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Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions
Eating meals with non Jews



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amother


 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2014, 10:08 am
I'm BT, but have been frum for many years and had NEVER heard before that this is a halacha.....

at the Purim Seudah, I was told that eating a meal with a non Jew is against halacha. I know that many people don't do it and CERTAINLY don't DRINK wine with non Jews... but eat a meal???? I've eaten meals with non Jews MANY MANY MANY times.

What about family members? My husband's uncle is married to a non Jew. What about my son in public school? He eats with his classmates every day.

Before I ask a shayloh------ what is the source on which this is based? For various reasons I couldn't ask the person who told me this.......

thanks.
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vintagebknyc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2014, 10:14 am
it's not halacha, it's crazy kool-aid rudeness.
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tigerwife




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2014, 10:15 am
I think the source is actually a reason for not eating pas akum- it says not to eat bread with a Non Jew to prevent intermarriage.

See this article:
http://www.kashrut.com/articles/PasAkum/

Ask your Rav anyway because not everyone holds to only eat pas yisroel; in fact, I think that is less common than keeping cholov yisroel. Maybe the same goes for eating with a Non Jew altogether.
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vintagebknyc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2014, 10:18 am
tigerwife wrote:
I think the source is actually a reason for not eating pas akum- it says not to eat bread with a Non Jew to prevent intermarriage.

See this article:
http://www.kashrut.com/articles/PasAkum/

Ask your Rav anyway because not everyone holds to only eat pas yisroel; in fact, I think that is less common than keeping cholov yisroel. Maybe the same goes for eating with a Non Jew altogether.


no time to go read that link. however, even if it were chumra, that's not halacha
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2014, 10:21 am
doncha know - you might turn into a christian ... Rolling Eyes
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tigerwife




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2014, 10:23 am
To make things simpler:

Quote:
The Gemara in Avoda Zara 35b explains that there are certain items that are not prohibited on a Torah level but are prohibited by Rabbinic decree. Among the items listed is bread made by non-Jews. Rashi and the Rambam explain that the reason for this decree is to prevent intermarriage. The sharing of bread can create an atmosphere of friendship which can God forbid end up in intermarriage. The Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 112:1 quotes the Rashba who explains that this Rabbinic decree applies even when there is no fear of intermarriage, e.g. the bread of priests who themselves can’t get married and they don’t have children who could marry my children, nevertheless, the Rabbinic decree still stands (Shach (4)). Furthermore, the Shulchan Aruch explains that this decree only applies to bread made from the five primary grains: wheat, barley, spelt, oats and rye. Bread made from lentils, rice or millet is not included under the prohibition of Pas Akum. The Taz (2) explains that the reason for this distinction is that bread made from the five primary types of grain is a “davar chashuv” an important item – I.e. only an item of relative importance can engender those feelings of friendship that could lead to intermarriage.


Again, the actual concern was eating bread. People might have stretched this to mean 'meal'. Although, many meals include bread anyway. Also, as this ruling was not accepted by all of klal yisroel at the time (today, many people who abide kashrus rules and even keep cholov yisroel are lenient with pas akum), the same may apply with meals.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2014, 10:28 am
Never heard of this... I know chassidim who bring their coworkers to the kosher restaurant or eat their tupperware at the office canteen.
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ElTam




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2014, 10:45 am
The only meal I know that is a problem to have with non-Jews is the Pesach seder.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2014, 12:08 pm
ElTam wrote:
The only meal I know that is a problem to have with non-Jews is the Pesach seder.


actually I've asked a rav about this & it is not so clear cut ... I was told I could since otherwise my daughter wouldn't come to the seder
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2014, 1:35 pm
greenfire wrote:
actually I've asked a rav about this & it is not so clear cut ... I was told I could since otherwise my daughter wouldn't come to the seder


It's not just the Seder, it's problematic for any YT meal. But there's a good amt of room to be lenient. I have some geirim in my family, as well as intermarriages, so we've dealt with this a lot.
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Peanut2




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2014, 2:30 pm
The only issue is cooking for non-Jews on YT. If you are having a large meal and non-Jews are a small % of the people coming this is not an issue.

If you would like the names and contact info for rabbis you can ask about this please feel free to PM me. It is fine to eat with non-Jews, as many people do. Many people also invite non-Jews to YT meals, including many people who work in kiruv.

Don't fret!
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