if the toddler can't sleep on your room for whatever reason, what are you supposed to do. There are options to hang curtains from the ceiling on a track that might help you.

I really feel for you. my kids sleep horribly when not in their cribs and are also the worlds lightest sleepers and don't sleep when we need to share. Our families have to deal with it, because that's just the way it is.
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smss




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 25 2013, 2:54 pm
I don't think kibbud av v'eim means you are obligated to have a house large enough to give your parents a private room whenever they come. this is the situation, so they can either find another place to stay or sleep in the room with the baby - their choice.
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cs1




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 25 2013, 4:17 pm
Thanks again everyone for your input.
We decided what we will be doing from now on. We will put up a mechitza, noise machine and we told our families the new accomodations. FIL is totally ok with it and my parents aren't which means they wont be coming anymore.

I think its safe to say that this conversation is over Smile
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rachelbg




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 25 2013, 10:15 pm
Where I am, lots of people put tracks in their ceilings so they can partition off a section of a room with a heavy curtain. They pick a nice curtain that matches the decor. perhaps that's an idea for you? I know you said the conversation was over, but maybe this was one last chance at something more inexpensive than a wall, yet still a partition enough...
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2013, 11:37 am
A room may well be too small for a child bed AND a couple bed or two single beds.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2013, 12:32 pm
zohar wrote:
I'm in agreement with everyone else that it isn't appropriate to room guest with your baby. But I have a practical solution. How about you and your husband move in to your child's room and give your master bedroom to the guests.


DH and I do this now that my mother can't do stairs anymore and my guest room is in the basement. We move down and give them our bedroom.

Disclaimer - I don't think I'd do this for anyone but a parent.
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oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2013, 1:04 pm
You really can't move your baby into your room for 3-4 nights a YEAR?
That's extremely infrequent.
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