Lack of Shaloch Manos made me feel so bad

zaq

Mon, Mar 17 2014, 7:03 pm

Ever consider that maybe somebody STOLE most of your MM, and the 5 you found were delivered after the theft?

agreer

Mon, Mar 17 2014, 7:12 pm

zaq wrote:

Ever consider that maybe somebody STOLE most of your MM, and the 5 you found were delivered after the theft?

Who on earth would consider that?!?!

Although, 10,000 brownie points for being dan l'kaf zechus. You are so creative!

fmt4

Mon, Mar 17 2014, 7:44 pm

I think everyone is misunderstanding. She's not saying that the fifty people she gave didn't return. She's saying that most of them didnt think to come to her first, only five.

zaq

Mon, Mar 17 2014, 7:59 pm

agreer wrote:

Who on earth would consider that?!?!

!

I would. That is, if every year I gave out 50 MM and found 45 in front of my door, and one year I gave out 50 and found 5 after having been away from home all day, that's precisely what I would think. I feel very uneasy leaving MM at people's doors because a. it's broadcasting to all and sundry that the house is unoccupied and practically begs burglars to come on over and b. There is no earthly reason why some passerby should not take a gander at the pile of attractively wrapped packages and help him/herself to one or a few or most. No, my friend, I do not DLKZ--I davka DLKCh--dan lechaf chovah!

causemommysaid

Mon, Mar 17 2014, 9:22 pm

fmt4 wrote:

I think everyone is misunderstanding. She's not saying that the fifty people she gave didn't return. She's saying that most of them didnt think to come to her first, only five.

if thats the case then why be insulted? chances are that you got to them first. also as the years go by we deliver less and less. at some point we will only be giving to those who come to us first.

boysrus

Mon, Mar 17 2014, 10:31 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Yes! We need some takanos! Tongue Out

Actually there is some grass roots stuff going on. A lot of people do themes because they can get away with spending so little if it's a theme. That's not a bad thing, especially if they're paying more attention to matanos l'evyonim. Now what we need to do, again, on the grass roots level, is spread awareness of the concept that your theme should include foods that real people are likely to really eat.

speaking of the concept of giving matanos levyonim, this year my dh decided that we are absolutely goinng to giv e more money to matanos loevyonim than the value that we spent on MM. As a not at all well-to-do family, you can bet I really worked hard to keep MM costs down! personally I dont like the theme thing very much, but I can see that it can really keep costs down, so for that alone, maybe it is worth it.

amother

Mon, Mar 17 2014, 10:38 pm

I didnt read all the posts.
but op. I hear where you are coming from

we recently moved to a neighborhood where I actually grew up, after living OOT of a bunch of years.
we are having a hard time finding friends, and Purim is the one time of year where it really stands out.
I was kinda sad and down during the day noticing people who we thought were friends didnt come by and drop off..,( bh the kids didn't notice, they got from alot of ppl, and we went out for their friends..)

just sayin' I get what you mean op.

Chana Miriam S

Mon, Mar 17 2014, 10:48 pm

We'll, if y,Ou came to my door first, it's not because I didn't think of you, it's because I wasn't ready. We delivered after seudah.

Imogen

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 5:09 am

sorry op, I know how you feel!

After it happened the first time, I resolved not to care, easier said than done!! My husband took charge, he knew it hurt me to feel left out, although I would never admit it as it seemed so petty and shallow.

Now we give only to those we really know and want to , just a couple of friends,and instead send through tzedaka organisations we support mm to IDF soldiers and kids in hospital. We host some kids for a seuda who would never normally get an invite, their parents too. We dont do this to be nice, the kids are such fun,!!Singing, dancing, so happy so full of Purim sameach, that a couple walking by our garden knocked on the door to join in the fun, total strangers!!! Though the kids were a trained choir spieling for Purim and wanted to show their support, no!1 The kids are just a mix of ordinary kids, some with disabilities who usually do not go out, their voices were the loudest!

Call me silly and sentimental yes, but I am now sick of playing a game to fit in with people who have no manners or thoughts for the world around them, only concerned with fitting in, how does it look, and what do the popular ones do.? I stopped that when I left high school. Now those desperate to fit in and belong, as well as those deemed the " in crowd" do not matter to me any more, and because they know it ,my relationships with them as individuals, not cliques or machers is great, based on friendship and acceptance. Once people realise no competition or agenda of fitting in, life gets easier. Apologies for sounding harsh, I am reaching out to you op as if you were my daughter or sister, to h-ll with those who don't know the value of good manners and human warrmth, they are not worthy of your mm, your effort or thoughts. Dont feel sad, feel sorry for them, re-evaluate the situation and suddenly it is not what it seems.

A dear and very popular friend prepares for Purim with military precision, literally making scores of mm with themes, colour codes and amazing treats. Out and about I overheard a recipient of her gorgeous mm say my friend is always so "over the top and flashy, more money then sense " I was at my friend's home later that day, and yep there on the kitchen worktop was a mm from the same lady that had spoken so rudely about my chum I said nothing of course, but .... A lonely person, a sick child would appreciate an MM, and their smile and thank you would be the best and most meaningful return gift

myself

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 5:57 am

agreer wrote:

Who on earth would consider that?!?!

Although, 10,000 brownie points for being dan l'kaf zechus. You are so creative!

I don't know where you live but it has happened. More then once.