reasonable request from a parent?

lech lecha08

Sun, Feb 23 2014, 1:58 pm

Sorry this is a bit long
DD is in 2nd grade. At the beginning of the year, the teacher gave each girl assigned seats. Since we're in Israel, two girls share a large desk. She never really got along with her deskmate. Every so often, the teacher would shift a few girls around and pair them differently. A few weeks ago, DD got moved and was finally enjoying her neighbor. She actually started talking about this girl and was befriending her (DD is a bit of an introvert, has 2 good friends and would only play with them. We've been trying to get her to talk to/play with other girls in her class as well)
Last week, for some reason, the (substitute, as the original is on maternity leave) teacher switched a whole bunch of girls around again and DD ended up next to her first deskmate, from the start of the year. Now DD comes home every day with another story of how this girl teased her, hurt her feelings, accused her of something, etc. It came to a culmination today when they got a test handed back. The neighbor peeked at DD's grade and told everyone in the class but in a teasing way. DD ended up in tears. (Their teacher had made a rule that the girls aren't allowed to ask/talk/look about each other's grades. DD got a 91, which probably wasn't the highest grade but definitely not the lowest either)
Is it reasonable to ask the teacher to switch DD away from this girl? Would you, as a teacher, be accommodating?

m in Israel

Sun, Feb 23 2014, 2:08 pm

Very reasonable. As a teacher I had seating requests from parents all the time. Obviously if you came in insisting your daughter sit only in a specific seat with a specific partner that would be unreasonable. But if all you are requesting is not to be near one specific girl I would definitely go for it.

In any case, your main job as a parent is to protect your child, even if the teacher will find you annoying (which I don't think she will).

Ariella28

Sun, Feb 23 2014, 2:08 pm

Yes definitely ask to switch! If the teacher truly cares she will be willing to help u! It's hard when you see ur daughter going through this! Just keep boosting her confidence! and still keep an eye on whats going on, cos the teasing can still continue even if they dont sit together!

acccdac

Sun, Feb 23 2014, 2:17 pm

reasonable request.......the one thing I would ask is when you call the substitute be on her side. What I mean is say "my daughter came home and said you switched seats. I'm so happy that you are treating the class like your own and not as a temporary position, it makes such a difference to the girls. I am not sure if you are aware but at the beginning of the year my daughter and "sara" sat near each other and it wasnt good for anyone. from what I understand they are siting next to each other again. At first I told my daughter that she should just try and make it work, but as time is going on its really hard for her, the bad things that were going on are slowly coming back and I would appreciate if her seat could be moved so it doesnt go as far as it did the first time around."

lech lecha08

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 8:00 am

yo'ma wrote:

Everyone already answered, but she was being teased for a 91!?!?! Wow, that's nuts!

I don't think she was being teased about the number grade, more like "haha, we know what you got". Their teacher expressly forbid the girls from comparing grades and asking what others got