Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
S/o of getting excused f. shabbos table (different amother)



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother


 

Post Thu, Nov 28 2013, 1:08 am
Would the following be rude? I never would have thought so, except for the current thread on excusing yourself from the shabbos table.

We've been invited to someone's house for shabbos lunch. I said yes, but then I realized I must leave after two hours for another commitment that I have in the afternoon. (With shabbos so short in the winter, the schedule is very tight. And the second commitment is something I cannot get out of.) I would ask for a raincheck, but the people who are inviting only invite a few times a year, because of certain circumstances, so it's not simple to ask for a raincheck.

I can call beforehand (like today) and explain the situation, but bottom line, will I be considered rude?
Back to top

Brownies




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 28 2013, 1:13 am
I didn't post on the other thread but if you called up to explain beforehand I personally wouldn't consider it rude.
Back to top

pickle321




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 28 2013, 1:38 am
Brownies wrote:
I didn't post on the other thread but if you called up to explain beforehand I personally wouldn't consider it rude.


ditto
Back to top

AlwaysThinking




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 28 2013, 2:16 am
I think that would be fine, as long as your not cutting their meal short by a substantial length of time.
Back to top

imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 28 2013, 2:37 am
I wouldn't consider it rude. I also would be fine if a guest informed me of a time constraint when arriving for the meal, even if they didn't call ahead of time.
Back to top

Frumdoc




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 28 2013, 3:29 am
Absolutely fine by me, even if you turned up and said you had to be somewhere else by x time, I'd make sure we finished for you, or at least ensured you had time to have a main course.

I know I criticised walking out on a long meal, but the reasons were completely different. That was all about being bored and demanding the host ends the meal early, not excusing yourself from a meal with advance notice.

We have short meals and those who want can stay and sit in comfort in the living room and shmooze over a hot drink as long as they wish. If someone has to run off, even unexpectedly, fine by me, I just want people to feel comfortable in our home.

The way I behave as a guest is completely different from how I expect a guest to behave in my own home, although the previous thread was a bit much, I wouldn't have such a long drawn out meal in the first place precisely because of these issues.

I have had to leave meals at short notice many times, always ask if it ok in advance and never had a no, but I would prefer to refuse an invite than be rude to the host. I have even had to get to work in the middle of a meal, and am so grateful to people for enabling me to get a bit of yomtov or shabbos and my dh to enjoy himself with company instead of a lonely meal at home Sad
Back to top

Peanut2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 28 2013, 3:49 am
In the future and in general, I think it would be best to let the host know before accepting the offer.

I know if I were hosting someone (we are a young family and would probably host same, or singles or couples) I'd rather they tell me in advance and give me the option of a rain check, so we can have them for longer in the future.

That said, two hours isn't so short.

And in general, if you have to go you have to go. Sometimes things come up as well. You do what you can.
Back to top

Isramom8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 28 2013, 4:09 am
As a frequent host I say definitely tell them in advance. Two hours is plenty!
Back to top

amother


 

Post Thu, Nov 28 2013, 4:21 am
OP here.

Thanks, everyone, for your responses. I am relieved that the consensus is that it won't be rude.

Peanut2, I agree: I should have said something before accepting. But the invitation came when I was driving, and I try not to have long conversations when driving, and I just forgot at that time about my other shabbos commitment.
Back to top

Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 28 2013, 5:32 am
our shabbos lunches don't take longer then 2 hours. I think it is fine.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Shabbos pants for elementary boys
by amother
9 Today at 3:18 am View last post
What decor do you get to enhance your pesach table?
by hodeez
18 Yesterday at 9:57 pm View last post
Kids shabbos shoes affordable. Let's make a list!
by amother
63 Yesterday at 7:17 pm View last post
Last minute opportunity for a Shabbos getaway
by amother
5 Yesterday at 4:14 pm View last post
Amazon shabbos top
by amother
5 Yesterday at 2:04 pm View last post