Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Judaism
Waiting for Hashem to strike



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

miracleshappen




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 18 2013, 11:32 pm
Baruch Hashem, I have never had any tremendous hardships. Smooth childhood, loving family, found my shidduch with ease, had a beautiful healthy baby, have a wonderful marriage, everyone in my life is healthy...I can keep going on and on (BARUCH HASHEM, can't say that enough).
Because of all the good Hashem has given me, which I feel I may not deserve, I am waiting for Hashem to do something bad to me, cause me some sort of hardship because I have it too good...and I'm scared.
I have long struggled with this problem in my emunah. Anyone else ever feel this way?
Back to top

imorethanamother




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 18 2013, 11:36 pm
I would look at it from a positive angle. Hashem made so many things in your life go wonderfully, possibly so that you'll have emotional and physical energy to put your strength into the needs of the community. Know someone who has an ill child? Commit to making them dinner every Shabbos. Just an example.

Showing Hashem that you're making good use of your brachos is an excellent way of saying thank you for all His good. Commit to doing something way out of your comfort zone.
Back to top

shalhevet




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2013, 3:39 am
I wish you continued happiness and health.

Three things:
1. Lots of things are considered suffering - it says in the gemorra (I think) that even if someone puts their hand in their pocket and takes out the wrong coin, that is considered yissurim.

2. People view suffering differently - it is beautiful that you feel Hashem only does good with you. Keep thanking him. Lots of times the same goal can be achieved by a person taking the initiative to get closer to Hashem through the good, so that the difficulties aren't needed (of course, that doesn't mean people with difficulties and suffering didn't get close before, every neshama is different and needs a different path through life).

3. There is an idea that if something was decreed on someone and they did it themselves in a good way, it is still counted. For example, if it was decreed on RH that a person will be exiled from their home, exiling themselves into the Sukka "counts" instead. So, like the PP said, by doing extra as a chessed for others, you can avoid the yissurim (e.g. spending time and money on making a meal for a neighbor who needs it means Hashem won't need to take that time and money in less pleasant ways).

Also, there is no measure of how much suffering or good any given person has to go through. True emuna is accepting how Hashem runs our lives with simcha, and knowing every neshama has their own path and goals. Otherwise we should all be worried why we don't have as many yissurim (ch"v) as people did during the Holocaust.
Back to top

AlwaysThinking




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2013, 4:28 am
A relative (by marriage - so different upbringing etc.) of mine (same age as me) always says this to me, which actually upsets me, she says it to me because her life has been smooth while mine has been very rocky and difficult every step of the way. (Baruch Hashem - I wouldn't want it any different) Just know - good and bad isn't so clear cut.

Everyone has a different neshama with a different task. And what you see as difficulties for other people may in fact be good things. I mean, if I didn't have difficulties, I would not be the person I am today. Cliche as it sounds, it's so true, and don't get me wrong, I'm not boasting, I'm just saying I feel I needed the hardships to become a better person. I would be doing the same things, but not with the same dedication and appreciation.

They looked like terrible, terrible yissurim, but Baruch Hashem they were the best things that ever happened to me. If anyone feels sorry for me, I feel sorry for them for not knowing the strength you can gain through yissurim, and upset that they feel my life is 'unlucky' or 'miserable'. Suffering can enable you to access strengths that you have never seen. But not everyone needs to access these strengths - some have them naturally without effort, it all depends on their neshama, it's history and it's tasks.

What if one person you know a complex neshama that needs a big tikkun - if they didn't have yissurim they could never get there. And what if someone had a neshama that just needed to live a frum life? Yissurim wouldn't be necessary. I'm simplifying, but just showing; everyone is so different to each other. You really can't guess what to expect from life.

If Hashem doesn't send you hardships, that's just not your task right now. Everyone has them eventually. Not to be grim, but one spouse dies before another in most cases.

All I'm really trying to say is that sometimes a lack of yissurim can be a hardship in itself. To be able to connect to the fact that Hashem still wants a lot from you even though He isn't sending you a blaring message telling you what He wants. And that having yissurim is not always bad. Be thankful for what you have, and take everything as it comes. The unknown is scary, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy what you already have.
Back to top

etky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2013, 5:07 am
Into each life some rain must fall.
A simple law of probability.
As others have pointed out - dealing with yissurim is all a matter of perspective.
You sound like a person who knows how to appreciate the blessings that you have.
That will put you in good standing for the times when you need to retain that positive outlook and sense of proportion.
You will be fine.
Back to top

Heyaaa




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2013, 5:23 am
I could've written ops post. I know I should be out there volunteering and I know people with 15 kids are somehow doing a ton for others while I only have one. It's so hard for me to even take care of my dh and house and baby and I know I should be doing for others and I'm afraid I'll get punished for not doing anything when the reality is that I don't have the time nor the energy.

I have such a need to give bec I'm so grateful that I have so much but it's do hard for me to take care if myself, how can I do for others?
Back to top

marshmellow




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2013, 7:11 am
It is subjective. I have substantial hardships and challenges, yet I recognise that I have some truly amazing blessings. For example - my mother. Anyone who says "ooh big deal", you don't know my mother.

I feel extremely grateful and lucky and privileged.

One single blessing could make a person more lucky than someone with many good things in life. It's quantity not quality.
Back to top

ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2013, 8:40 am
miracleshappen wrote:
Baruch Hashem, I have never had any tremendous hardships. Smooth childhood, loving family, found my shidduch with ease, had a beautiful healthy baby, have a wonderful marriage, everyone in my life is healthy...I can keep going on and on (BARUCH HASHEM, can't say that enough).
Because of all the good Hashem has given me, which I feel I may not deserve, I am waiting for Hashem to do something bad to me, cause me some sort of hardship because I have it too good...and I'm scared.
I have long struggled with this problem in my emunah. Anyone else ever feel this way?

This is such an inspiring question.

If you thank Hashem when good things are happening, you won't need bad things to happen to bring you closer. I know whenever I start to slack off davening, I start to see trouble in my life and realize that one thing I can't take shortcuts in is davening.
Back to top

acccdac




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2013, 11:18 am
I read your original post and I thought, hey, I wrote a thread like that before. I found it, and after reading it, I cant believe I composed my thoughts so clearly in my original post, and now I'm starting to doubt that it's mine. Either way I'll post the link her for extra comments on the issue

http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....+drop
Back to top

myself




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2013, 6:40 pm
acccdac wrote:
I read your original post and I thought, hey, I wrote a thread like that before. I found it, and after reading it, I cant believe I composed my thoughts so clearly in my original post, and now I'm starting to doubt that it's mine. Either way I'll post the link her for extra comments on the issue

http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....+drop


Interesting. When I read the OP of this thread I checked the date as I remembered reading something similar and thought it was an old post that was bumped up. Wishing you both continued revealed good!
Back to top

gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2013, 7:25 pm
I kind of know what you mean. When I found out I had gallstones and would need gallbladder surgery I felt a sense of relief, like I could stop worrying about when the sky would fall down.

But the truth is we all experience tzar even when our lives are perfect. My DD once choked for about 45 seconds on a piece of fruit and I was seconds away from calling hatzolah when I finally fished it out with my third or fourth time trying the pinky sweep. We all go through trauma in one way or another.

Also, I don't think of any traumatic experience as a "strike from hashem." I just figure statistically eventually everyone experiences pain.
Back to top

imamazing




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2013, 7:37 pm
I feel that way many times.

I once heard that if we empathize with those going through a difficult time and/or daven for them and / or try to help in someway, than the pain that we are sharing in is like we ourselves experienced this and we get the tikkun for it , which protects us from having the bad happening to us.

I don't know if there is a real source to this, but it has really helped me move past "waiting for the other shoe to drop" . It also helps me be more aware and appreciative of the good I have
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Judaism

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Chasde Hashem
by amother
19 Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:41 am View last post
I am so angry at Hashem. Why would this happen
by amother
7 Mon, Feb 26 2024, 9:35 pm View last post
Hashem cares about the little things
by amother
2 Tue, Feb 20 2024, 8:07 pm View last post
Money is decided by Hashem - a little story
by amother
4 Mon, Feb 19 2024, 3:07 am View last post
Vent, Hashem please send me some money
by amother
2 Wed, Jan 31 2024, 12:02 am View last post