Its a secret | Imamother

rising hero

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 1:44 pm

greenfire wrote:

let's not forget all the time & effort that goes into making the shalach manos match the costumes & the poetry ... someone else might copy your idea should you give away the secret ...

I could imagine those kind of mothers being paranoid & saying 'shh - it's a secret'

As kids we always tried to come up with original ideas...we started planning by Tu B'shvat. So obviously we didn't want anyone knowing what it is...they might copy us...
It was also part of the excitement. On purim morning all our neighbors would finally see what we were dressed up as...I don't think we were silly then.
We decided on our own to keep it a secret. However, if a mother doesn't want her kids to tell, what do you care?? Of course its not fair if they kid wants to tell, as part of the excitement, but that's between them and their mother. If you must know what the costume is you are just as immature.

imasoftov

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 8:00 pm

amother wrote:

So my 8 year old daughter asked her friend, a neighbor what she is being on purim. Her response? My mother said I can't say. Its a surprise. I overhead them talking and thought it was really dumb. What is the point of it being a secret? I think its highly immature of the mother.

I am very sorry the asteroid missed us.

MiracleMama

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 8:15 pm

amother wrote:

It's dumb to you. It's exciting to them. You really don't need to understand it to respect it, do you? Different strokes for different folks and all that. Move on.

greenfire

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 9:02 pm

Madam F. wrote:

I'm all for FUN & games & even secrets ...

even when I don't understand an idea - I comprehend the idea ...

zaq

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 9:57 pm

OP, by your reasoning, I suppose it's really immature of women who know the baby's gender to keep it a secret till after delivery? I mean, what's the point? Everyone's gonna find out eventually, right?

Let me guess--you're pretty sour on surprise parties, too.

mommy#1

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 11:29 pm

my friends family is beyond creative. they think up their purim costumes and themes from pesach, if not purim the year before. her mother makes the costumes, they make up their MM and poems and everything else, and its top secret info until purim. im not sure if its more top secret because its so exciting to them, they've been dreaming up the ideas the entire year, or if its just because they don't want anyone copying them. but I understand their wanting to keep everyone in suspense-its their years work!
I, on the other hand, showed everyone a picture of my DS in his costume!

Vanilla

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 1:13 am

This is the first year I invested in a costume..ds- friendly little kid - goes and tells all his friends at school about it. They all made sure to tell him how nerdy it is....wish I would have told him to keep it a secret!

amother

Red

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 1:31 am

Vanilla wrote:

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Last edited by amother on Thu, Sep 22 2022, 3:22 pm; edited 1 time in total

rachel91

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 5:26 am

Could be that the child decided for herself that it's a secret and the mom wasn't even involved in this.
Little girls like keeping things secret sometimes.

Honestly I think it is more immature for an adult to care so much about a little girls costume to post it on a forum, than keeping the costume a secret...

mandr

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 10:47 am

I know nobody's going to copy us because we don't choose typical themes for costumes and mishloach manos, but still, I don't like saying anything to anybody before Purim. Unless it's someone who we're not going to be meeting on Purim. I like the idea of us walking in to our relatives/friends homes and surprising them. It's fun to make surprises. And it's fun to be surprised!

amother

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 12:37 pm

Similar to a previous poster, I didn't want my kids to tell their friends this year because I know the family themed costume idea is nerdy. On Purim with the shaloch manos, it never ends up nerdy, but before Purim other kids in their class can be very mean about it.

If anyone is going to ask why we do nerdy family themed costumes instead of letting my kids be what they want there are a couple of reasons:
1) My boys just want to be anything with a weapon - which I don't want to encourage.
2) The family themed gets everyone excited about it. Myself and dh also dress up and we wouldn't if it wasn't a family theme.
3) I am able to do much cheaper costumes and shaloch manos when it is a theme.

btw - we don't try for nerdy - but some years are nerdier than other years.

rachel91

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 12:38 pm

mandr wrote:

Would you care if someone would 'copy' your costume or mishloach manos idea? Just asking.

mommyla

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 12:39 pm

Quote:

So sorry for him! Give him an extra hug! Tell him your friend's son is also being that because it's the best and most lovely costume. and he has such a great taste and it's possible that his friends are just jealous...

Off topic here... but I don't agree with telling kids that other kids are jealous. My parents told me that when I was a kid, and most of the time I wanted to scream. When the other kids are making fun of you, you don't care if they're jealous or not... you care about fitting in.

Ruchel

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 12:49 pm

mommyla wrote:

Yes. But knowing the problem comes from them helps. BTDT.

shanie5

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 10:24 pm

I used to keep it a secret-it was all part of the fun of the theme. Now my kids don't like me to tell-its part of their fun.

And when I have offered the info to some people in advance, they said "no. I am looking forward to seeing you guys on purim-dont ruin it for me!"

After saying that, I plan to post my poem for this year before purim. We will be in lakewood and if anyone recognizes us, I want them to let me know!

zaq

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 11:22 pm

amother wrote:

Do y the OP is entitled to her own opinion.

And so is the secret-keeping mother.
yes, I do think the two things are comparable. Both are projects that someone worked on for a long time and wants to present with a flourish at the appropriate time. Surprising people is half the fun.

What's not comparable is that just because you're having a boy doesn't mean someone else will steal your idea and have a boy, too. With creative costumes, idea-stealing is a very real possibility. I'm all for keeping it all under wraps till the big day.

amother

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 11:46 pm

rachel91 wrote:

Would you care if someone would 'copy' your costume or mishloach manos idea? Just asking.

Yes, I would. I put a lot of time, energy and thought into developing my ideas, and when somebody copies my idea, they're stealing something that took me days or weeks of work to design. No money in involved, but the person is stealing my brainwork. Plagiarism by any other name still stinks even in the absence of a legal copyright.

Besides, nobody wants to go to a party and see another woman wearing the same dress. So, too, nobody wants to find out someone else is making the same costume or MM package.