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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
ora_43
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Thu, Mar 06 2014, 10:16 am
I'm surprised at how many people think OP needs to go investigate first. She said she hears screaming, what sounds like someone being hit, and kids crying.
What, at this point, would give her more evidence? I don't think anyone is going to commit abuse directly in her line of sight, to give her 100% certainty...
If OP is particularly gifted in talking to people, I guess she could try to see if she can get the wife or kids to open up. But on the off chance that they don't want to bare all to a stranger who doesn't speak their language, she's still not going to know anything more than she does now.
I can see arguing that calling the police probably won't be effective, but I find it really odd that people are arguing that calling the police is a good option only once you already know exactly what's happening. If you think police can help, how is the thought of calling police on a non-abusive family (in which case what happens is... nothing) more scary than the risk of doing nothing?
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amother
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Thu, Mar 06 2014, 10:44 am
It's not so simple. They would a thousand percent know it's me and our front door is light as a feather he can knock it down and hurt me . As it is I'm scared to be home alone if we would call cops I would be forced to move out as I would be worried about the danger of my newborn. Half the time I didn't understand they spoke swahili I was so confused cuz I never heard the language before and it was a mix of that and English so I didn't know if anything was going on. But I would record it just in case we moved and then I'd show cops. We actually looked for other houses so we could move and call the police then (once we were out) but in the end they got divorced a few days ago (mom was normal out was the dad who was crazy) so the son moved out with the mom. Phew!
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Maya
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Thu, Mar 06 2014, 10:59 am
amother wrote: | Not op (I'm the two family house one) but I heard 'put the knife down!' and then another person say 'I'm calling the cops if you don't put that down' you can hear protesting.
Sorry for your situation :-( |
You distinctly heard someone say put the knife down, and you still didn't call the police? Unbelievable.
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doctorima
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Thu, Mar 06 2014, 11:04 am
Maybe you could record a really bad episode, so you'll have evidence for the police and don't have to worry that they'll show up and find nothing going on.
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vintagebknyc
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Thu, Mar 06 2014, 12:13 pm
maybe you should just call the police, anonymously, and tell them what you've been hearing, before someone upstairs gets murdered. not sure what you're wait for.
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amother
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Thu, Mar 06 2014, 7:41 pm
amother wrote: | It's not so simple. They would a thousand percent know it's me and our front door is light as a feather he can knock it down and hurt me . As it is I'm scared to be home alone if we would call cops I would be forced to move out as I would be worried about the danger of my newborn. Half the time I didn't understand they spoke swahili I was so confused cuz I never heard the language before and it was a mix of that and English so I didn't know if anything was going on. But I would record it just in case we moved and then I'd show cops. We actually looked for other houses so we could move and call the police then (once we were out) but in the end they got divorced a few days ago (mom was normal out was the dad who was crazy) so the son moved out with the mom. Phew! |
The above post is not me. This is the OP. Please clarify that you are not the OP before posting anonymously.
In regards to the many of you who are suggesting the police, I still don't understand how that helps. Obviously they will act normal as soon as their are cops at the door. And to call CPS, I would really have to have proof before I made that call.
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out-of-towner
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Thu, Mar 06 2014, 8:42 pm
amother wrote: | The above post is not me. This is the OP. Please clarify that you are not the OP before posting anonymously.
In regards to the many of you who are suggesting the police, I still don't understand how that helps. Obviously they will act normal as soon as their are cops at the door. And to call CPS, I would really have to have proof before I made that call. |
No actually, I don't think that you need to have proof. You just need to call and they will do their best to look into it. You can call anonymously.
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MaBelleVie
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Thu, Mar 06 2014, 8:46 pm
amother wrote: | The above post is not me. This is the OP. Please clarify that you are not the OP before posting anonymously.
In regards to the many of you who are suggesting the police, I still don't understand how that helps. Obviously they will act normal as soon as their are cops at the door. And to call CPS, I would really have to have proof before I made that call. |
No, they will not obviously act normal once cops show up. Do you ever read the news? Every day people's lives are saved because a concerned neighbor called the cops. Heck, give me their address and I'll call for you.
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lubaussie
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Thu, Mar 06 2014, 9:47 pm
amother wrote: | The above post is not me. This is the OP. Please clarify that you are not the OP before posting anonymously.
In regards to the many of you who are suggesting the police, I still don't understand how that helps. Obviously they will act normal as soon as their are cops at the door. And to call CPS, I would really have to have proof before I made that call. |
At least you will know that you did the right thing; the rest is in Hashem's (and the police's) hands. (Not that you can't still keep an eye/ear out...)
Or do you only try to help/save someone if you are guaranteed results?
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amother
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Fri, Mar 07 2014, 2:21 am
ora_43 wrote: | I'm surprised at how many people think OP needs to go investigate first. She said she hears screaming, what sounds like someone being hit, and kids crying.
What, at this point, would give her more evidence? I don't think anyone is going to commit abuse directly in her line of sight, to give her 100% certainty...
If OP is particularly gifted in talking to people, I guess she could try to see if she can get the wife or kids to open up. But on the off chance that they don't want to bare all to a stranger who doesn't speak their language, she's still not going to know anything more than she does now.
I can see arguing that calling the police probably won't be effective, but I find it really odd that people are arguing that calling the police is a good option only once you already know exactly what's happening. If you think police can help, how is the thought of calling police on a non-abusive family (in which case what happens is... nothing) more scary than the risk of doing nothing? |
I have a brother with emotional and behavioral disorders. he used to scream bloody murder if he didnt get his way and would physically hurt himself and others
I.e. cutting himself, banging his head agnst the wall, throwing things, etc..
a concerned passerby heard the noise and called the police thinking s/o was abusing him and my parents had a child abuse case agnst them till they proved the wounds were self induced. it took years , a lot of time , and a lot of money to clear their name.
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vintagebknyc
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Fri, Mar 07 2014, 9:30 am
amother wrote: | The above post is not me. This is the OP. Please clarify that you are not the OP before posting anonymously.
In regards to the many of you who are suggesting the police, I still don't understand how that helps. Obviously they will act normal as soon as their are cops at the door. And to call CPS, I would really have to have proof before I made that call. |
what if the police come and listen outside before coming in, won't they hear the screaming? what if they show up amidst an incident, now quiet, and two kids have bloody noses?
I hope that you are never involved in domestic violence, but I'd hate to think you were battered beyond recognition because someone was afraid the police wouldn't see anything.
this happens every day. the police are trained to see beyond appearances. making the dam*ed call already. or PM me and I will make the call. sitting there doing nothing makes you complicit in the abuse, did you know that?
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