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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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flowerpower

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 10:55 am

I know pesach is coming and you feel pressured but please don't keep your lady any longer than she is supposed to stay! Don't try to bribe her by offering her extra money either. Its disgusting and selfish!!!! My cleaning lady that I have for 3 measly hours a weeks is over an hour late. This is the second week in a row that it happened. I work, have a family bh, and these 3 hours matter a lot to me. Please remember that next time you consider doing something not nice. Thank you!

imasinger

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 11:10 am

I'm sorry your cleaning lady showed up so late. But I don't get it. Isn't it her job to be on time and to make arrangements? Why blame the previous client for the fact that she didn't say no?

My cleaner is a professional. He sets his own hours. If I ask for extra time before Pesach, he arranges it. If he needs to give someone else a time that he is usually here, we discuss it and plan it in advance.

While I would never throw an extra hour of work at him last minute and beg him to stay late, I don't consider it my responsibility to "get him out on time". It's my job to tell him my needs, and his to plan when and if he can meet them.

Just wanted to share another perspective.

flowerpower

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 11:18 am

I totally understand. That is another issue. She is not here yet and its an hour and a half. When I called her to see where she is I very respectfully explained that a job is a job. Last night we confirmed a weekly time. She has to make sure to show up on time even if she is in middle of working elsewhere.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 11:22 am

flowerpower wrote:

How do you know that she is working some place else? There can be so many reasons why she is late, even two weeks in a row.

I agree with imasinger. It is not the other lady's problem. It is your cleaning woman's problem. Dont be upset at the previous family, be upset at your cleaner.

Your anger is at the wrong person here.

sky

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 11:23 am

@imasinger - what if the person before you offered him double if he stayed by them instead of coming to you, and he took it. Would be annoyed? it happens.

aaya

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 11:31 am

wow! what a horrible situation. one of the few positives of living in south africa- full time domestic help.

flowerpower

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 11:33 am

I know because she told me. She said "I am comin late because I am working". Is that clear enough? That is after we disussed the time last night. I have the same cleaning lady for a few years and this only happens once a year- between purim and pesach. A lot of selfish people that forget that others exist offer more money during this month. They don't want to understand that they are stealing time for others and they will get paid back from up there.

greenfire

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 11:35 am

it's the before pesach insanity that happens ... I've heard about it ... the bribes - the lateness ... the change of who to work for & how late ... as if she is an owned woman

imho - you do need to call the person she is at before you as well as remind her & the cleaning lady both that your time is as valuable & your monies are just as green

imasinger

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 11:41 am

sky wrote:

@imasinger - what if the person before you offered him double if he stayed by them instead of coming to you, and he took it. Would be annoyed? it happens.

If he gave away my time that he committed to me? Sure, I'd be very annoyed. With HIM. And I'd be looking for a more responsible cleaner.

If he called and said, "Mrs X really needs me and is offering me double if I give her more time", I'd be able to say yes or no. I could either tell him that I expect him to honor his commitment to me and do the extra work for her on his own time, or agree to it in exchange for more time, or just to be nice.

Is it right to offer a bribe to a cleaner to reneg on their next client and stay extra? No, of course not. But in the end, my business relationship is to my employee, not the other clients, and that's what has to be addressed.

Flowerpower, what a pain! I wish I could help, but all I can do is send hugs.

ETA: when she called you last night, why didn't you tell her, "No, that is not acceptable"? Maybe say it to her today. Be nice but firm.

Ruchel

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 1:05 pm

Except you can never know... you may ask if she has no one on Tuesday, and she says no because she wants the money, but she really has.

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