Something wrong here...?

amother

Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:21 pm

My 2 year old son and I live on our own in our own apt. He can sometimes get very, very attach-y and I feel like I can't relax at all after a day of work. If I sit down, he needs to sit on my lap. If I talk on my phone, he needs to also. If I use bathroom, he cries or hangs onto the door. (bec I stopped letting him be in bathroom with me) This drives me crazy. The more I need my space, the more desperate he gets. Then I feel guilty that I'm not being good mother. So I give in and then I don't get the break that I needed, (even for a few sane moments just to regain my emotional balance.) so I feel worse, till I just do it again and this happens again... When I say I feel worse, it means I feel like I'm going to lose it and scream at him... Anyone ever went through this and understands it? Is it a matter of distracting him with something he'll play on his own with? Or will that just be pushing away his needs?

amother

Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:26 pm

Its very normal behavior for a 2 year old. Why dont you sit on the floor and play lego or give him crayons to color. After a few minutes just say you need to get something and youll be right back. This will allow you to use the restroom or have a snack.

I dont want to push videos to much, but how about when you come home you give him a snack and put on a video for 30 minutes while you relax?

amother

Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:26 pm

mummiedearest

Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:29 pm

two-year-olds can be clingy. if he wants to sit on your lap, try letting him sit on you for a couple of minutes, then sliding him off your lap to sit next to you. he can still be touching your lap. encourage him to play with a toy while sitting next to you. you can keep an arm around him while talking on the phone.

my two-year-old does the same thing at times. I'm a stay at home mom, and she gets my attention throughout the day. when she does this, it means she really feels a lack of attention. there are days I get caught up in housework (especially if she's playing nicely by herself) and she'll let me know later. it's hard to do, but it's best to give them that attention and promise yourself alone time later. that can be after bedtime or in another ten minutes. I find it easier to be calm with toddlers when I realize that they're just communicating their needs. they don't understand that you have feelings too. your son knows you work, and he misses you. if he gets upset that you're in the bathroom, speak to him calmly for the entirety of your bathroom stay. he'll get used to it.

if you can, treat yourself to a babysitter once in a while. you do need alone time.

marina

Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:34 pm

amother wrote:

the bolded part is the problem.

Stop feeling guilty. Close your door, turn on some music and eat chocolate ice-cream. After a while, he will get the point and stop banging on the door every day.

flowerpower

Mon, Dec 09 2013, 9:20 pm

Its a very normal behavior of a typical 2 year old. My toddler is the same. She has to sit on my lap even if the chair right near me is empty. Where I go, she goes.... Its hard when you don't get your space that you need. Try to encourage sitting near you and playing rather than on you. Leave the bathroom door a bit open and tell him to wait there. It will get better.