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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:41 pm
We live in a 2 family house with thin walls (think hearing baby cry, sometimes hearing conversations, hearing shabbos zemiros, etc) the person above me (we both rent) works nights. I am a stay at home mom. We only own a desk top and its in our bedroom. I will often during the day work on laundry, cleaning or paperwork in our bedroom and have music or a video on. She has asked before that I turn off the sound when I am on Facebook because the beep for a message annoys her. Today she told my my music was too loud she could not sleep Sad I nicely texted her back it was actually very quiet and I am sorry I am working in my bedroom and listening to it (again this was 1pm) the music was soft enough it could not be heard in my living room or in my child's bedroom.

I think she is upset at me. I am not sure what to do she has made comments before that my music keeps her up during the day or my kids yelling and playing in our bedroom keeps her up I apologize but I don't think I need to keep quiet during the day. She DOES wear ear plugs. We are below her. TRUST me they wake us plenty. Every time they go to the bathroom at night we are woken (yes they have carpet these floors are horrible)

I want to be nice and neighborly but I also want use of my home! What would you do?
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:45 pm
Use headphones. There are WIRELESS headphones with no cord. So you aren't tethered and you can walk around. It's also a privacy thing for you. It is nobody's business what videos or music you like, and the walls are thin.

Kids will still be kids, but you will have done what you can.

https://www.google.com/#q=wire.....fined

Tell her you are using them.

It won't solve everything but it will help the atmosphere. Maybe she will reciprocate. Even if she doesn't you will have done a Nice Thing, and you will know that inside.

My ancestral family Device is "Sooner Die Than Annoy A Neighbor".


Last edited by Dolly Welsh on Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
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basement




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:46 pm
Buy her a noise machine? They have white noise settings that are very effective.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:48 pm
Dolly Welsh wrote:
Use headphones. There are WIRELESS headphones with no cord. So you aren't tethered and you can walk around. It's also a privacy thing for you. It is nobody's business what videos or music you like, and the walls are thin.

Kids will still be kids, but you will have done what you can.



Head phones are not an option. I have sensory issues and can't use them. I have tried 5-6 different types (think flying overseas with no videos or music because you honestly can't put up with the headphones and quitting a job that required wearing a headset sensory issues.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:50 pm
basement wrote:
Buy her a noise machine? They have white noise settings that are very effective.


Would it be proper for me to suggest she buy herself one? We are VERY tight financially and honestly it would be cutting on food for shabbos or something similar to buy her one.
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:51 pm
A radio turned on quite low, between stations, sometimes works as a noise machine.

What about those little earbuds they have now? Can you try that instead of headphones? They are tiny. I use them - in only one ear.
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starmarket




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:52 pm
I think it's also unreasonable for op to wear headphones because how will she hear her kids?
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Happy18




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:54 pm
I think you can suggest one to her, they don't have to be so expensive. Have you complained about her families noise in the past? Because if you have I wouldn't suggest her buying anything.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:55 pm
Dolly Welsh wrote:
A radio turned on quite low, between stations, sometimes works as a noise machine.

What about those little earbuds they have now? Can you try that instead of headphones? They are tiny. I use them - in only one ear.


Anything that touches my ear is not a possibility. And hearing the kids is also a major issue.

Earphones, headphones, ear buds etc of any kind are not an option for me
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:57 pm
it's daytime - suggest she wear earplugs because you need to live ...
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starmarket




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:57 pm
I think this isn't the right living situation for your neighbor - it's totally reasonable to expect quiet at night - but it's totally unreasonable to expect silence during daylight hours!
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 7:58 pm
If the noise is really as little as ur saying then ur neighbor is way out of line. I would just keep being polite while basically ignoring her.
That being said, if u have any way to make things quiter try to do so .
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PAMOM




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 8:04 pm
Just day you're sorry and will do your best. Period.
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basement




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 8:11 pm
Sorry, op. Didn't know anything about your financial situation when I suggested buying it for her. You sounded concerned with how to deal with this problem in a sensitive and caring way, hence the suggestion that you give it to her. I thought that way she'd be more likely to accept it as a thoughtful gesture which reflects your willingness to work with her. I give you credit for not having the attitude of "it's her problem, let her deal!" Like some ppl would. But you can also suggest the idea to her and see if she's receptive. The key is show that you do care and want to try to help if you can.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 8:13 pm
I wouldnt do anything. You are not beig unreasonable. You are both trying tk be considerate. Some apartments arent great - looks like your isnt great. Deal or move.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 8:18 pm
Is there any reason you can't turn the noise notification off when your get Facebook messages? I don't use Facebook but is it something you can check periodically instead?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 8:18 pm
watergirl wrote:
I wouldnt do anything. You are not beig unreasonable. You are both trying tk be considerate. Some apartments arent great - looks like your isnt great. Deal or move.


We love our apartment and are okay with the noise. I think they are just REALLY quiet people and not use to noise etc (my husband and I are the type to like music on while cleaning and background noise) we have never complained to them about noise but we have asked things like "is everything okay" etc
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 8:30 pm
Sorry - by deal or move, I also meant them. THey have to understand that you arent doing anything unreasonable. They can deal with normal life sounds or they can find a more isolated place to live.
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starmarket




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 10 2013, 8:39 pm
EXACTLY!
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momof2boys




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2013, 1:22 am
I would ignore the texts from this neighbor when she tells you youre keeping her awake. itll just cause friction.

I work nights too.

tell her to get a sound machine- I recommend MARPAC brand. Or maybe she needs to rearrange her apartment and sleep in a different bedroom.

its unreasonable to make your neighbors keep quiet in broad daylight.
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